Helping a Mom Out

Updated on October 04, 2011
M.L. asks from Spokane, WA
14 answers

THANK you to the mom who saved my day! I was at the ob's office and had to take my 3 yr old noone was available to watch him for me. He was throwing a royal tantrum b/c he was wearing a shirt he didn't want to wear.

He screamed for a full 20 mins, I am a new patient and had to fill out paperwork and try and calm him and look at glares or people giving me the 'poor woman' sad look. I took him outside, talked to him calmly, then I started to lose my patience when nothing I did worked. I brought his favorite toy and tried to engage him, again, he just screamed. I gave him a swat on the butt, I got him a drink of water, I pleaded, I held him... I then resorted to ignoring so I could finish my paperwork.

Well, another mom with a baby came up to us and started playing with my son. He was hesitant at first, and she was not forceful, but he calmed down quickly and played with her. Then we had a nice chat for about 20 mins until we were called in to see the Dr.s

So... since I have been seeing posts lately about parents and their screaming kids in public, I just thought it was so awesome to see another mom understand and help out in a totally non-threatening and non-judgmental way.

Have any of you ever done this, as either the recipient of such kindness or as the nice lady helping out? How has it gone over?

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't think parents have a problem with screaming kids... I think parents have a problem when they witness the parent NOT DOING ANYTHING about it. You clearly tried all you could. How nice of the mom who helped. I've been in a similar situation where someone tries to distract and console my child when they see I'm out of options.

4 moms found this helpful

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H.P.

answers from Houston on

Lovely story.

At a funeral a few years ago, there was a young woman with her two children--toddler and infant. The infant had all her attention, and the toddler wanted some of that attention, and she was pushing him away. (She didn't seem to be angry, just too much on her plate.) The little boy walked away, just a little past my seat. I looked at the mother and communicated with her that I wanted to give her child some attention, and she was fine with it. Well, I asked him if he wanted to sit with me, and he climbed onto my lap and went right to sleep. I sat for the rest of the funeral with the baby sleeping on me, and it was my pleasure.

7 moms found this helpful

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

That's so awesome :) I do that all the time, try to help mom's who obviously have their hands full... It's such a rarity now, that most women look at me like I'm some kind of crazy lady... honestly, I love kids and have no problem getting down on the floor with someone else's kids, just to help another mom out!!

More than once, I've been in a women's restroom at the grocery store/in the mall/where ever, and some frantic mom will hand me their baby because they didn't have a stroller and had to pee, LOL!! I've done that too, gotten to the bathroom carrying the baby like 'how the hell did I think this was going to work?!'...

It truly takes a village!!

6 moms found this helpful
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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

That's wonderful! What a terrific story.

I had a wonderful experience about five years ago. Our son's ADHD was out of control then at three years old. He was losing it at gym class and I needed to remove him from the class. He was hitting, kicking and clawing me as I carried him, while screaming at the top of his lungs. One of the moms rushed over to help, grabbing my bags and then walking with us out to the car to help further. It was the kindest gesture I'd ever had! I was so used to people giving angry glares instead.

There really are some great people in the world.

5 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

How nice of her!

Many times, I have entertained the toddler in the seat of the grocery cart ahead of me so the mom can focus on unloading her stuff and paying properly. Because we all really don't have eyes in the back of our heads or three sets of hands! LOL

I have taken many of younger siblings on my son's sports teams for looooooong, exciting, treasure hunt walks around the soccer fields, baseball fields, etc., when the mom obviously needs a hand/a break/or 20 minutes of peace!

4 moms found this helpful

R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

Any time I am somewhere and I see a child acting out next to me I always try to engage in talk with the child or play hide and seek or some simple game that I can do while standing/ sitting right next them.

Some times the mom's are happy and thankful ( even if its a simple smile) other times the parent will pull the child away and give dirty looks.

3 moms found this helpful

K.J.

answers from Chicago on

That is a great story!! Thank you for sharing it.

Yesterday I was having a tough time with my kids at the park--not because they were being unruly, but my 2 yr old wanted me to help him with climbing & sliding, but I was trying to feed the baby a bottle. A really sweet little girl (probably about 8 or 9 yrs old) came over, started talking to me, and seeing that my 2 yr old wanted me too, asked if she could help by holding the bottle. What a sweet little angel! She was so gentle & cute with my baby, and my 2 yr old was quite happy to have mommy's help doing the things that he couldn't do alone.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

If I know a Mom is doing her best I just use words of encouragement so they know that they are supported and not judged by me. Kudos to the Mom that helped you...Glad you made it through your appointment.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Houston on

I was on a flight back from Las Vegas with two kiddos. My youngest was under the age of two but not by much. We were flying to Indianapolis (3 hour drive home to Kentucky) because it was the cheapest flight out. Anyway, I had my DD (around 5ish) and DS (under 2) free flight if they sit in your lap. I had a copilot next to me flying home. He was wonderful with my son. Held him, walked with him while I worked with my daughter. He was great! I kept telling him thank you, and he told me it was his pleasure that he didn't see his grandchildren like he would like and missed having small kids. I will never forget the kindness he showed me and my kids.

If I see a mom struggling, I always try to help. Sounds like you had an angel yesterday!

3 moms found this helpful
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H.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have had this happen to me and I have assisted other parents in times of need. I hope that most of us parents know that some days are just rough. Kids are hungry, don't feel good, tired but Momma or Daddy still have errands to run and apt to go too. So glad that someone was there to help you that day.

2 moms found this helpful
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❤.I.

answers from Albuquerque on

How nice of her! I bet that helped out a bunch. It's nice when other moms can empathize. I was walking my daughter into school yesterday and lately I've been having her open the doors by herself just to see if she can handle it on her own for when I let her go off on her own. Anyway we were running a little late to the schoolyard and a mom in front of us was holding the door for us and I'm trying to rush her through but, no, she wants the door closed so she can open it herself. So I tried relaying that to the other mom and she was like "oh don't worry, I've been there" I guess it made me feel a little better that she got it.

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
It depends on how committed to the tantrum the child is (there's a point of no return for some and all they can do is fuss till it's nap time).
Some of the time a stranger coming up to a toddler and trying to talk to them is enough where they'll quiet down and grab Mom's leg - other times they'll throw themselves on the floor and have a full melt down.
It all depends how tired/hungry they are or if they got up on the wrong side of the bed that morning.

1 mom found this helpful

B.F.

answers from Toledo on

That is awsome!! I just get the glares like lady why cant you control you kids!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Yes I do that all the time.
It is always taken in a good way.
One woman even told me "I HAVE to tell my Husband... he thinks I don't know how to be a Mom and our kid is a brat."
She told me, she is GLAD that she is not the only one, who has this happen to her.
She felt, she was the worse Mom.

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