Help with My Daughters Hair! - Orange,CA

Updated on March 30, 2010
S.J. asks from Orange, CA
18 answers

Hi, my daughter is 12 and has curly hair, (ringlets), and is shoulder length. It's beautiful, but the weird thing is about 6 months ago, the texture has kind of changed. After she washes it, and i go to brush it, i notice that the hair is stiff and shiny, reminds me of her American Girl doll hair, There are tangles, but the thing that puzzles me is that it seems oily and dry at the same time and it's super stiff. I have tried a few different shampoos/conditioners for her, including 3-min deep conditioner, leave in conditioner. Any suggestions? What type of hair is it? Oily, dry, normal? Is there a specific shampoo/cond i should try?

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B.S.

answers from Honolulu on

Puberty completely changed my hair. I had straight shiny hair and a year later it was 3 shades darker and wavy. When mine was on the fritz, I couldn't use regular conditioner; instead I used regular baby shampoo and Infusium-23 Leave In Conditioner. THis was the only combo that worked for me. Good luck!

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C.N.

answers from Honolulu on

Try Biolage anti-dandruff shampoo and conditioner. We get it at Supercuts. Use it 2 times a week. The hairstylist said that the condition is due to hormones. After a couple times of using it, I notice the difference in my pre-teen's hair.

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R.J.

answers from San Diego on

Ahhhh.... the curly hair blues. (I've got ringlets, too. You're daughter is one up on me though... my mum wouldn't let me use conditioner).

What's happening with her hair is that it's losing the baby soft/ brushable curls and becoming "normal" curly hair. You're both lucky, as this usually happens several years earlier... but gets worse with puberty, hands down. This is the time where you realize that not brushing ringletts in the shower EVERY SINGLE DAY... means matts/dreadlocks... and that brushing it dry will mean TONS of breakage as well as Wild Woman of Borneo hair.

Personally I use Tres Seme Silky Soft, or Natural (whatever happens to be on sale) shampoo and conditioner. More expensive (like Kerastase) ones work better... but at $30 a bottle, are outside of my budget, and there's not that much difference in the end result. AVOID Pantene or any others like pantene (the whole "pro-vitamin" schtuff fill up the creases that run down the center of curly hair, make it feel TERRIBLE after a couple of weeks, and cause a ton of breakage).

General Ringlett Care:

- Wash and condition every morning
- Only brush while in the shower with conditioner still in
- "Style" in a general sense, while still in the shower (aka run your fingers through it pushing it into where you generally want it to be)
- Do not towel dry/ brush/ or generally mess with once you get out of the shower.
- Use enough product to thoroughly saturate the hair. Typically schmear and scrunch.
- Twist a few strands around your fingers (5 or 6) for "perfect" separated ringlets... typically around the crown, to separate the top curls from the middle curls.
- Air dry or diffuse (or use a hairdryer on lowest setting while leaning over OR upside down BUT have a towel held behind the hair being dried, to keep the curls from blowing around/ being blown apart/frizzing).
- DON'T mess with it as it's drying.

My fav products: (Fair warning, if you're washing every day expect to go through any of these in 2 weeks or less)

For on the cheap:
1) Garnier Springing Curls Mousse ($4). I use about an orange sized ball of foam for shoulder length curls. Dries shiny and gorgeous... but after it's dry needs to be scrunched to get rid of any "crunch", although there's usually not a lot. Dries much much much faster than cheap gels (like LA Looks). Hair tends to be "crisp" rather than "crunchy".

2) LA LOOKS PINK... never never use BLUE, as it doesn't actually hold the curls, so the blue tends towards a lot of frizz ($3), This kind of gel is very "crunchy". Of course, you always get rid of the crunch by scrunching it after it's dry.

Pricey... but Ooooh La La.
Okay, so with the above mousse the curl is really pretty, but you can't run your fingers through them. With these uber-expensive gels (at about $100 a month)... once TOTALLY dry, you can actually style/ run your fingers through/ etc. Obviously not run your fingers through like you can with straight hair... but the gentle like of wide fingers through that you can do with baby curls. The curls dry SOFT and shiny, which is kind of the holy grail as far as curls are concerned.

1) Prive Gel + Laminates Gel. ($25 EACH). Squeeze about 1/4 cup of Prive Gel into the palm of your hand for shoulder length curls. Add in about a tablespoon of Laminates Gel. Swirl about with your finger until they're combined. Schmear & Scrunch. Air dry or diffuse.

2) Bumble & Bumble Get Straight Gel + Bumble & Bumble Grooming Cream (ditto $25 EACH). Use about equal amounts of each. First Get Straight Gel (schmear & scrunch & twirl about your fingers) THEN grooming cream. You use about 1/4 cup TOTAL... so 1/8th + 1/8th. The "get straight" doesn't straighten at all... just makes the hair REALLY slippery.

Best
R

2 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

I too have ringlets and have had them since I was a toddler. My routine is different than Riley J.'s. I cannot shampoo my hair everyday or it gets dry. I wash my hair 3 times a week, but I condition everyday. I pat my hair dry with a towel, comb my hair when it is wet (do not comb or brush again), add product, then air-dry (I diffuse only if I have to for time purposes). I use Shaklee shampoo and conditioner. My favorite styling products are from Ouidad.com, they also post how to care for curly hair (adults & children). Ouidad products are not outrageously expensive and they do not make my curls crunchy and stiff. My favorite products are the Climate Control and the Botanical Boost. If your daughter showers at night, in the moring you can pick her hair, spray with water and the Botanical Boost, add Climate Control, then air-dry or diffuse.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

As a life long member of the girly hair club, I agree with everyone about "Curly Girl" and the website www.naturallycurly.com.
Shampoo less, condition more, NEVER brush when its not sopping wet--and then recondition after and leave the conditioner in--even if its not leave in conditioner.
I love DevaProducts and Deva hair cuts (dry haircuts). There are probably trained stylists in your area who are trained in working with curly hair--either Deva or Ouidad. On www.naturallycurly.com you can find a stylist near you.
Good luck!!! I have really curly hair and my mom and grandmother have thin, straight hair so I def. empathize.

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C.F.

answers from Dallas on

Read or borrow "Curly Girl" as Ann D. recommended...some tips from the book include: types of ingredients to look for in buying hair care products that will keep the hair healthy vs. causing damage, shampoo no more often than once per week, leave in conditioner (we condition, rinse, then leave in conditioner), different cute styles that maximize the impact of naturally curly hair, and lots of "home-made treatments"...I think it is worth the investment to buy the book!

Also, the filter for the shower...
My daughter has waist length ringlets and her hair gets a lot of attention - even from strangers!

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K.L.

answers from San Diego on

MIXED CHICKS pair products...period. If you want soft, moisturized, manageable hair....tangle free and shiny....then look them up at http://www.mixedchicks.net/. These ladies are awesome and have plenty of reviews for you to see about their products. They usually send fee samples for you to try if you ask. They really did all of this all on their own. I'm so proud of them. And that is aside from the fact that the product is awesome. I usually purchase the Trio, which is the shampoo, deep conditioner and leave-in conditioner, which really does work as a styling lotion as well. I was a skeptic too, but they proved me wrong the first time I used it. I didn't need anything else besides that leave-in conditioner, and it held my once out of control hair all day long. Just try it for yourself and your daughter. :)

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S.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have curly hair and I have a sister in law who has curly hair and the texture changed for both of us sometime around puberty. I think this is fairly common as I know other curly haired girls that this happened to. With curly hair it's all about trial and error. You'll have to spend time and a bit of money trying to find the right product. And just know that once you find a product that works it may only work for a few months or year and then she'll have to move on to finding a new product. It's the life of the price we pay for having that enviable, beautiful curly hair.
Most important when looking for the right hair product, she needs to buy a creme leave in hair product that says on the bottle that it is for curly hair. It also should say something like it locks the curl or holds the curl while moisturizing. Some products that I like ranging in price are Bumble & Bumble's whole line of moisture products for curly hair (shampoo, conditioner and creme, can be purchased at a salon), Bouncy Curl Definer by ISO, Mixed Chicks(find a store or salon near you at www.mixedchicks.net) leave in conditioner, Marc Anthony's Strictly Curls Curl Envy creme (can buy at CVS). Also, you know to never brush curly hair once it's dried, right? Not a good look and not good for the hair.
There are a lot of products out there and these are a few examples for what to look for.
Also, she should drink lots of water and try taking a vitamins, silica or just a good daily vitamin, but talk to your doctor first before giving any new vitamins to her.
Hope this helps.
Cheers,
S.
P.S. I agree with not washing the hair too much.

S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't have a good answer as far as what shampoo to use, but I'm sure you'll get lots of good suggestions for what to do. I did want to mention that kids' hair will often change during puberty. Fun times.

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L.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Check out Ouidad.com. They only make hair care products for people with curly hair. They even have a kids line. It is great stuff. I have curly hair and so does my daughter, but our textures are different. They have products for all different textures of curly hair.

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

is she washing all the shampoo and conditioner out?. what i suggest is to not use a heavy conditioner if her hair is oily-ish. i would use hair cholesterol everyother day on her hair. its like 8 bucks for a tub of it (at walmart). with shampoo its basically the same thing no matter what brand you get. when it comes to conditioner you really get what you pay for. since your daughter is 12 her hair may be changing do to puberty and such. my little sister has straight hair that is like your daughters and the hair cholesterol and pantene shampoo work for her. she also uses the hair cholesterol every other day

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

Does she swim a lot? It sounds like what happens to my daughter's hair when it has been in a chlorinated pool. If so, you can have a hairdresser do a treatment on it to get the chlorine out.

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I would take her to a hair dresser and see what they recommend. Some times they will give you samples of products to try, then you can go to the store and find something similar for a little cheaper.

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

get a filter on your shower..could be the water..my hair started to break and then i got a filter for my shower at Home Depot ..now its back to being soft and nice..i also use Redkin shampoo or Kiehls ..the filter is around $19 it comes with the attachment and filter then about every 3 months u swap it out ..the replacements are aroud $9 ..totally worth it..also softens skin.

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D.N.

answers from Honolulu on

There's a possibility that it could just be sun damage. It kind of makes it feel like oily straw. I used Mane and Tail SHampoo and conditioner and it worked really well. Also, a silicone based product to help it dry might do some good. Paul Mitchells Skinny Serum works great for that.

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A.D.

answers from Jackson on

Purchase or go to the library & borrow the book "Curly Girl," the information in that book helped my sister & daughter a lot. I hope it helps you & your daughter as well.

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N.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Get a book called Curly Girl by Lorraine Massey. It will give you step by step info and the do's and don'ts. And she has a lot of natural receipes for conditioning and care.

From what you describe, the hair is overwashed and losing its moisture. Cut down on the shampoo, you can wash with conditioner. Only comb in the shower while completely wet, blot/scrunch dry, add conditioner again, the books says you can use regular conditioner, I like Giovanni's stuff and this one I get at trader joes called Nourish Spa Conditioner/balanced moisturizing.

For most products, search on Amazon and read the reviews, people give a lot of good advice. Like Aveda Be Curly Conditioner. But again, I like the trader joes, $2.99 conditioner for a leave in and I alternate with Giovanni Direct Leave in. You can read about Giovanni on Amazon. A lot of curly girls like it.

God Luck... after you get it down, she will love it.

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Z.J.

answers from San Diego on

I had the same problem with my hair. And my little one to and she only nine moths so what I did was use the dove shampoos and conditioner and wash it with baby oil and it work that is frizzy hair but does she put any hair pray or gel,any hair product stop using it and it will go back to it normal life ok let me know how it goes ok hope it does good luck ^_^

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