Helping a Family in Need

C.:

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for your colleague's family as well.

Talk to the cancer society of which she died of, they may have a fund set up to help families in these situations.

Talk to the father - privately - and find out what he needs - house cleaning, cooking, child care, etc. then go through your church and see if you can arrange a schedule or even a fund raiser for the family. When my girlfriend found out she had leukemia - her church organized a blood drive in her name....after she died? They organized a fund raiser for her daughter (age 9 at the time of her mother's death) for a college fund.

I wouldn't do anything until I talked to the father to see what he needs and wants.

Since her daughter is a minor - she should be eligible for social security benefits - I BELIEVE - don't quote me on this - however - I do believe that my girlfriend's daughter receives benefits from her mother's death.

Your work MAY have had a small life insurance policy on her. There are companies that offer a base salary policy....but really - the spouse will have to get that information. You might inquire for him.

May your colleague's memory be eternal. I pray her daughter won't forget her mother!

Hope this helps!

Food, babysitting, just being a friend. Do not ask what you can do, just do what you think husband will need. Her husband I assume works. Hopefully he made much more than his wife, so that financially it won't be too much of an adjustment. He will need now to braid hair,etc. Most of his needs will be at home. It could also be that over the course of the year he has done it all. Sorry just writing what pops I to my head. So sad. Anything that you think will make his days easier would be best. Prayers and hugs to family😥😥😥

I agree about the book. Hold off on it. Maybe give her the doll.

I would prepare a bunch of meals that can be kept in the freezer, and just tossed in the oven. Use disposable baking dishes, so the husband doesn't have to worry about cleaning/returning the dishes to you. Write the heating directions on the lid. (Or, if you know they have a crock pot you can make meals into freezer bags with the same concept.)

Maybe prepare and drop off one or two a week, for however long you feel is appropriate.

You can also offer to baby-sit the daughter if possible.

You can hire a housekeeper to clean for them once a week for a while.

Anything useful that will take some strain off her family's daily life for the next few weeks will be appreciated I'm sure.

I DO think I would wait and give the book on a day that is not her birthday... It's a wonderful thought, but her birthday will be hard enough after having just lost her mother. I don't think receiving a book reminding her of it will help much. I would give her the doll for her birthday, but the book either tonight or the day after her birthday.

That is so sad.

Food, a fund for a cleaning service?

Please everyone, even if you stay home, you need life insurance!!!!!

A college fund trust.

Whatever financial vehicle is possibly set up for him/his daughter.... it entails a lot of research or professional help.
You'd need to make sure of tax implications for him, etc. And how it would be facilitated and managed and by whom, and how the funds would be doled out etc. and if he can, afford it. As well. And what the restrictions are etc.
And being it is for him, he'd need to know about it.
It entails lots of personal information to set one up. His, personal information. He might need it but be reticent to actually say "yes" to it or people wanting to help him financially.

There is also things like: www.gofundme.com
Which is an online vehicle for donations etc. for all types of reasons/needs. And it is legitimate.

And does he have family? Other than his daughter?
He must really feel at a loss... and unsure of how to even maybe buy clothing or shoes for his daughter. And she must be going to school now.
Something as easy as figuring out what shoe size your child wears, for some Dads, are not easy! Because, Mommy used to do it, etc.

Also, check in with him now and then... see how he is doing. Men, can find it hard, to express their emotions. Especially being widowed.
And the grief process.... can be very long... and hard and full of many mixed emotions. And he will probably try and put on a brave face, especially being he has a child. But all humans, need to just let go too, and vent. My Mom was Widowed. Its hard. She attended a 'grief support group' in our local area, to help her and it helped tremendously.

Its nice you are trying to help.

Something similar happened last year to a family at my daughters school. The child was 6. The friends of the mother who died threw a bake sale at the school which helped raise a few hundred dollars - it was something and was an avenue for those of us who wanted to do something but didn't know what.

Our girl scout troop made sure to get her enrolled. Her mom was considering having her join, then she got sick suddenly and quickly.

The dad is going to need a lot of adjustment. I'm sure he will be totally lost with all the day to day stuff his wife took care of that he never even thought about. If you are close enough, and have kids the same age, invite the little girl over for play dates. This will give Dad a break and hopefully the daughter can forget her troubles during a fun afternoon at your house.

So sorry for your loss.

Since the daughter just started or is getting ready to start school, maybe someone can help with that? Making sure that she has supplies, create a calendar of important things and dates, like lunch money, picture day, halloween party, when school is out early, etc. I know that it sounds trivial in the current scheme of things, but it is something that Mom would've done, and Dads usually don't think about.

Taking over a meal is always a good idea. House sit during the funeral and veiwing. It has happened to families of the deceased, their names are in the paper, and the times of the veiwing and funeral, they get home only to find they have been robbed. While there look around to see if anything needs to be done. You could load the dishwasher, toss in a load of laundry, run the vacuum etc.

Definitely set up a trust fund with a bank they belong to o u know. Can I also suggest a website where people sign up for meals and bring them to the family. Even if it was just once a week. They can save the left overs but I'm sure the husband is too distraught to think of dinner for them. Loved your American girl gift so sweet. Keep checking in with them. They might need something different like rides for her daughter from dance class etc. I hope they have found a great therapist to help them through. This is all I can think of right now. Thank you for being a kind and caring decent thoughtful and compassionate human being.

By all means, pass a card & make sure there's a twenty in the card as it starts around. That's what we do at work
You can use a website to collect donations.
Gift cards, cleaning service, etc. would all be helpful.

You don't mention how many "we" are? If this is a large company, then you should speak with someone high up in the accounting/financial dept. about a trust. A trust would be something set up with a large amount of money.

Everyone reacts differently to tragedy and loss. Some like to mourn in private and basically be left alone, others seek the comfort of friends and colleagues.

Here are some suggestions...
Assuming the daughter will be going to school, a backpack filled with school supplies.
After school care, or other babysitting.
Gift cards to local restaurants, especially those that have take out.
Make some meals, especially something that can be frozen in containers that don't need to be returned.. Even things like veggies all washed and cut up can be a great help when you don't feel like cooking or need a snack.
Do the grocery shopping and pay for the food, making sure the fridge is stocked for the next few weeks.

Before doing anything on a large scale, talk with the father.

C.,
All of the answers you have received are great ideas.
I just wanted to say "thank you" for being such a loving and caring
person by taking the steps you are to help. I believe many people
want to help but do not know where to start.
God Bless you.