Help with Ideas on Improving Childs Behavior at School UPDATED

Hi J., I suggest having him be the teachers helper and walk right beside the teacher in the line. Also, have her teach him to keep his hands in his pockets the whole time he's in line. You can also practice this at home, in walmart, or at the grocery store.

If the only trouble is while he's in line, how about talking with the teacher about giving him something to carry while he's in line? For example, if they're going to lunch, he could carry the basket full of brought lunches. Or, if they're going to the library, he could carry the basket full of books. It would take 2 hands, and he wouldn't be able to bother anyone. If the class doesn't currently use a basket for books, maybe the teacher would be willing to adopt the practice in order to help your son. If not, maybe she would work with you to create some kind of something that "needs" to be taken with the class whenever they walk in the hall. Some teachers have a class notebook that travels with the students when they go to other parts of the school (so the art teacher, pe teacher, or whomever can write notes to the classroom teacher about how well the student performed or behaved while they were in that class). Maybe something like that? Maybe you could offer to actually create the thing (whatever it is) in order to save the teacher from having an extra job to do. If a system like this could be put into place, your son would think he is doing a good and responsible deed, which would build his self-esteem and NOT make the problem worse. He'd never need to know it was designed to keep him out of "trouble."

Kids at this age are often impulsive, so there's hope he will grow out of the behavior. I think it would be wise to also continue working on "keeping hands to yourself" and teaching him alternatives to hitting. What else can you do if someone makes you mad, or gets in your way, or takes your turn, or whatever. Little guys sometimes can't think their way through things unless we specifically give them the tools. Role playing at home is a great way to practice, with you being the kid who does something to provoke your son. Or have him practice with his little brother, in role play or for real!

I have taught kindergarten for 16 years and there are always a few kids each year that have to work through this issue. I really agree with the person who said to give him something to hold while in line... I have used this quite often and gotten good results with it. He also needs to have picture cues to help remind him of what to do in line before the class goes somewhere. Take a photo of your son standing with his hands behind his back and have his teacher show him that picture of him doing it "the right way" before they leave the classroom. This will reinforce the positive behavior and remind him that he can do it correctly. I also emphasize that students need to "use their words" instead of their hands.
We do a lot of role play to model the correct way to do things at school. Good luck!

I went to school with my son one Thursday because he'd had to change his color five school days in a row. Turns out the kid he'd been putting his hands on had done his own share of putting on of hands - he was just better at being sneaky than my son. While I was SITTING THERE the other kid tried to get my son to do it back twice.. anyway, they got separated and my kiddo hasn't been in trouble since.

It reads like your son is having trouble in more than one situation, but I really think going to school for a day might give you extra insight - possibly even into the need to change teachers or schools (although our teacher and school ROCK, were he in the class down the hall he would be living in the red zone).

Some kids get their sensory input through touch. So, taking away opportunities won't solve the issue because it's a physical need. Giving him appropriate outlets, like figits to hold during transition times, or circle times, or other times when he's touching his friends might help.

J., I do not know what school he goes to and it is probably a good school, and I know that your child is not a perfect angel but, I would watch this situation closely. It seems that you have great insight to your children and you are a close loving, and active family.With that being said, not everyone is like that. competativeness has become a plague in this society. A lot of times teachers are cold to their needs. They expect 5 year old kids to be perfect little robots. Some children are active and intelligent and they get bored. When my son was 5 he was not a child to be contained for a long period of time, I fought them tooth and nail for they wanted to medicate him. No way! To the point, they may be making the situation worse by excluding him instead of just giving him something to squeeze when he gets anxious. Or, maybe he is getting picked on, I would suggest that you make a suprise visit to the class and try to observe at the door before you enter the class. See what is going on behind closed doors. I am getting the feeling the he feels alienated for some reason. I hate to say that I have witnessed dispicable acts from school personal to some children that do not fit in thier criteria. Some of them have no business with children. I could go into a long story of my own account but I would write a novel. Bottom line, before you blame yourself see what is going on at school.

One thing to do is always reward them when they get a good dot. With something little dollar toy or candy or trip to a park. Even have a mother night where you do something really fun as a reward. I had alot of mother-daughter nights an my kid loved it so did her friends always wanted to come over to them. We would do fun crafts on them or build a tent over the table an roast marshmellows over candles. Other times in the kitchen play resturante making homemade little pizza's out of buscuits an bake just like a buscuit. We just rolled it out an added all the stuff it taste great or cookies etc. But also you need to stick to some punishment at the same time. My kid had dots at that age but if she got too many bad ones she got a spanken an things taken away. Just remember the more you reward when good the more they will want to be good.

i do a reward system as well when my boys or nieces are having issues in school. they have to behave 4 of the 5 school days. if not, then no treat for them. it allows for a bad day. heck, you can start with 3 of 5. but it reiterates that you expect good behavior overall. reward the good when you can! LOL

My guess is that you're under a tremendous amount of stress, be it good or bad, stress affects us moms and trickles down to our kids.....sounds like he just doesn't know how to "use his words" when feeling stressed or perhaps it's when there is a lack of conrol by the teacher he just gets so excited he doesn't know what to do with himself. Might I suggest a little reverse psychology? Instead of punishment for doing it wrong, try offering him something special - a time just with mom or a treat, as a REWARD for being good "in line" or whatever, if he makes it through the day with little or no reprimands, celebrate it somehow - give him something to look forward to?! You could make a calendar or use the family calendar and for every day he does well, put a happy face, then when he gathers 5 he gets a reward of some sort. Good Luck to you and Yeah to you for trying to get it solved now instead of waiting until it's a huge problem.

Sounds like your alot like me...I'm a SAHM and have been for the last 5 years. I also have a 5 yr old in K and does the same things. I tried punishment, and my son doesn't respond well to that, so I've been trying rewarding him on the days he does good, and it seems to be working better. My son just seems to get "bored" easy, like when standing in the lines to go to a different part of the school...I just remind him every morning I drop him off at school to "be good, behave, and keep your hands to yourself". I think you just have to be patient, and just keep encouraging good behavior. It's definitely a learning experience. Good Luck!!

Maybe he needs something to hold to keep his hands occupied when he is in line. Just a thought.