Help with Getting My 2 Yr Old in Her Bed!

Being a Mom is a hard job isn't it?! I'm sure you're doing great. Just remember, your child will not be drinking from a bottle, wearing a diaper, or sleeping with you when she heads off to college!! Anyway, we moved right when my youngest turned two. I decided to make that the time to get her out of the crib. The crib was in our old house, but never appeared in the new one. She didn't miss a beat. I guess she just assumed since the house was new, so was the bed. Unfortunately she drank from a bottle until she was 3, and I finally took it away cold turkey because it was getting embarrassing. She hasn't had a sip of milk since (and she's five!) so, I don't have advice on that one. Good luck, and don't be hard on yourself :)

K.

Hi! Sounds like the biggest issue is the bed. Don't worry about the diapers- my boys were almost 3 (and a little past 3) when they were out of them.

As far as the bottle, they make sippy cups with spouts similar to a bottle for an easy transition. Take her shopping for a bunch of cool ones. I believe we "lost" ours one by one until they were gone :) It turned out to be alot easier than I thought it would be.

Maybe your move to Fl. could be a good thing for getting her to sleep in her bed. Hype it up for the next month... go buy her a "big girl" bed set. They also make tents that fit over beds with different characters on them. They're open on one side, so they're not gated in bed. I almost got one for my son who would never stay in his bed either. But he grew out of that stage before I had to. We made him a "lightning mcqueen" room. He used to always want to sleep on a futon we have in our hallway, and sometimes he would sleep on the floor in the hallway. We never fought him over it. I felt like if we made it an issue, he would want to do it even more. I think he finally decided that his bed was more comfy than the floor!

You could also give her a sticker or coin for every night she sleeps in her bed. (you could put the coin under her pillow for a surprise when she wakes up.) Then take her for a treat at the end of the week.

Good luck and let us know what works for you!

First the bottle.
Only bottle with water. Not milk. Not juice. If she wants something else, it needs to be in a sippy cup. No ifs ands or buts. This is the rule. Period.

Now the bed.
She is 2. She is a big girl.
You can convert her bed yourself. Just do it. (I do all of that stuff because my husband has 10 thumbs and is not mechanically inclined at all. Heck I put the crib together when I was 9 months pregnant!) Let her pick out her new sheets and comforter. Make a big to do about her new big girl bed. Then at night, make her sleep in it. Gate her in if you have to. Do NOT give in! She will whine and cry, just put her back in the bed and say nothing. You need to be totally no nonsense. Don't let her tell you she's thirsty, etc. No water, no juice, no cookies, no book, nothing.

It will be a long night, but she will go to sleep in her bed. You might get lucky and she will just go right in and be the big girl that she is.

When you get to your new house, make a to do about her new room. Change is good. She will adjust instantly if you let her know that this is perfectly normal and that you are not concerned about it at all. Children read from their parents. Make sure she reads calm and secure from you.

You need to be totally no nonsense. You need to ignore her when she throws a tantrum. Just walk away.

She wants to be in control. You are the parent. Be in control. Do it now because soon enough, she will be too old to control and you will wonder what happened. You can't just slam on the control when they become teenagers. It has to start when they are little.

YMMV
LBC

Good for you and your daughter that the bottles are gone!!

I know one thing that helped our son transition into a new room and big boy bed this past summer, was letting him help decorate. We had to do the move since we were getting ready for our second child. He loves trains so I got some wallies- border and cutouts of Thomas. Wallies are great- you can remove them and restick them like window clings. He helped us place the cutout wallies- thomas and lots of other thomas characters! Anyone who comes into our house- he wants to show them his new room- which he has been in 5 months. He also loved his new big boy bed which surprise has some thomas sheets under a regular comforter.

We are really proud about how the room turned out and of him making this big transition.

So I would say, do some shopping- doesn't have to be expensive- the wallies were $10 at Target. Hype up her new room in her new house and have fun with it.

It is also important for your daughter to know that you and your hubby need "us" time. talk with her about sleeping in her own bed and how it is time for her to do that since she is getting to be a big girl, but also that you and your husband also need some mommy daddy time. She will be looking to your relationship as a couple for strength, guidance, support, most of all love.

Good luck! You sound like you are a great Mom! It is tough to see our babies growing up before our eyes and before we are ready to move to the next stage...

PS taking on one thing at a time is good. Don't stress about the potty training. it will come in time- most of all when she is ready. Let yourself and your dau get settled in your new house before you think of tackling that task. Follow her lead if you can- get some books adn maybe a potty in time and see if she is ready. if not- put the potty back in the closet and try again in a month or too! Try to keep in mind- who's need is it to have her potty trained because there will come a time when it is her need. My hubby and I ask the "who's need" question all the time because when our son balked potty training (which he started at day care because of older friends going at 18months but then stopped and now at the age of 3 is totally potty trained)especially bowel movements, we stepped back and saw it was more our need not his. Now we are golden and he was in control of going on his own. So immportant!

I would just wait till you move to Fl because you have alot of tough to break issues with your daughter that no doubt is going to take alot of effort and hard work on your part.I am sure if you start now and put in all this hard work it will be undone once you relocate just because this is always a set back with children even if they dont have all of these issues to break.When we moved out here to Va my oldest was 3 years old and had been potty trained for over a year and he started having accidents once we moved out here due to the stress of moving and the new invironment.So I would give yourself a break and just focus on the stress of moving first and then once you guys are settled and she is feeling safe and confident in her new invironment..pick the one that you are sick of the most and stick to it till she is broken of it.I personally think we cauddle our kids too much and we try too hard to not make them uncomfortable with taking things away and making them sleep on ther own,but I think kids are so much more resiliant than they are given credit for...when both of my boys turned 1 years old I through out all there bottles and put them on sippy cups...there was no weaning off...I just through them out and we all got over it real quick,they cryed for them for a couple of days but because there were none left on the house I wasnt tempted to give in when times got tough.They are now 3 and 8 and perfectly healthy contented little boys...no permanent scaring LOL!!! Sometimes you just gotta do it and dont look back.Good luck!!

hi J.,
you're right, these are a lot of issues, and the move is going to way complicate things. you can work on some stuff before you go (and you should), just remember that backsliding will be natural in the upheaval of the move.
the diapers aren't a big deal, i'd let that happen more organically or at least wait until after the move. the bottle can certainly be done now. spend a week watering it down until it's straight water. no negotiation. this is terrible for her teeth, and since she's 2 it will be hard for her. so while she's adjusting to this i wouldn't make any other changes.
it's fine for her to sleep with you if that's what everyone wants, but it sounds as if this is not the case. if you want what's easy, you're out of luck. it's 'easy' that got you into this pickle. getting her back into her own bed will require lots of love and gentleness, and at the same time consistency and firmness. putting her back into her own room does not have to be abandonment and shrieking, but you do have to stick with it. keep putting her back, lovingly, quietly, and relentlessly. but i wouldn't do this until after the move.
boundaries are comforting for children. testing them is normal and natural, and indicates curiousity and boldness. yay for the pushing! that doesn't mean it's wonderful to cave. you can set your individual family boundaries with love and understanding, and your kids will benefit greatly from it.
and you will get some sleep.
khairete
S.

I would wait until after your move. Trying (and maybe succeeding)prior to your move, will probably end up being disruptive and will back-fire when you settle into your new home. Reason: she will be in a new place and may feel uprooted (which is fine) and will want the comfort of you and your bed again.

I didn't let my kids sleep in our bed, but offered for them to sleep on the floor next to us. This worked, although, it took a little time (not much) and we were awakened sometimes with a plea to get in bed with us. We never gave in and just reiterated sleeping on the floor to be close to us.

Eventually, we moved the sleeping bag (or whatever you use), but I think a sleeping bag (as opposed to a blow up mattress) is better, b/c sleeping on the floor isn't as comfortable as a bed--this can help in being a motivator to your daughter to want to sleep in a bed--HER OWN BED.

Anyway, ultimately, we transitioned the sleeping bag to the end of the bed, to the doorway, to the floor in their room, then to their bed. Once in their bed, the tables turned, and we slept next to them in their bed--on their floor. It worked. Yes, occasionally, there is some regression which is to be expected, yet firmness and consistency is the rule. Be encouraging and walk your daughter back to her bed, reassure her. Tell her what a big girl she is, how it is going to be morning very soon, etc.

I hope this helps. It is what worked for us. I have three children. My first was the only one we had this issue with. He's 13 and still comes in with his comforter and pillow and wants to sleep on our floor. :-)

All best,

B.

A little about me: 43, SAHM, boy 13, boy 11, girl 8, and a 3 year old Lab. Have a BS, but am taking a class a semester working toward my nursing degree, am also a yoga instructor. Enjoy reading and running!

p.s. -- maybe, too, after toilet training and weining from the bottle, she will be more confident, perhaps independent, and will hopefully take to "her own, big girl bed."

I'd agree with most of the previous posts in saying that these are many issues to deal with in just a month. She probably won't "understand" that you are moving, but you can start talking about your new place and that she will have her own room and her own bed ready for her once the house is unpacked. I've found that if I give my kids a deadline, like after Easter, or when school ends, they are usually ready for the change at that time. Even though your daughter is 2, she understands more of what is happening around her than she can communicate. This move will probably be a little scary for her, and she might want a couple weeks to get used to the new house/routines/lifestyle. It is up to you how comfortable you are with what happens next - if you want to allow her to come in your room to sleep on the floor with her big girl mattress next to your bed, to use a sleeping bag, or to put her down in her new room and let her transition that way. Use what works for your family.

For instance, I know that my kids sleep better if they travel with their own pillows, so wherever they sleep still smells like home. When we transition our kids, I'll move their blankets and sheets to their new beds, so they can feel it is a comfortable sleeping place. Sort of like they told us to put a shirt that we wore a couple days under our baby's crib mattress so they felt secure there away from us.... Also know that there are many ways to share a sleeping room with kids that are safe. You can look up guidelines at the API website. Here's the link: http://www.attachmentparenting.org/support/articles/safes...

Right now we have one room that we all sleep in, but that has changed over the years from a large bed that we all slept in to different beds around the room with our big bed in the middle for any scared children. I have to say, however, that in the seven years that we've had kids, I can count on three fingers the numbers of nightmares I've had to deal with. For our family, this works!

I agree that letting the potty training slide for now is fine. If you feel you have the time, you could start researching different methods. You might want to get "Once Upon a Potty" or similar books and just read/show them to your daughter to gauge her interest. It's a subtle way of showing her that a change is coming, so she has the opportunity to get excited that children "her size" are using the potty and her turn is coming soon. I wouldn't put any pressure on it until after the move, personally.

The easiest thing to "work on" right now I think would be the bottle, maybe by changing one bottle at a time to a sippy cup or straw cup, sort of like weaning from the breast to the bottle? That way, it's a process, and if she regresses when you do move, you can have one time of day that she still gets a bottle, if she needs one. I'd suggest that time to be anytime but bed time, however! You don't want her falling asleep with a bottle, or with milk on her teeth... Hope this gave you some ideas!

Y.

Dear J., Take a breathe girl. I'm worried this move is going to be too much on you! You have given yourself a big task here. Take one thing at a time. Sleeping with Mom and Dad should come first since you're about to make a home move. Just make sure you talk about the move to your daughter in a very positive light. Tell her about her new room of her very own! and her new big girl bed awaiting her. Make her room fun and cheery. Put a lot of her favorite things up on the wall and have toys easy to get to. Someplace a child would want to be.
Moving is a big transaction for the whole family, but I think if everyone knows what's expected of them you will all be fine. If you have a hard time getting her into her own bed, pick one night out of the week that can be her night to sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed. As soon as she's settled into her routine, start working on either the bottle or the potty issue with her.
Best of luck to you and your family. I hope I've been of some help. ~D.

I agree that that things may take a step backwards when you move- that is a huge change for a kid. Maybe you can talk with her about how when you move, it will be time for her to move into her own room, get her excited about it, let her decide what the room looks like (colors, bed, etc.) and then be firm once you get to the new house.

Don't worry too much about potty. Worry about the other stuff first.

Bottles can probably be accomplished before you move. If you haven't introduced a sippy at all, make sure you do for a couple of days before you take away the bottles. If she already takes a sippy, then I would say perhaps cold turkey is the way to go. OR, you could let her help you "send" the bottles away to a baby who needs them if she will go along with something like that. Do you have a friend with a baby? Perhaps she would get excited about giving her bottles away to a baby she knows. Make sure to praise her for being a big girl!

Good luck to you! Hope the move goes well!

If you think you shut down when you're overwhelmed, imagine how your little two-year-old feels, without all the coping mechanisms that you've developed. The move will be a big disruption to her and will probably set back any progress you make in these areas. She will need the comfort of her bottle and sleeping with her mommy to ease the transition. I would recommend waiting until you're settled to start working on these things - it doesn't matter what order. But don't worry. It's not unusual for a two-year-old to still do all of these things. I don't know why there is such pressure for them to grow up so fast! Give her time, be patient and persistent and it will happen. Good luck!

What I did with my daughter as far as the bottle, I had her quite cold turkey. I got her the cups with the straws and threw out (recycle bin) all the bottles.
I had a similar problem with my kids. I made a sleeping area, using a sleeping bag, pillow, etc. Comfortable but not more comfortable than their bed. This way when she wants to come and sleep in your bed you tell her that she has her own "camp" bed/sleep area in your bedroom. Do get that toddler bed done. The pay off is so worth it. You can make it a 'Mommy and me' project.
It would be healthier for you daughter to see a happy mom and dad as well a peaceful mom.

I am sure you do not want to hear this, but I would wait until you are moved and settled before trying to tackle these issues. Any headway you make now will probably be erased with all the changes of the move. Unless you are a "cry it out" person, the bed move most probably will be transitional and not a one day or one week thing, as will the bottle. I aGREAT book is The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Pre schoolers. It has great ideas and techniques for transitioning, and a whole section on moving from co-sleeping to their own bed. Maybe convert the bed when you set it up there and majke a big deal out of her new room, then start the transition. Remember, she has been used to sleeping next to you for a long time now, and for many kids that security can not be duplicated on their own right away.
As for the diapers, most kids train closer to 3 than 2. See if she is giving you cues: Is she asking to get out of the diaper as soon as she peeps or poops, or better yet, telling you she has to go before she goes. Wait for htese cues before even starting or you end up with a longer battle. Try working on all the otehr things that are a part of "potty training", as it is more than just peeing in the potty! Work on: getting dressed and undressed (so she can pull up and down her pants), washing, rinsing and drying hands, flushing the toilet and putting down the cover. That way, when gher body is ready, the rest of hte steps will be in place.
Best of luck with the move!
K.

Hello,

i know what you mean. my advice is first of all see if you can watch a couple of the supper nanny episodes(the one with JO Jo)

i would probably work on the sleeping thing first that way when she moves to her new house you can keep it going, and try and be consistant.

i dont know how you are getting to FL but for me i would rather my kid be drinking out of a sippy cup or a bottle that has a stopper on it so that you dont have to worry about spills in the car or on the plane.

now with the bed time thing.

talk to her all day about it, encourage her about it make it exciting.
start of your routien a little eairler. quietly play in her bed room (eg a puzzel) after she is in her pjs and then encourage her to get into bed a read her one or two stories.
put a night light in her room.
leave her with her favorite book. tell her what you want her to do, that you want her to snuggle down and go to sleep and that you are there should anything happen. leave the room. pull the door too but not shut. leave your hall way light on.

make sure that your bathroom doors and all other doors are shut if you are on a different level also make sure your gates are shut.

walk a way and dont turn back, go about your usual business, when she comes out say it is time to go back to your bed. put her back in, tuck her in kiss and walk out.

next time just put her in bed, and say stay in bed pelase, after that dont say anything just act like a robot (she is now testing your to see where your breaking point is). if she fights and she might just keep calm and put her in her bed

when you are going to bed be quiet so she dosent hear you. if she creeps into your bed then go a head and walk her back to her bed.

this will be difficult but well worth every step, and when you move make sure you dont undo any of it.

do not lie down with her, this will creat other problems

if worse comes to worse close her door and just ignore her, a 2 year old can cry for quite a while,

I would also do this training over a few days where you dont have to be anywhere eg work.
this will probaly take two weeks to get down firm but she should be good after 2 nights.

Just make sure that you also wear this child out during the day. but not so much that she is over tired when it comes to bed.

talk this routien threw with the man. and ask him for his support. having a broken foot he will be limited. tell him you need to be supported.

good luck.

oh and with the bottles thing, i just took them away from my son (once i knew he had the skills he needed ) and when he got thirsty i gave him his sippy cup and left it where he could reach it. i did the same when he went to the cup.
he will drink when he is thirsty enough.

be tough and hang in there you can do it.

when we moved across the country this summer i allowed my 2.5yo to pick out her own room in the new house (naturally her choice was more than a little influenced by me). this gave her a sense of control and pride in her new room. we also took this opportunity to transition her to a twin bed. i was skeptical about doing so much transition with the the move but it turned out to work really well for us. she loves her new room and she tells me what a big girl she is frequently. good luck!

Just to start with I am the mother of 6 and my husband is in the military so we have moved a lot. I would not expect any change you start now to stick when you move. A 2yr. can only handle so much at one time. My advice to you is to keep things as they are for now. Move, get settled and then choose one thing at a time to change pick which one bothers you the most or which one you think will be easiest and then go gently. None of us like change and it is easier to take them on one at a time and gently. For potty training I love the Once Upon a Potty DVD you can borrow it from Netflix. You can go from a bottle to a sippy cup. One of my daughters weaned from breast milk to a sippy cup but at night she wanted to eat a slice of plain bread before bed so I let her she was about 2 1/2yr. For sleeping in her own bed you can try letting fall asleep in your room and moving her to her bed and letting her come back to your bed when she wakes up. This will give you some time in bed without her. You could also try reading and singing her to sleep in her own bed and then letting her come into your bed if she wakes in the night. With Either of these I would make a big deal about her big girl bed and it being her very own space. Just remember that if the thought of tackling all of this at one time and in a month is overwhelming to you it will most definitely be for your daughter. These are all big milestones and she will reach them. Take your time and relax and don't do too much at once. You are laying the ground work for being sensitive to her feelings and good communication. You are about to change her whole world keep as many things the same as possible initially.