I have a close friend that has just been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. She started chemo today. I will be going to her house to help out when I can. This is a person that has been a very important part of my children's lives. I'd like to put a basket together of things to help her... Any ideas?
I second www.lotsahelpinghands.com
There's a calendar you can use to add tasks (meals, rides, babysitting needs,etc) and it helps friends & family stay up to date so the family isn't having to take a million calls...she can update her progress, etc herself or a friend, family member can do it for her.
All the best.
Just went thru this with my bestie. She lived with me for quite some time. I took care of her while doing chemo and radiation. She was blessed with an incredible sense of humor and will to live. Ohnthenthings we did. We dressed as nuns for chemo. We looked quite authentic. The patients, nurses and docs loved it. Actually everyone always looked forward to us coming. They never knew what we had under our belt. Don't get me wrong there were some rough times. Just be there for her. Love her. Take her for a ride in the car to get fresh air. Rent movies and watch with her. I do not know how old your children are or how available you are to her. We rode on a children's train, sort of bu gi jumped at the mall, drove the scooters at Walmart. I documented everything on film. Unfortunately, on June 16th she lost her battle, but we had two great years. Just do the best you can. Hopefully she will guide you. Gob bless and I will keep you both in my prayers.
You're a good friend. I'd like to point you to a blog post by a lady who recently lost a good friend to brain cancer. After her friend passed her family found a letter with a section called "What Will Help Me." Maybe it's something that will help you understand how your friend may be feeling and help her emotionally as well as physically, which it sounds like you are already awesomely doing.
http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/heather/in-jackies-words/
You can organize a group of friends/relatives through Lotsa Helping Hands - you and maybe one other person could be the coordinators, and put up the tasks that would be helpful. For example, meals for the family 3 times a week, laundry, cleaning, carpools for any kids, whatever is needed. We've done it several times, with a cooler outside the garage or on the porch, and people drop off meals. LHH lets you post preferred meals or things to avoid, request disposable containers so nothing needs to be washed & returned, and so on.
She might like saltines, almonds, small cans of ginger ale, things easy on thes stomach. Also small bottles of hand lotion, small puzzle books (when she's too tired to do anything else), notes of encouragement, maybe a little book of inspirational sayings of encouragement. Nothing too long in case she doesn't have energy or focus, but something she can pick up and put down. Some women like a journal to record their thoughts and fears and hopes. Include 2 pens. If she's likely to lose her hair, then a couple of cute hats or scarfs or kerchiefs, whatever you think her style might be.
There have been clinical trials by oncologists using a particular company for nutritional supplements that help offset fatigue in cancer patients - safe for those with compromised immune system caused by chemo, easy to absorb to keep energy and nutrition up when faced with nausea, and so on. It's liquid so it's easy to digest (no pills), and it's all food, no drugs, so completely compatible with her treatment. The studies were conducted at 2 major cancer centers. If you think she'd like to know about that, let me know.
Well, she will get really cold and nauseous from the chemo, so hopefully she has a prescription for Zofran. A warm and soft robe or lap blanket, slippers, lotion, magazine/crossword puzzle/book... whatever she likes). NO flowers or plants b/c of the spores can make them sick. Candies she can suck on, small packages of crackers. Good lip balm or hand lotion (not the scented kind, the good Eucerine kind) b/c their skin dries out really bad. Organize meals to be brought for her, someone to go grocery shopping for her.
My dad had Leukemia and did a lot of chemo. Bless you for helping her, it's very rough!
I am reading this and crying because I saw your other answers and I myself had uterine cancer (survivor!!! oowhoooo) and am amazed and alive. Can she have / take bubble baths? Bubble bath. Can she snack on anything? Favorite drinks? books, books, stationary, notebooks or journals, anything that is something she likes and makes her know that you care. Praying for your friend. Want to hear that she gets through this okay!!!
Good soft socks, soft nightgown, she may not want to wear pajama bottoms..
Soft slippers.
Warm soft hat or cap.
I gave her a cute lunch bag, because she was told to take her own snack and lunch for her appt.
She will need a fruit and vegetable soap. She has to be very careful about her food and how it is handled.
This crisp cookies.
Soft warm throw,
I gave my friend a small rolling suitcase to take her stuff in, to her Chemo appointments.
We purchased a subscription to Netflix.
She was actually given an ipad. She could read books, magazines, the news on there. Look at her email, facebook.. Watch movies, TV, listen to music, play card games... etc..
See if her family or a group of friends can go in together to purchase one for her.
Be there for her. Go to chemo treatments when you can. Get her a journal for her to write in.
Her taste and smell will change. She may like hot spicy food to hellp her with the nasuea. Sometimes the smells of food will turn her off to eating.
Knowing that you are around is a great emotional feeling for a person going through chemo. My husband has thanked me many times for beingthere and going with him. It makes the patient feel better and relaxed.
If you can plan with neighbors and friends to help she will appreciate it.
You will both be in my thoughts for a good outcome.
The other S.
Updated
Be there for her. Go to chemo treatments when you can. Get her a journal for her to write in.
Her taste and smell will change. She may like hot spicy food to hellp her with the nasuea. Sometimes the smells of food will turn her off to eating.
Knowing that you are around is a great emotional feeling for a person going through chemo. My husband has thanked me many times for beingthere and going with him. It makes the patient feel better and relaxed.
If you can plan with neighbors and friends to help she will appreciate it.
You will both be in my thoughts for a good outcome.
The other S.
I'm a (3 year) breast cancer survivor. Here are a couple of things I wrote that you may find helpful: http://lilyrose.hubpages.com/hub/talking-with-a-person-wh... and http://lilyrose.hubpages.com/hub/BreastCancerInfo.
Best wishes to you and your friend.
Hire someone to clean her house. The effects of chemo are cumulative, so she'll feel worse as time goes on. Do nice and supportive things now, or anytime, but she'll need the big guns after it kicks in.
