Hi C.. You're getting lots of great advice and I'll just sort of reiterate here but my son also has silent reflux, so I'm not as much help with the vomiting, but I did go through all of the frustrations of not knowing quite what to do! I'll tell you what we did but do know that it does get better. Our son is 7 1/2 months now and while we do still have him on medication, it's so much more manageable now!
Two websites that I found to be enormously helpful were:
http://www.infantreflux.org/ - scroll down a bit and on the left there is a link for the message boards and there are tons of parents with tons of great advice on there.
http://www.marci-kids.com/ - lots of information about medications and dosage (there is even a dosage calculator where you enter your babies weight, age and it suggests dosage).
I decided to exclusively breast feed. We tried all of the formulas but they didn't really seem to help and some of them are SO expensive. That said, if you breast feed, like others have said, you have to be really strict about what you eat and I know it's just too much of a drag for a lot of people. But if I was very careful about cutting out dairy, citrus, chocolate, caffeine, cruciferous veggies, and tofu (I could get away with soy milk but not tofu), oh, and wine if you drink it (basically just think of anything that could give an adult heartburn and cut that out!)... I found his reflux calmed down enormously.
Also - the suggestion of not patting to burp really helped us. Patting only stirs up the bubbles and causes more gas (at least for us). If you massage up the back, especially focusing on the area about an inch below the shoulder blades, this stimulates the nerves that aid in digestion and it really brings up the burps in one big air pocket instead of lots of little ones. The first time I did it I didn't think it would work and he was in so much pain, but it works so much better!
We kept his crib/bassinet mattress at a 30 degree angle. There are suggestions on the inflantreflux.org website about how to build a "nest" under the crib sheet to keep them from sliding down. This helps a lot until they get really mobile and then there just seems to be no way to keep them in place! We just recently had to lower the mattress - we tried going all the way flat but the reflux got worse, so now we only have it at about 5-10 degree angle and that seems to work just fine and he doesn't slide around either. But for a while, do try to keep the angle at roughly 30 degrees (think 6 inches of height on one side of the crib).
I'm sure you've heard all of this but keep them upright for a good 30 minutes after they eat. It's tough if you still feed in the middle of the night (which is something that is recommended for reflux babies -smaller, more frequent meals), but it does make a difference. Sometimes, I even found that laying him down to change his diaper shortly after feeding him caused acid to come up. So I'd always try to make sure to change him before I fed and then only do it if I really needed to within that 30 minute window after feeding.
As far as medication, we had him on both Zantac and Prevacid for a bit. It really took almost a month to see a difference with the Prevacid but then it made all of the difference in the world! The biggest way to make it effective is to time the dosing. Make sure you give it on an empty stomach (they recommend at least an hour after feeding, but sometimes we only did 30 minutes and it still seemed to work) and then you have to wait at least 30 minutes until you feed them again. There is also a new medication called Zegerid (you can read about it on that Marci Kids website) that doesn't require timing but we haven't tried it yet as the Prevacid seems to work just fine.
Anyhow, feel free to send me a message if you need. Hang in there - it DOES get better!!