Help with Potty Training - De Soto,MO

Hi M.,
I agree with Kellie try different things and see what works,he will let you know when he is ready.You may try a way to make it fun for him.Good Luck

Hi, my name is K.. I have 3 grown children, 28, 22, and 20 (one girl and two boys) with one granddaughter. My middle child was the hardest to teach to go potty! Nothing worked UNTIL HE WAS READY! As you are aware, each child is different and what works for one may not always work for the other....HOWEVER, the one thing that did was putting cheerios in the toilet each time before he would go potty. We told him to aim at those to see if he could sink them - so it became a game for him which he wanted to play instead of something that he was forced to do. It also helped that my husband took him to go potty while he was going potty. That was also one of those aha moments for him.

We also had a very difficult time with my granddaughter. She would scram so badly that she would make herself vomit. She was afraid that she was going to fall in the toilet as the water was swishing around. I found a book online that I ordered for her that actually flushed when she pushed a button. Eventually, she went to the bathroom all by herself and told me that she'd gone potty ALL BY HERSEF! She did still have a few accidents but they became fewer and fewer as time went on. We didn't get rid of the book until she was completely trained.

I used the 3 day potty training book. You can get it on line at 3daypottytraining.com. It works if you follow the book. I have had 4 other friends that have used it and have all been successful.

I think that your mother-in-law is correct. Sometimes you have to start with just catching it in order to get them to stay on the potty and be happy. We had a terrible time potty training our middle son. He still wasn't potty trained when he was three, we were getting ready to move across the country in a couple of months so I wanted him trained before we moved as I had a one year old also, keep in mind that they didn't have disposable diapers then. We bought a wooden potty chair with arms and my husband got a board that layed across the arms and drilled holes in the top and put screws in them and handed him a screwdriver. It worked because it kept him there until we did something and he was happy. He was completely potty trained by the time we moved.

Good Luck
G.

Your mother in law might be kind of right. With my son, he didn't like sitting on the potty in the bathroom, so eventually we figured out that he would poop in his closet at night before bed. So guess where I put the potty chair in the evening and sure enough, he started going in the potty every night before bed. Once he got comfortable, we eventually moved into the bathroom, but each step was an adjustment for him. And my daughter didn't like using a potty chair at all. She preferred one of those potty seats that sits on your regular toilet, so we let her pick out her own seat (Dora), since she was using her brother's, but he didn't like that and everything was good. She potty-trained quickly after that. Kids are so different--some of them respond to treats and/or special underwear(like my oldest daughter), some it's location (like my son) and for some it's just being a big girl/boy (like my younger daughter) or it could be something else all together. Unfortunately its a guessing game, but I've found that once you get it figured out, it goes fairly smoothly after that. Good luck!

You've gotten some good tips already but I wanted to relay the story of my daughter, which shows that you never know what is going through your child's head. My daughter, who's now 28, started peeing on the toilet by age 2; pooping was a whole other matter. She hid behind chairs, ran from me, and generally would not sit on the toilet when she had to poop. At age 2 1/2, I'd had enough. I took her in the bathroom and as distressed as she was, I told her she had to sit on the potty and poop. She did, then got this big smile on her face and said, "That didn't hurt!" Where she'd gotten the idea it would hurt, I don't know, but that was the end of her potty training. (So "catching" him may work.)

We always let our kids watch us go to the bathroom; they would want to sit on their potty chairs at the same time.

When we were potty training our son, we were doing several things simultaneously so I'm not sure which one worked or if he really needed them collectively to be able to learn. We bought a potty training dvd entitled "Potty Power", we bought the diapers that once he peed in them, he felt a cold sensation which was suppose to be uncomfortable and we also gave him a treat (red vines) every time he used the potty correctly.

The "Potty Power" movie helped our son like his underwear because it was a big kid thing. Maybe if you explain to him about the underwear being for big kids and diapers are for babies and make it a big deal to go out and have him pick out his underwear, he may respond better.

Good luck.

I'm not sure what you have tried so far, but did you let him pick out his own underwear from the store? And when my son was three we were sending him to school also in the fall. He surprised me when I told him I signed him up for preschool, but he had to go potty in the big toilet before he could go. He immediatly starting talking about going to school, and was very excited, we went to the store and picked out underwear, and the next morning (his choice) we threw the diapers away and started our journey. This was a child who refused to go in the potty chair.
The only other suggestion I have is maybe forgoing the "potty chair" and using an insert with a stool in the BIG Potty. He took to the big toilet much better.
Really it has to be his decision, or it won't work, so the key is finding what he's "into" and running with it.
A friend of mine had a "big girl pants" party, when she went 5 days wearing big girl pants then she got a little party with a few friends.
Good Luck!

Hi M., potty training isn't always easy. Our eldest son who is 33 now was trained in 2 days at 19 months, our youngest 31 took forever. He was almost 4.
We are working on our 3 yr old grandson also with the poopy part. He starts pre-school in Aug too. He can do the pee-pee part really well most of the time at least tries on his own. Has a time with snaps on his jeans though.

What I did with him was every time he pee peed he got High fives happy dance with a smiley face drawn on a small dry erase board on the wall outside the bathroom. He uses a potty seat with Elmo on it. I took him to pp about once an hour we sang songs or I sat on the floor and read him books. Now he can stand up on his step stool, his aim isn't always the greatest ;)

Dr told us the poopy part would come in time, don't make a big deal of it. First time he pooped in potty his daddy bought him a small john deer toy tractor. That can back fire at times though, he thought he would get a new toy every time he pooped in potty. :)) Now when he poops I do give him a special treat, still high fives happy dance and we call both momma & daddy at work so he can tell them he was big boy.
He wears pull up at nap time and night still. If he hasn't pooped in potty before nap time he usually gets up from his nap with poopy pull up. Which last week he tried to change on his own.

We had told him if he didn't go pp and po in potty he couldn't go to school. He got to visit the Pre-school last week and is so excited, when we got home he had to pp and after said I can go to school now Nana. I told him he still had some things to learn and yes he was being a really big boy. So now everything is, I am learning so I can go to school. Yes he talks really well and understands more then anyone an fathom. I let him pick out his own cloths for the day, he loves lighting McQueen and Mator underwear.

Our other daughter in law sang a push it out song to our oldest gr son when he was 3 yr old. That was funny, went to Wal-mart he had to go pp but wanted to go in stale alone while momma stood at the door.( he insisted ) all of a sudden he started singing the push it out song. the entire restroom burst out in giggles. Push it out push it out Way Out.

Can ya tell i love my gr kids. Anyway just be consistent and try to make it fun for him and you. If he can't go tell him OK maybe next time. Cause your my big boy now too.

Good luck M. it will happen just takes time.
K. aka Nana to 5

hiya i am getting ready(mentally lol) as my littlest is now 28 months old but really she has no interest and is verbally delayed. I do know that with my elder 2 my daughter now 23 responded at nearly 3 with her nana promising her big girl panties with frills... and lots lots of praise, my son 4 years younger refused all my efforts so again we tried someone else training and it was successful by my close neighbor who sometimes would playdate watch my son. I do remember though that the basics would be sudden and in a matter of about a week they would get the hang of it.

So, I didnt actually train them but I did however train my neice when she was a toddler it was while a visit during the holidays and they came from out of town. Her Mom was extremely pleased, sometimes i think it takes someone other than main caregiver to get them to want to do it everytime.

With my youngest I think it will be a control issue as she is very very headstrong so I am waiting for her clues I have even tried training pants and she has started to notice her pees then... but one last note... the pullups do not help matters one bit and make cleanup even messier(in my opinion)

well good luck i have geared up and bought stickers and i have 3 potty types one chair like, one baby bjorn and one that sits om toilet but she doesnt like any yet... guess you can say I m ready way before she is ready... i even bought her about 20 pairs of cute undies. she is just not ready, i do know that in my husband country they are never very far from their babies and so they are so close in holding them etc and that helps them "catch" when their child needs to go... so most are potty trained. or imitate their parents without much instruction.

I know just how frustrated you must feel. We just went threw the same thing with our 3 1/2 year old. I was so worried that he was never going to be potty trained that I would tease myself and say I would be changing his diaper at age 12! I spoke to his Dr about it and he told me not to worry until he was going on four and still not wanting anything to do with it.
I swear the minute we gave up and started not to push the issue he started wanting to go on his own. We bought "peter potty" (it is a urinal made just there size) He thought that he was so cool using it. It has been since Feb. 26 that he has not worn a diaper!!!
You still have a while before Aug. so there is still hope! Every child is different and do things at different ages. My advise is to try getting "petter potty",tell him what it is and show him where it is and leave the rest to him! Also have him go with his dad to get the same kind of underwear he wears.
I wish you the best of luck!!!
~J.~

Wait and don't say anything about it for a month or so. Then ask if ready to sit on the potty yet. My daughter is going through the same thing and I'm in the waiting period right now. She just turned 3 already. She would totaly freak if I tried to get her on the potty. Earlier when I did get her to sit on the potty she would wait a while and say she's done and would not 'go' potty but get off and before I could get a diaper on her she would pee on the floor, like, 30 seconds later. It's frustrating but if you wait until they are ready you could do it in a week. My first son was 3½ and it took him a week (he had to pee in his underwear in order for it to make a difference). My second son was a little later but enjoyed the "Sticker Chart" and he did great in about a week and a half. I thought my daughter would go ealier than her brothers, but guess we'll see. But instead of YOU being potty trained (taking them every 30 minutes) you can just wait until THEY are ready to be potty trained and it's really no effort at all. Oh, and I am not beyond bribery either (marshmellows is our treat). Just don't let the outside pressure get to you, they will do it when they are ready so just wait a little.

Hello,i am a mother of 3 ages 6,7,8.Yes they are all different and you have to deal with one thing at a time.
I know this sounds strange,but maybe try no undies.or find some boxer style underwear.you could say ,uh oh! mommy can`t find a diaper slip on these shorts and mommy will go find one.
If he goes for it, leave the shorts on and see what he does.
If he potties his pants,thats alright maybe next time.My eight year old still wears pull ups to bed.His sisters have not since late 3`s or 4.I am not concerned yet.Let us know how it goes.Good luck!

I am struggling with the same thing! My son is 2 and wants NOTHING to do with the potty! He will tell me when he has to pee and goes yucky after he poops! He wears the big boy underware and sits and pees right through them. I don't get it either. I know another mom who waited until they were almost 4 and they picked it up immediatly. I think every child is differant and he will pick it up when he is ready. I believe if you force it then they will not go even more. My son now is to the point where he will HOLD IT until u put a diaper on him. We just let him go when he's ready b/c it too is a screamn' fit. Hopefully someone has some better advice, just wanted to let u know u weren't the only one with that issue! Good luck.
M. H

You need to make it fun But the chair in the room were you are and put a little table by it with book and toys for hem to play with. let hem yel, but talk to him . tell him how good he is,let him know that he is a big boy .He is testing you to see how for he can go .you have to set atime to put him on the chair one or two hours.he will yel ,he has trained you well I yel ypu let me up. M. of three boys 31,29,26. from the old school.the M. is the boss.

My daughter was the same way. Would pee on the floor just to spite me if I put panties on her. Finally I decided to set aside a week and do it?!? I put the little potty in her bathroom and brought in a portable DVD player. Your mother in law is on to something as I was given the same advice. She would sit and watch her movie and color. I got one of those TV trays for her to put over her lap. I could tell when she really needed to go and wouldn't let her get up. I gave lots of moral support, but she was angry and stayed that way until she finally did her business. Then....she was extremely proud of herself. It took 3 days of back and forth to the bathroom and then on the 3rd day she declared that she would like her princess panties put on. (let your child pick them out in the store, it makes a huge difference) I can't say that we didn't have any accidents after that, but we were officially potty trained and just in the nick of time for preschool. She started a month later. Good luck! Strong willed children are a little scary to train, but you can do it!

ok so have u tried having your oldest help out. i too have 3 boys. 7 5 and 18months. my oldest took FOREVER to potty train. i thought we would never beable to do it. but we did it just weeks before he started preschool. but my middle one was potty trained just 6months after his older brother. he wanted to be just like his big brother he idiolizes him. if your boys have that kind of relationship then u should try having your middle go with your oldest when he goes to the potty and have him say look its cool your big brother is doing it. i would also try having him visit the school and see how much fun they have. then tell him that he cant go to school until he can go potty in the big boy toilet. good luck

how bout a rubber duckie in the toilet? mabybe dad would show im how to play shoot the duck,or something like that. to me the thing that's important is to find what makes them want to. God bless.

I had trouble potty training my yougnest son. I tried all the different ways, until finally, my husband suggested that he go into the bathroom when he (hubby) went. It worked like a charm. He just needed encouragement from Dad.

Hi, M.! There's no one way to potty train. My oldest was 3 when he trained & my youngest basicly trained himself before he was two. My mom had an in home daycare all my life,so I have been around kids alot. Some of the things that have worked are getting a smartie, m&m, or a coin when they sit on the potty, then you up to when they actually use the potty (they don't get a whole package, they get one), etc. I have seen boys get broke using a tin coffee can, they like the noise it make & thinks it's neat. (it encourages good aim, also) Have you tried having him sit with his clothes on so he's not scared? Make sure you give the little one extra praise when he uses the potty or makes an attempt, but don't say anything to the 3 year old. It may be a "middle child syndrome" thing, which will be tough to work with. Sometimes summer is easier to train because they have less clothes on. I would even suggest letting him run around in just a swimsuit, it' not underwear & he's going to realize he has to go somewhere (even if it's peeing on a tree/bush, if you have one in your yard) At his age he doesn't need to sit and accidently go, he's old enough to make the connection & to sense the feeling of when he has to go & start realizing it. You could also keep a chart in the bathroom with reasonable rewards for when he does comply. Do this for the little one, also, although he may not understand all of it I'm sure he's smart & will start grasping the concept. I know this isn't alot of help, but hopefully something will work for you.

Hello M. B. I have a 5 year old and during the time of potty training I made a special dance and song just for his great potty time. I danced around like a crazy person, clapping and praising him with my loudest voice. All family members outside of the house knew the song and was called to assist with singing. There was also this little button, like the easy button on the commercial, we received thru one of the pamper purchases with Dora on it and we used that. Also, instead of sitting on the pot i had him stand like a big boy and he loved it. Hope this helps. A. T.

M., try sitting him on the commode backwards. He can see what he is doing and you will probably be surprised.

As much as I try to avoid mother in law advice I do think putting the potty in front of the TV is a good idea. Just the act of peeing in the potty is all you really are looking for the first time. And since he seems so terrified maybe watching TV will calm him down. Or you could try to read to him while he sits there. Also if you have any friends that have children that are potty trained try to have your son play at their house and watch them go. That was all it took for my daughter and my friends son to get it. Seeing another child do it. And if you are comfortable with it, running around naked never hurt any child so let him "air out" on a day that you are really trying to potty train him. And there is always the tried and true of letting him know that you will give him some type of treat if he does go.

have you tried pull ups? It would kinda give him the diaper feel but he's also going to know he's wet more and not like that too. My son would go change his pull up himself. Be prepared, can be kinda messy if he tries to do that. and they are more expensive too.

M.,
I am in the process of potty training my 3 yr old as well. I have sought a lot of advice and one is to just not put anything on. You might need to wait until the summer to really do it when the weather is warm. My daughter was also scared of the potty, and what I felt was helpful was when she was around girls her age and older who were using the potty and she saw them and it seemed cooler and less intimidating. We have had our ups and downs. It seems like the more I push the harder it is. I am curious to read other advice as I am still needing help too!

Depending on location, maybe all of us having potty problems can get together at whoever has the house that is biggest and we can have a potty party. We can undress the kids, bring our own potties, and a few DVD's and see what happens? I have the Potty Time Elmo video....

I am not sure about the TV idea (we try to keep the tube off in our house), but I think "just catching it" is a great start to potty training. If you catch it and they're having fun (we had a bucket of toys just for on the potty), then you praise them and they're learning what they're supposed to do there. My mom said her younger brother always had a tv tray (if you use the big toilet) so he could play or draw or whatever. I also agree with just putting them bare bum or in underwear, if it's warm keep him outside or keep him not on carpet and keep the potty very close. If he doesn't have less accidents and more pottys in the potty, you might wait a month, a lot can change physically and mentally in just a month. I wouldn't punish, and it seem in our house, your approval is enough reward. Also, some kids resist becoming a big boy or girl. My daughter went for awhile saying she never wanted to grow up, so watch how he reacts if you call him a big boy, maybe he still wants to be your baby (especially with a 1 year old around the house) and is resisting because of that...

Okay, I know I sound bossy, but I am just trying to get my thoughts out. Every kid is different, and I just hope something on here helps you out!!

K.

My best advise is simple, wait! If he is that upset about it then forcing the issue because of preschool will only hurt the situation. I forced it on my daughter because of day care and it took 2 years and she still wears an overnighter at the age of 6. I let me son choose at 3-1/2 and it took 4 days and he never has an accident even at night.

Hi M.,
I have to say that I agree with your mother in-law. My youngest was beat everytime he was on the pot by his step-father. I found that if I had him sit on the pot while doing something he enjoyed then he came to see that it's not a bad thing. Upon him feeling comfortable sitting on it then we began working him up to trying to sit on it upon him feeling that he needed to go. I started him off by my reading to him while sitting next to him on the pot, along with him watching t.v. while sitting on the pot. These we found to have helped him calm down and not see it as a bad thing. Good luck!

I potty trained both of my kids in the spring. They just ran around with no pants on all the time at home. They really didn't like the pee running down their legs with the chilly spring air. It didn't take long for them to know when to sit on the potty. I also brought the potty chair outside. But, since he's a boy (I have girls) he might really like going on trees. I'd try that. Have his big brother or dad show him how to do it. Maybe he just wants to go standing up, and thats why he hates the potty chair.

I think I told you about trying Cheerios...did that not work for you? If your not the same person let me know & I'll tell it to you. Good luck & God Bless!