Hi Mamas,
My 3-1/2 year old daughter has been a challenge to put to bed for a long time. I'm a fan of Weisbluth's "Healthy Sleep, Happy Baby," and believe that her having a good night's sleep is crucial. It seems like I have two different children when she's well rested and when she's sleep deprived.
A few months ago, we had a good bit of luck starting her bedtime routine (potty, teeth, jammies, 3 stories) around 7:00. Most nights she'd fall asleep pretty quickly. In the past two or three weeks, though, she's started having trouble again. She'll be awake for an hour or two after going to bed, sometimes getting up to play or come out of her room, sometimes just lying in bed singing and talking. We've tried moving bedtime a bit earlier, 6:45 and even 6:30 a few times, but haven't noticed a difference. The tricks we used to use to help her slow down before sleeping aren't seeming to help anymore.
I'm starting to suspect that the daylight cues are really bothering her. I have blackout curtains in her room (not 100% effective, but it's dark), but she *knows* it's not "nighttime" yet because it looks like day in the rest of the house. Also, things became worse when the evenings started being clear and sunny instead of overcast and dreary like they were for most of June, and she hasn't been falling asleep until after dark. I don't seem to notice a difference when she has more physical activity, and I've cut back her TV viewing so that some days she doesn't have any. And she hasn't napped in well over a year.
Help! I'd love some advice for helping her to slow down at night. I want my well rested girl back!
EDIT:
Yes, she's tired enough for the earlier bedtime. Eye rubbing, dark circles, acting out tired. When she goes straight to sleep at night, she usually sleeps for 11.5-12 hours and wakes on her own around 7:30 AM, cheerful and well rested. When she doesn't fall asleep until after 9:00 (sometimes as late at 10:00), she usually wakes on her own between 8:00 and 8:30. If she doesn't wake on her own, I do go in and get her. Then she's grumpy and easily upset. We spend most of those days dealing with tantrums and disobedience. Like I said, she's a different child when she's rested and when she's not.
You said you'd tried an earlier bedtime, but what about a little later? She may not be tired at 7 every night.
I would try a little bit later bed time like 7:30, also, if your hallway is bright like mine, shut the other bedroom and bathroom doors. This helps darken the hallway.
You don't say what time she wakes in the morning. If it is at 7:00 am then she is getting 12 hours of sleep and she just might not need that much anymore. Summertime is rough with the earlier and later daylight hours. Is she getting up earlier as well? Do you wake her in the morning or let her sleep until she gets up on her own? If she has to be awake at a certain time in the morning then you could make her have quiet time in the afternoon on the days after she stays up later, not a nap perse but if she should fall asleep then she needed a bit more rest. But she needs to understand that it has to be quiet time. Hopefully as the days grow shorter this problem will go away.
I haven't read the other responses, but my daughter is also 3 and we are dealing with the same thing. I've found that making her bedtime a bit later has actually helped. I think we were putting her to bed before she was ready, so she would start playing and miss her body telling her she was tired. If she's put to bed when she's tired, she goes right to sleep. She currently goes to bed at 8 or 8:30, depending on whether she took a nap or not, and gets up at 7:30 or 8. Good luck.
Our 3 1/2 yr old son is having the same issues. We start bedtime at 7, but we are lucky if he's in bed asleep by 8:30..usually it's 9.
Just this week he's really been working it. Mama, can I sleep on the floor, mama i have a sliver, mama, I'm scared, mama I have to potty, mama, can I have all my superfriends...Have you heard of the book...Just go the F*CK to sleep? for adults of course...that has been running thru my head nightly!
We've been trying to let him push it a bit farther since it's summer-but I know what you mean. The funny thing is once he stops moving he is out like THAT.
I think it's something you have to relax into a bit, but they also need to know when enough is enough. He knows when he's finally pushed it and I get a look. He generally continues to whine, but I just keep reiterating it's bedtime and mommy's getting mad...
Not a great answer to help you-but you're not alone!
Do some regular physical activity like swimming lessons, gymnastics, etc. Limit sugars and natural sugar foods for dinner. Get one of those machines that make nature noises like forests, oceans--get them at the nature conservatory stores. If your daughter is still napping, maybe it is time to shorten or eliminate the nap.....(sorry?)
And remember there are three things you cannot make a child do--eat, sleep, and pee or poop when you want them too. (sigh)....
I know not all parents will agree, but have you tried some simple aromatherapy? I like giving my girls a little bit of massage with a lavender scented baby lotion. the lavender really seems to help calm and settle them. I've also used lavender essential oil on a cotton ball stuck inside the pillowcase when we didn't have time for the massage/lotion trick.
I suggest a later bed time....not an earlier one. If she's waking after an hour or two it makes me think she wasn't tired enough to go to bed - like her body is viewing it as a nap instead of going to bed for the night.
You are a SAHM. Let her rise later in the morning. Be flexible. She's is obviously light sensitive. Does she nap? If so cut the nap back.
