Hi, Moms,
I am looking for advice on the final stages of potty training. My daughter is 3 years and 9 months old. We are hoping to put her in preschool in January, but she's not potty trained yet. She has mastered the daytime #1 routine with the help of positive reinforcement, but I can't get her to do #2 in the potty.
We have been trying the no pants method (kid runs around the house with no pants until natural urges drive them to the potty) for several weeks, but we live in an apartment, and we also have a dog, so twice a day, I have to get her dressed and take the dog for a walk. Almost the moment she has pants on, she fills them. Today she waited until we were actually at the park, and then released two days worth of poo down her legs. I managed to stay calm, but we had to leave early, and poor puppy didn't get to do his business.
I'm pretty sure part of this is a control issue. When I talk to her about it, she looks at me with an expression that says, "I know you can't make me do this." "No want it" is what she says. We have also just moved and transitioned from military to civilian lifestyle. There's a lot of upheaval right now, but she did this before the upheaval started. I have offered rewards. I'm not sure how that goes over because she doesn't talk much yet, but I haven't seen any change in behavior. Her dad scolds her. That doesn't seem to process. I'd be content to let nature takes its course, but I think preschool would do her a lot of good, and she has to be potty trained to go to preschool.
Thanks in advance.
J. A.
This website gives a detailed, no-nonsense process for getting resistant kids to use the potty. Your daughter sounds like a good candidate for this approach: http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm
Good luck. I know this can be an agonizing problem for parents of resistant kids.
When my son was potty training, I ended up having to completely stop trying to encourage him. It was a control issue and finally for a couple of days I stopped saying anything about the potty. I let him wear just underwear in the house and put on the special training underwear (not pullups) that has the plasticy material on outside when we left the house. I never asked him or encouraged him to go on the potty. I think I did praise if he went by himself though. In a couple of days he decided to do everything himself with no reminders or asking him to go from me. Before this week, I did the sticker chart and the bigger, special treat (actually Peeps) for No. 2.
Part of it might be that she enjoys the one on one time during the diaper change. With my son, I would sit in the bathroom with him and read his potty book, even if he didn't go, I would praise him for trying. When he would go ahead and use the diaper, he got the silent treatment until the diaper was changed, and we were on to something else. It was no longer a fun time to talk with mommy or daddy, it was just something that HAD to be done, and that seemed to make a big difference to him.
The site Peg M recommended is the same advice I would suggest, your daughter does seem like a perfect candidate for the approach : )
