Hi Moms,
I was hoping some of you had some advise about going through a divorce. My husband and I have been having problems for years, gone to counseling, and still can't see eye to eye. I really feel like the only way to be happy is to get a divorce. My question is, where do I even start? My husband and I do not have a lot of money and I'm worried about how much a divorce will cost. We own a home together and I want to stay in the home with my kids. I don't think he'll dispute this but do I have to get the house in my name only? How does that work? Also, what about all the joint bills and all the belongings in the house? Even though he's not a good husband, he is good with the kids so I would never keep the kids from him. What do the Michigan courts usually do about custody? Any information you could provide would be great. Thank you for your help in this very difficult time.
R.
You could try to find a lawyer who deals in 'collaborative' divorce. It's a type of divorce procedure that focuses on settling things amicably, especially custody. The structure of it makes it in the best interest of the lawyer to keep the proceedings out of court and settle things with negotiation. If you search for 'collaborative divorce' online, you can probably find some resources, or call the Michigan Bar Association for references.
Hi R.,
I just wanted to respond because I thought one response was kinda rude! Sure you should contact a lawyer for specific details but mamasource is always a wonderful place to get information from people who have been there and done that. Sounds like you are just looking for some general info and even i know that lawyers charge you by the minute so it IS best to try and know a little something before you call a lawyer. While i have not gone thru a divorce I had a friend just go thru one and for them, in order to separate the names on the home, they had to do a refinance procedure to legally change the names on the home to a single person. Unfortunately, now is not a great time to refinance the home... I don't know if there are other options or not. You could try to call a Realtor as they should know about the procedure. As for the custody questions... i don't know very much--my friends didn't have kids so it was a pretty straight forward legal matter. I would keep digging around and trying to collect as much info as you can before contacting a lawyer. Or look for some free counsel firsthand before filing. I can only imagine how much anxiety is involved. I do believe it will be expensive, emotionally draining, and a very difficult process to get thru. With that said, I'm sure you will come out of it a happier person and even a better mom. i wish you the best of luck and you will get thru it!
Hi R.,
I went through a divorce with children after 10 yrs. of marriage. We didn't fight and I requested custody and allowed him fair visitation. So the the judge gave me full physical custody. I allow my children to see their father every weekend, no problem. As far as the house goes, you could ask him to do a quick deed over to you. Another option is I'm not sure what county you live in but in Oakland county you can go to their website and look up free/discounted legal aid help. Also, law students can help you, then when you go to the court to file your papers some filing fees may be reduce if your income is considered below a certain amount I believe. Just some things to check into.
Good luck,
Denise G
Your husband can sign a warranty deed and than the house would be in your name and not his. As for the joint bills start putting them in your name. I think you need to call a lawyer and ask for advise, mamasource is probably not the best place for legal advise to be honest with you. If you took the time to come on here to post this you have the time to research divorce laws in michigan.
