Help with Sleeping - Ridgefield Park,NJ

He is 10 weeks old. Cut him a little slack. He will
sleep longer in time. You can't make things happen
for him if he is not ready.

I have a 4 month old. She doesn't sleep perfectly by any stretch but, the one thing that really helped us at 7-8 weeks that I hadn't been doing was swaddling. You didn't mention whether or not he was swaddled in your question. I've told a couple of friends to swaddled when they weren't and their babies switched from ever 2-3 hours to twice a night.

My daughter is 10 weeks old as well and is a very fussy sleeper. She'll sleep 9 hours one night without waking up once and then she'll sleep 4 hours another night, wake up to eat and then be up for two more hours before she'll go back to sleep. Every baby is different. I'm sure the rice cereal is not harming your baby. My daughter has reflux and has been getting cereal in her bottles since she was four weeks old (and that was on doctor's orders!!) We have not tried to get her on a schedule yet because it seems too early. She can be very fussy during the day with her feedings as well as naps. One day she'll eat 4oz and go right down for a nap. The next day she'll fuss over 2-3 oz, whine because she wants to be held and then take a 20 minute catnap and be ready to eat all over again. Let him work it out, you have to let them eat when they want to since they're still developing. I'm going back to work soon, too, so I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there and enjoy your baby's first Christmas!!!

Hi N... he's only 10 weeks old. While it's true that some babies do sleep through the night at that age, not all do. Every baby is differnet as you are findingn out. My first slept through at 8 weeks. My second not till 9 months!! As for increasing his formula amount, if he is consistently taking 5 ounces, increase it by half an ounce and see if he takes that.. every 3 to 4 hours is still normal for his age.. he's a newborn!! don't rush him.. You'll miss this stage when it's over!! good luck!!! h ave your husband get up during the night with him to help too!!

N.,
Not much I can do except say that at 10 weeks (now 11) he is doing what he is supposed to do. You are responding the way you are supposed to respond. You might try having a friend or family member give you relief in the afternoons so you can get a nap.

Don't worry about being overweight until after they hit the age 2 marker (or unless he maxes out on the charts!) Fats, vitamins, proteins are all part of what he needs to GROW - and his growing is going to take time on his part, and food and work on your part.

He isn't a little man. He is a baby - I know it sounds funny, but you can't think like an adult with his diet - it just doesn't work.

He was also early - which means I believe he has an adjusted age, though he may 'catch up' so to speak. That may mean nothing, or it might just mean he's got to catchup to his actual age (missing 3 weeks in the womb might or might not be a big deal in development).

I can't tell if he is breastfed or not; if he's up in the middle of the night at this age, it is hunger (he's only 10 weeks) because breastmilk is digested very easily, as well as comfort (well, the womb is nice, dark, warm, and comfy, as well as the best hammock in the world). Food is not a predictor of sleep, either.

I just read back and it sounds like I'm all over the place! Really, your son is still adjusting to his time outside his comfort zone, too. All babies are different. All very trite things to say when you are dealing with exhaustion, I know, but things will get better.

Every day is going to be different. Cherish every moment you have to hug, cuddle, rock and be with your babe. I know I heard that a lot when my son was born - and it has started to come true. He is 16 months now, and we're working on discipline now. I would have thought it would start MUCH later.

So, Good LUCK! and know that you are on the right road, you're just finding how many curves are in it.

M.

Hi N.
Hey, he is only 10 wks old and he was early. My twins were born at 37 weeks and no one thought they should sleep through the night til at least 4 mos. Also no baby is typical or average. They don't go by the book. Some things depend on how big they are. Our grandson weighs in at 18'2" at 4 mos, and they are thrilled that he sleeps 2 --4 hour stretches a night. They both work and are thrilled for this "break" through the night.
Our twins were 5'11" and 6'8" so they were not tiny, although tiny compared to my older children who were born at 8'4"and 8'15". Oldest slept through the night at 10 days, younger son never slept through the night, twins -- one did and one never did. Does that fit with the book?
I took younger son to MD because I was so exhausted and he only slept 2 hours in 24, MD said he was fine and guess he was because he never slept more than that. Today he is a lawyer married with our only grandchild. The girls are in college. The one that never slept, loves dorm life as there is always something happening. The other chose to live at home. Our oldest still requires 10-12 hours nightly as a college coach.
You really can't go by the book or what others say, you must adjust to their schedule. I guess if I were you and I wanted sleep I would bath him later and see if that helped him to sleep later. Slowly adjusting his schedule to 9:30 bedtime then perhaps you could go to bed shortly after and sleep til ? and maybe it would be a straight stretch for you.
As far as increasing the amount, I just put an extra oz. in the bottle, and when they got down to drinking it I added another oz. always having some in the bottle so I knew they were full, and would not take more.
God bless you and your lovely family.
K. SAHM married 38 years --- adult children 37,32 and 18.

N.,
Slow down, your 10 and 8 year old's are in school during the day, take the afternoon nap on the couch before they get home. You have a 10 week old so tell PTO you are taking maternity leave and as for the house do just the basics. I used to designate one day each week per room, except for the kitchen which was an everyday ordeal. For example Mondays were to strip and make beds and I would vacuum the bedrooms then, Tuesdays I did the living room, Wednesdays I did the dining room, Thursdays I did one or 2 of the bedrooms, Fridays I did another bedroom, Saturdays I did the bathrooms and my bedroom, and Sundays was my day of rest. Of course everyday I would run the vacuum through the house without moving furniture, quite clean the bathrooms, and damp mop the kitchen floor every night. It sounds like a lot but once you get the hang of it it only takes an hour each day per room and another 45 minutes to do the superficial stuff. When the kids were off from school I would lay on the couch and rest while they played. Your number one priority has to be the baby, your family, and yourself, the housework can wait, it will be there tomorrow.
Hugs,
T.

Give him time. It took my son until he was 5 months old to sleep through the night. Her cetainly wasn't ready before then. Once the doctor said that his weight is okay to stop the night feedings, do it gradually. We cluster fed at night (2 feedings within 2-4 hours) and one later feeding (around 10-11) then we would try to give him a pacified when he woke up aroudn 2 and before you knew it, he was okay from 10pm until 5am. Then it gets better. I went back to work when we were still doing night feedings and I seemed to function. Don't worry, at the office everyone will understand if you yawn once or twice.

Good luck!

You must have either had really good sleepers for your first two, or just forgot what it's like to have a baby, because 10 weeks is certainly not too old to be waking up every three hours! I wouldn't be surprised if you have another few months of that. He needs to eat that often. At this stage, you need to get him milk whenever he wants it, and not try to dictate in any way how much or how often he gets it. And NO RICE CEREAL! That's not the kind of nutrition his body needs right now, and will result in him drinking less milk, which IS what he needs.

I think that's too young to sleep through the night for most babies. There are a few select babies that will do it, so maybe you were luck with your first two, but I think most don't. My daughter didn't sleep through the night until like 5 1/2 months. She's 9 months now, and still wakes up some nights. At that age I think he's probably still hungry, and I wouldn't give him water either. Just expect to be sleep deprived. I had to go back to work full time at 8 weeks, so I understand, it's hard to walk around like an exhausted zombie, especially with 2 other children, but it will pass, and then you'll probably miss it.

10 weeks is way to young to be sleeping through the night. None of my 4 slept through the night before at least 3 months. My oldest didn't do it until 18 months.

Don't give him water yet. You may be double guessing everything this doctor tells you if he suggests water at such a young age. When your son starts crying for more after one bottle is gone, that is when you increase the amount you give him. 37 wk babies are considered full term. I have 2 of them, and they were planned c-sections. So there's no need to adjust his age, because it won't affect his schedule for sleep or feedings.

He is to young to sleep through the night, or go with out a bottle as well. About 4-6 months my daughter slept about 5-6 hours and that was through the night. Don't give him cereal he is way to young, and wont sleep any different. No water either, that is not any nutrients for him. If you have well water, you need to use bottled water. Or get the well tested. I think a little to young yet. I know what you mean though about sleep, we are all wishing this and wish they slept all day and night.lol But, they don't, my 15 month old gets up once in a while. I can do everything to sure she doesn't and it doesn't make a difference, hang in there. Take care.

Hi N.,

Your 10 week old is still very, very young and needs that formula for nutrition. My son and daughter didn't sleep through the night until about 4-5 months. Of course, as they got older, the stretch of time between feedings did increase. But, at 10 weeks old, I will still getting up every 2-3 hours. My husband stepped up to the plate, I went to bed very early (when my daugther did) and my husband took care of my son at night. It was the only thing that worked for us - and it seemed to be the longest stretch of sleep for her.

I think you should try to get in a calm routine with your son at night, cater to his needs (there are still growth spurts at your son's age) by giving him formula when he needs it. Take it one day at a time, and know that it will get better.......

Good luck

10 weeks old is too young to sleep through the night, especially since he was 3 weeks early- you have to think of him as a 7 week old. Sleeping through the night is actually considered 6 hours straight- not all night long. Make sure he is napping enough during the day, but don't let him sleep longer than 3 hours straight during the day or he won't sleep for any long stretches at night. Try feeding him more often during the day- especially in the late afternoon- around 4 or so to "tank up" for the evening. Remember that every 3 hours means 3 hours from the time you start feeding, not the end, so if you start feeding him at 12, then he should eat again at 3, even if it took him an hour to eat.
Don't give him cereal in the bottle- his system is not mature enough to digest it and it could actually cause stomach disturbances that wake him up and even food allergies. He should not have anything but breast milk or formula until he is 6 months old!
I also don't like your doctor's advice about giving water to such a young baby. He needs nourishment at night still. I would seriously consider getting a new pediatrician! Don't worry about him getting overweight- he's still a newborn! Just breastfeed him or give him a bottle when he wakes up.
Also keep the lights off or as dim as possible at night. When he wakes up for feedings, keep the light off except for a small night light to feed him or change him. In the morning when he wakes up around 6 or so, open the curtains and let in the sunlight. Take him for a walk outside early if you can, or if not keep him in bright lights and keep the house brightly lit during the day until around 6 pm or so. You want to set his internal clock so that he knows the difference between day and night.
You are going to have to wait it out. He may have one longer stretch of sleep for 4-5 hours, but that is the most you can ask from him.

Your expectaions are alittle high. As mine were because everybody I talked to always said that by 6-10 weeks their child was sleeping through the night. Yeah right!!!! My son just turned 5 months today and still does not sleep through the night. However he is getting better with long stretches of time.now he sleeps about 4 hours (5 if we are lucky)My pediatrition said no to water. Said that he does not need water and that was last month (at his 4 month visit) so I can't see your child at 10 weeks needing water. We tried the rice in a bottle thinking that he would sleep through the night (everyone told us this worked) but it did not work he was still up every 3 hours like clock work!!! Plus it gave him gas pains. During the day he can't seem to go more than 3 hours without having to eat unless he is napping....So my best advice is stick with it, he will eventually start to sleep longer, and don't give him water.

My son was born at 10.5 pounds and didn't sleep for more than 3-4 hours at a stretch for almost 4 months because their stomachs are still tiny and don't hold much. It takes time and there is no point in trying to rush it.

I'm sorry to say but many babies don't sleep through the night until they are older, my first didn't until she was 6 months old. Every baby is different. Try giving a feeding right before you go to bed a couple hours later before he really wakes up and see if that helps. I think the studies show that cereal really doesn't work for most babies, anyway. and they have some great soothing sleepy time baths on the market too that might work, but some babies get more stimulated from a bath so it depends on your LO. a great resource aside from this site if you are not already on there is Babycenter.com. Good luck

10 weeks is still very young! I don't know who told you that your child should be sleeping longer by now, but there's no way to make a generalization like that. Every baby is different, and most babies are not sleeping more than 3-4 hours at a time at 10 weeks. My son is one of the best sleepers around, and has been sleeping through the night since 4 months. But before that, he was still waking up every 2-3 hours to nurse, and sometimes more often!

Don't worry- it will change! Put her to bed very early (between 6:00-7:00), and try to put him down for a nap after 2 hours or less of being awake throughout the day. His naps will get better as he gets older, as will his night sleep. :)

PS "Sleeping through the night" means 5 hours or longer. It's crazy, but that's how doctors define it! My son does a good 12 hour stretch now, but it wasn't always like that...

Hi N.,

Every three hours sounds very normal, healthy and reasonable to me. Ten weeks is extremely young, even for a full term baby, and your son was three weeks early! Make a plan with your husband to take over a feeding or two to give you a solid block of sleep, or at least take turns. Assure him that it's only temporary. In a couple of months your little guy will be sleeping six plus hours at a stretch. Remember "through the night" is about six hours.

All the research I read when my daughter was born said NOT to put cereal in a baby's bottle. Not only does it not work, but there are risks as well. It is not the kind of nutrition your baby needs right now. Getting some extra feedings in the evening hours may help but he sounds right on track to me. His tummy is tiny and needs constant refueling.

Good luck!

Hey N.,

I completely understand where you are coming from my son ate every two and a half hours I thought I would fall on my face. I would feel like I just finished feeding him and he was us again. I used to determine if he needed more milk by adding an extra ounce once he finished the original amount. If he took it then I would begin making bigger bottles. If he refuses then he was full and is just not ready to go longer stretches yet. I know I am going to get slack for this but my son is now 24 and I gave cereal at around your sons age and he did increase his sleep from 11 to 5 and then eventually went through the night. My son was eating about 5 tablespoons of cereal by the time he was six months old with fruit. I know things have changed and today's recommendations state that you are not even supposed to introduce solids until six months. I must tell you I am not a big fan of all of these studies because what I did is not longer healthy and in a few years what you are told to do now will not be recommended. Things change from week to week it is so confusing. So I say my kids survived, I survived, you survived all babies are different and you have to do what is best for your family. Doctor recommendations and all of these new guidelines are general guidelines. Children are not one size fits all just as adults are not. You have to go with your gut and do what is right for your baby. I am not suggesting you feed your baby like I fed both of mine. This is just my personal experience. However I know many moms who do feed before 6 months because they were living with a constant bottle in their babies mouth. I never gave cereal with night time bottle I made it very thin and gave it on a spoon at around 6 or so and then gave a night time bottle at around 7:30 he would sleep until 11(which was great because my husband would do that feeding) He would get one more bottle and then sleep until 5 or 6. Eventually he stopped getting up for the 11 o'clock bottle and slept through. One other suggestion is if he takes a pacifier try to give the pacifier first before feeding in the middle of the night. My secretary did it with her baby who is now 3 months old and sleeps through the night already. I would try to let him eat as much as he wants during the day and as often and then maybe he will be able to go longer at night. I wouldn't worry about cereal making him fat I think the formula has much more fat content then cereal and besides babies need fat in their first few years for brain development. I hope this helps and you can get some rest. Good luck and Happy Holidays!!