Hi everyone :) I need a little advice. For two weeks I have been bringing my daughter to a babysitters apartment on two nights a week before I have class. The babysitter is a distant relative on her fathers side, so while she has met her several times before, she does not know her well. She is usually there for less then an hour before her dad picks her up. I have left a bag of familiar toys and books with the babysitter and we have talked about many of the little things Emma enjoys (songs, looking for buses outside, playing ball, videos, etc.) Tomorrow will only be the fourth time we have done this, but two out of the three times, Emma has been very upset and does not want to let go of me once we get there. I am sure this is probably normal, but I just wanted to see if anyone had any advice on things that worked for them in a similar situation. Yesterday I went a little early to sit and play before I had to go, but that was not helpful. Thank you for any help!
C.,
O. thing that might help is to work the sitter's name into conversation a lot so the sitter will "feel" more familiar to her. I'm sure she's fine after a few minutes. Don't drag out the goodbye. Just tell her "daddy will be here to pick you up in a little while & I'll see you later t home" and GO. It only makes it worse by spending too much time leaving. Good luck!
Emma is not unlike a whole lot of other children out there who react the same way.
Does your babysitter say she is upset the entire time until her Daddy picks her up? My guess is that a few minutes goes by and she is fine.
18 months can be a very trying time with regard to separation anxiety as well. I would talk to her about the sitter, remind her that you are taking her there and that she will have lots of fun playing until Daddy picks her up.
When dropping her off, make sure she has everything she needs, kiss-hug-I love you, and out the door. It's hard but it will get better.
Keep up the good work!
maybe try dumping the toys on floor when you arrive to ensure she will play with them...do you have a friend who will do so you can see if it is apttern?
hi - 18mnths is a VERY hard age - because of separation anxiety - here are some suggestions:
1. can the sitter come to your house to watch your daughter while you have class?
2. can you arrange for "playdates" with the sitter at times in between when you do stay there and play that way she gets used to be there with you and feels safe?
3. can you arrange for the sitter to come to your house in between times so she can get used to the sitter and start to build a relationship with her?
4. you may want to purchase 'special items" that can only be playd with at sitters house - that makes them special ya know?
5. arrange for the sitter to meet you for lunch or at the park that type thing - again to start to build a relationship...
Let us know how it goes!!
S. w.
Don't sit down and play with her. I'd drop off the stuff and ask the babysitter to take her into another room and then you slip out.
Sounds mean, but not. She might cry a little but she should settle down. Also don't make yourself tense over it or a big deal, she'l sense it and get upset.
I agree w/ the drop and run method. When my son was about 15 months, I started exercising and working for short periods of time at the Y. I swear, my son must have cried everytime I dropped him off from Sept to Dec. The babysitters told me, and I saw it when I peeked in, that he did fine. He cried for about 5 mins after I left and then he got interested in something and moved on. A year later when he started preschool 2 days a wk as a 2 yr old, he was the only child who didn't cry. He knew what it was like to be left and knew I'd come back. I'll agree it's hard the first couple times, but just talk it over w/ the babysitter so she knows to take your daughter right away. Then when you get to class, call and see how she's doing. By then, I'll bet she's playing nicely.
Good luck!
T.
