Help...i Am Freaking Out About My Son Going to kindergarten...warren Con

Big hugs mama. I personally didn't sleep at all the night before kiddo started preschool (in fact, I had to go take a nap after dropping him off and I kept the phone in my ear the whole time)... and had a repeat with K.

K was *terrifying* for me. I had visited over 50 preschools to find the "right" one... but had no choice at all in elementary schools. Well, sort of. Because we were in an apartment the district chose to assign our son to be bussed to a school over an hour away (discrimination, much?), so we used our childcare address instead and hopped districts. But still. 2 vs 50. I lost sleep all summer, and didn't sleep at all the night before.

Of course, he was fine. I was just a wreck.

I REALLY have to 2nd the fact that there is no such thing as a perfect placement. The school itself that kiddo went to was awful (not dangerous, or badly funded, the school board just decided to jump on the bandwagon with really crappy curricula/scope&sequence... the other school he would have been bussed to was actually dangerous), but his teacher was amazing Amaaaaaazing. I still want to go give her hugs whenever I think of her. Now we homeschool (for many reasons) and not even THAT is perfect, and I get to tailor everything to him & his needs & his learning style & his interests. Sigh.

IMHO 1/2 of life is learning how to overcome obstacles. You won't know until he starts school what those obstacles are going to be. Great school, lousy teacher? Great teacher, mediocre school? Social problems? Academic problems? You just won't know.

So there's nothing to do but throw the baby in the river and see if they can swim. Then you're dealing with the real situation, instead of "maybes" and you can actually make reasoned decisions based on experience. AND you'll learn a lot. So you'll be able for the *following* year (aka by xmas break) to really know what you want and what to look for in a school.

Hugs again. ((Sometimes I think all Kindergarten Mums should be having a sleepover in the gym... none of us actually get any sleep... and that way we could at least be setting up playdates). But I guess we should count our blessings. Next thing ya know our babies are getting their learner's permits!

I have a couple of thoughts. #1- is half day kindergarten available at your elementary? At this point, full day kindergarten is not mandatory in MI. Therefore, the children can not be taught additional curriculum in the afternoon. Yes, they get extra socialization and they review the material they learned in the AM, but unless I was in need of PM childcare, I would choose a half-day program. #2 I had heard that Troy Public Schools were to begin offering open enrollment at the lower elementary level. You would need to check with the district to find out if this is true.
I'm a mommy of two and I work in the early childhood field. I know I will have similar feelings next year when my son turns 5. I plan to send him to a half-day program and if he's not ready, I'll find some sort of developmental kindergarten or young 5's program. What month does/did your child turn 5? My son is a July birthday so he's right on cusp of being on the young side.

Relax! Sounds like you want the perfect placement. Well, there is not such thing! Going to the school you've chosen isn't going to harm your son even if it's not what you expect. Also, it's as important for you to adjust to a school's way of doing things as it is for your son to adjust to starting school. You will never find a school that does everything the way you want it done.

I'm don't know what you mean by a half block away from the Troy School line. Is Susick Elementary the school's name and is it in the Troy school school district. Or are these 2 different school with in 2 different areas? Susick and Troy.

In our school district, even in Kindergarten, the student attends the school within the boundaries of that school as determined by their address. Half a block away is still out of the next distri

If both of these schools are within the main school district they are going to use the same curriculum. The physical classroom may be different. The number of children placed in each classroom may be different. The district has a goal for both the upper and lower number of children. You can learn that sort of thing by calling the district office.

The main difference will be the teacher's personality. If school were in session you could go to the school and meet the teacher if she were to have the same assignment the following year and if there is only one K teacher. Since school is out, I don't know of any way that you can evaluate the teacher or the physical classroom. Even if another parent tells you their views, they are still that parent's views and will not help you know if this would be a good placement.

Public school kindergartens within the same district and usually within the area are all similar and it's not like you can shop and find the "best" one.
You have to trust that the kindergarten within your boundaries is going to be OK at this point. No matter how much checking into the class you will not actually know how your son will adjust to that program.

If you can find a way to relax and stop thinking about this, both you and your son will have much better success once school starts. IT WILL BE OK. It won't be perfect. You cannot have perfection.

I suggest that the level of anxiety you are describing is not normal and will eventually make you sick as well as create anxiety in your child which will get in the way of his adjusting to school. I urge you to talk with your doctor about the anxiety and perhaps start an anti-anxiety medication.

Your post sounds like you are going over and over what might be wrong instead of what is most likely to be right. We learn ways of thinking from our childhood upbringing that just do not work when we become adults.
If you are not able to turn off your anxious thoughts so that you can sleep I also suggest that you talk with a counselor. There are several ways to manage emotions so that you can cope with life in a more comfortable way.

I have had chronic anxiety and situational depression all of my life. I've taken both anti-anxiety and anti-depressants and found them to be extremely helpful. I've also been in therapy and counseling which has helped me learn how to focus on the positive instead of the negative. Positive affirmations also help me.

I suggest you try saying over and over to yourself something like, "this school will be OK for my son." say it out loud and in your mind, over and over. We do believe what we say to ourselves. As long as you're worrying about whether or not this is the best school, you'll be anxious. You need to stop that cycle of negative thinking.

Again, there never will be a school that is perfect. And you won't know about this or any other school until you've experienced it. If your son is going to a public school you have no choice unless the district allows for transfers. How will you know if the neighboring school is any better than the current one if you've not spent time at both? Please find a way to relax and know that this will be OK.

Also remember that this is not a permanent decision between what is acceptable and what is not. If your son has difficulties you can work with the teacher/school to find remedies. You will continue to have options.

You might want to check out www.greatschools.com and see where the elementary school ranks in its testing. Also, I'm surprised that if you live in Troy that you can't send your child to elementary school their; I would check things out. Sometimes having information is the best way to ease your nerves.

Good Luck!

Hello S.,
I am a teacher and I want to tell you that kindergarten is a happy place! A very happy place! Your son with love it.... I don't know about that particular school, but you can also volunteer and that will ease your worries. And teachers always need help! Good luck. I know it will turn out great!

www.mycmsite.com/marycluley

I know exactly where you live because I actually went to Susick elementary (I am a 1995 high school grad - so I went a long time ago). I lived behind mcdonalds off of dequindre. Warren Con is a good district, and just like any district it has it's up's and downs but you will get that any place even in Troy. My family debated sending me to Troy schools as I got older but didn't and I turned out pretty well. My suggestion is get involved with the school as much as you can, that way you feel more comfortable with the school. Start going to the playground at the school and you will probably meet other mom's who are planning on attending the school.
Don't freak out, do your research and remember every school has problems you will never find a perfect one. Since nothing is perfect, but I say get involved and that will probably help make you feel better about the school. If you decide by winter break it is not working, then change but I would at least give it a chance. Good luck - if you have an private questions about the area please send me a message - I lived in the area for over 20+ years and my dad just moved 5 years ago.

I spoke with my husband last night - a very well respected teacher in Warren Consolidated schools - He tells me the prinicipal at Susick use to be his Vice Principal & my husband claims he is fantastic & would go so far as to say probably the best in the district! Rest assured, your child is in good hands!