Hello moms, I have learned many valueable things from all of the questions I have read, but this is my first to ask. My daughter (who will be 3 in September) is doing great with potty training at home and at daycare, but will not go potty when we are out. She is very scared of public restrooms because of all the noises and how loud it can be when the toliets flush or heaven forbid someone uses the hand dryer. She totally freaks out! It has gotten to the point where I have to basically drag and bribe her to go in there with me, when I have to go. This is not helping us acheive total potty training, and leads to accidents or regression to pull-ups when we are out. Does anyone have any ideas on how to overcome this? She has always been very sensitive to loud noises, so I am confident that it isn't specific to it being a restroom, just that it is soo loud!
Thank you to everyone who responded. We tried the "magic earplugs" and while they don't stay in very well, I think it was enough for her to give it a shot. She is much better now, but it has taken a few months. I would "check out" the bathroom first, and make sure it was a "quiet one" I would also allow her to exit the stall and stand by the door as I flushed, so that it wasn't as loud, and we always skip the hand dryers. Lately, she actually seems excited to hear her echo in the restroom, so as long as there aren't many other people in there so they aren't making noise, she is ok with noise she makes herself. After a lot of positive encouragement she still covers her ears for the flush and is intially reluctant, but will now at least go when she has to.
I bought a potty chair at a garage sale and i bet we used it 100 times for my number 5 child!
I wish i had thought of it for the first 4 :)
J. in bath
Do you have a minivan? When my kids were learning to potty train I had a minivan and just bought a portable potty for them to use in the van when needed. You can get them in toys r us and they have disposable liners. I never needed to use public restrooms. It is a bit harder with a car because there isn't as much room in the vehicle to put the potty to sit on.
I would say while it's early days keep your trips out shorter if possible, always have her go potty before you go out and maybe limit her fluids a little if you know you are going out.
Public restrooms are very noisy places and so can be scary to a little one but you could keep coaxing her in with you to get her used to them. I'm sure if she sees mommy using the public restroom she will eventually be "brave" enough to use them herself.
Good luck ;)
T.,
My son has the same problem and as your daughter gets older she may become less sensitive to the noise. I would cover my son's ears, tell him when the toilet would be flushing so he was prepared for the noise, and allowed him to dry his hands on his shirt (hated the sound and feel of the air dryer).
You might want to look into the ear plugs hunters use when at a firing range. They can be found at Meijer in the sporting goods section. The foam ones are the best and easiest to put in the ear. Just roll between your fingers into a cone, insert into the ear canal - not too far - and the foam expands to fill the space. This then acts as a mute dulling the noise.
Good luck!
-C..
My son is very sensitive to noise, so it opened my eyes to things that I didn't notice as beingtoo loud. Bring a headband with you, like a winter fleece one, or ear muffs, and that should muffle the sound enough to make it comfortable for her. Remember, this isn't an attitude thing, it really hurts her ears to hear loud nises, and she is just avoiding pain.
Awww, poor dear. Well, I don't really have much advice on the noise thing, although my son and I just talk about it. "It's going to be loud, mommy?" "Yes, honey, it's going to be louder than our potty at home. But mommy is here with you. You can cover your ears if you want." Or I will bring it up first. He was the same way about the hand dryer in the beginning. Now he hopes every bathroom has one, and uses a pretend one at home! About the psychology of using public bathrooms. I had to take my son out of the house during a carbon monoxide scare at our home one day. Since it was lunchtime, I took him to a restaurant. He had to pee BAD and was potty training. He freaked out in the bathroom, crying about the loud potty and how he didn't want to use it. I had him look me right in the eyes. I held his hands in mine and I told him he was just like Mr. Brave (you know, from the Mr. Men book series?) and that I knew, since he was a big boy, that he could do it. I assured him that mommy would help and everything would be OK. I kept repeating the Mr. Brave thing and he did it! At the table he kept talking about how brave he was and that he would tell his daddy when he got home. So, maybe you could buy the Mr. Brave book and twist the meaning a little bit? Good luck!
Alot of stores now have family restrooms... You are the only ones in there...
I know the walmart near us has it. Perhaps ask at the customer service desk if they have one so you know for future trips.
I really don't know if there is anything to really do except expose her to it (the noises). She is 3 and that is a time where kids have fears... She will outgrow it eventually... Or at least become less sensitive to the noises...
This may sound strange, but what about earplugs in your purse for bathroom trips? It will lessen the noise.
My daughter is also afraid of loud noises.. vacuums blenders, mixers.. and the smoke detector.
she was 3 in december.. she doesnt like public restrooms and we rarely ever use one..
My daughter goes potty 4 times a day....first thing in the morning, noon, after nap adn bedtime and that is plenty..
We do go out but she never has to go... if your daughter has been trained for a while she should be able to go 2- 3hours without a potty stop...
make sure she goes potty before you leave home and she should be good..
T.,
A lot of stores now have family restrooms and it's basically a large bathroom with a toilet, changing table and sink and it's designed for one family at a time; my kids have problems going in public; my daughter more than my son; she uses one of those plastic potty chairs; try finding out if the stores you frequent have a family bathroom, I know Whole Foods and Briarwood mall does. Also try taking one of those portable seat like this one http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2304657 so that she has a smaller surface to sit on; that might help make it be less scary for her. Good luck!
She doesn't want to go into the public restrooms because the sounds are very painful to her.
Check with your pediatrician before trying this (I am not a doctor and this is not medical advice):
Epsom salts baths (daily) can help calm sensory sensitivities like being sensitive to noises in some individuals.
Google Susan Owens and Rosemary Waring + "sulfation" or "epsom salts baths". Owens writes a lot on internet (yahoo) groups, and she shares her daughter's experience. Her daughter was extremely sensory sensitive. Her father had Alzheimers. Epsom salts baths helped them both, and Owens began to research WHY.
A daily epsom salts soak may be an inexpensive help. Please clear it w/ your ped first.
Here are a few tricks that I have learned through the years. Cover the automatic flush with either toilet paper or a post-it note. With my 1st she was scared that the potty seat was so big so we bought a Dora folding potty seat. My kids are still afraid that the water is going to be to hot, it only happened once, so I just give them a little squirt of hand sanitizer when we leave.
I also use the family bathroom as much as possible!
Good Luck!
You may want to increase her b vitamin intake, people with b deficiency often are sensitive to sound. Google b vitamin foods and you can see what she likes to eat. They are water soluble so she would urinate out any excess she doesn't need, and they really keep people calm. K. S
My son had the same problem at that age. We have now found out that he has sensory integration dysfunction. To help with the public restroom issue I would hold my hands over my sons ears until he was finished. It is not the best solution but when you have children with sensory integration issues you try whatever works to make them feel comfortable. Good luck!
