Help with Difficult Hair Washing?!

Skip the water and shampoo for a while. Just rub over his head daily with a wrung out washcloth. That should get him clean enough and lessen his panic. Be careful not to drag the washcloth across his face while you are tending to his hair.

I have to agree with the other responses, if you get it done first thing that is best. All 3 of my kids prefer washing their hair in the shower, so that would be my suggestion. Also the wash cloth over the eyes helps. My youngest has always hated having his hair washed. So, we started letting him do it himself. At first he didn't do very well, but over time he became braver and now washes his entire head. This way they are in control and it takes away some of the fear factor.

Good luck!!!

My four year old grandson has lived with us for almost two years and has never enjoyed getting water on his face during bath time. We've found that by keeping his hair very short (buzz cut), the time involved in getting the hair washing job done is about 20 to 30 seconds. I put a teeny amount of shampoo on his dry head, then scoop a bit of water up to lather it just enough. I then give him a clean folded soft dry washcloth and have him press it over his eyes, and tell him "chin up" or "look up to the ceiling" and with a large plastic cup, rinse his head quickly with fresh water from the running bath tap - with very short hair, it only takes two or three cupfuls. Most times, the washcloth gets too wet for his liking, so i have his dry bath towel close at hand to dry his face right away.

Try to alleviate his stress by acting nonchalant, matter-of-fact, and without comments that may enforce his feelings that you share in his distress and feel sorry for him. In other words, don't baby him. The less talk, the better. Otherwise, This might only teach him that he has the power to manipulate.

By the way, we get the hair washing done first thing, as soon as he gets in the tub. He gets over it quickly, and then plays and enjoys the rest of his bath time.

I don't think it's a good thing to avoid the hair washing by doing it less frequently. He'll get over his trauma faster once he realizes that it must be done every single time he takes a bath.

Good luck to you, hope some of what I've said helps you.

Hmmm..... M. I know that this might come across as harsh and I truly do not mean it to, but sometimes we just have to push through our children's distressful situations until they prove to themselves that it is o.k. He is old enough to understand a simple reward system. If you hold out a carrot to Tyler that is something he really wants or really loves to do he can earn it by being a brave boy during his bath. I have found over the last 14 years with my boys that the less we make of a situation the less they emotionally respond to it in the long run. There have been some pretty crazy things that my boys have had adverse reactions to over the years and most of the time it has boiled down to a power struggle. Tyler will get through this and probably more quickly if he isn't given an option for it to continue. This is of course just my opinion and anything you choose to do has to be good within your own conscience. Two years old is such a immense time. It is very important for him to know that you are large and in charge and that you are going to keep him safe even thought it seems scary at first. Keeping challenging situations from our children at any age can only make it more difficult for them as they grow.
My very best wishes to you in this and everything,
M. C.

My daughter went through the same thing at about 18 months. What worked for us was distraction - a toy in her hands and a sucker in her mouth, and her favorite kid songs playing so she could sing along. Usually the toy got dropped and the sucker came out of the mouth so she could sing and then she forgot all about the hair. Good luck!

When you aren't washing hair does he like to play and have you dump water on his head? This may be a long shot but you might try some swim lessons to get him used to getting his head, ears wet -- just the swim lessons where you get in with him and it's all about playing and feeling comfortable in the water. I am not sure if this will help. We only wash hair once a week and although my son is a fish he doesn't like the water running down his face. I would probably try to wash hair more regularily so it's more of a typical than a-typical activity. I also use leave in conditioner so I only have to do the rinsing once.

Good luck

This might sound weird - so hang on... and please no hate mail...

Our daughter did the same thing at about the same age. I started taking over on the hair washing front. First I let her lay back in the water and get her hair wet - then I soap it up - then I have her lay back again and "pre-rinse" the hair in the bathwater.... that shortens our Shower time... which is what makes her freak out. In the end we take turns squirting her head with the shower massager shower head.

The key to all this is the fun factor. I act like a gay hair dresser talking goofy and being all flamboyant --- Rainey loves it. We talk "girl talk" and tell "secrets" and junk like that. It may be weird, but the drama is gone.

My little girl was like that too ... but has gotten much better. She just hates and was very scared to get water in her eyes, she still doesn't like it but has gotten better about getting her hair washed, as long as I am careful not to get water in her eyes. This is what works for us:

1) I cut her hair as short as I could possibly stand it. I figure when she can take care of it herself, we can grow it longer, but I don't want to deal with a lot of overhead right now.

2) I do take a bath with her on hair washing days. It gives me more control of her and the water. Since she is a girl, I don't mind taking off all my clothes; but if it doesn't feel comfortable for you with your son, you can always try putting on a swimsuit.

3) I bring in a mirror so she can see the "horns" we make with the shampoo suds. I also bring in a couple of dry washclothes so I can quickly wipe off any water before it goes into her eyes.

4) Prior to using a cup to wash/rinse her hair, I use my wet hands to slick back as much of her hair as I can -- giving her the "seal" look and keeping the water and suds away from her eyes while I am lathering her up.

5) This is the most important part: for the final rinse off I tell her to look at the ceiling, so she won't get any water or soap in her eyes. I also thought about putting a mobile or something interesting on the ceiling, but didn't need to -- she is pretty self-motivated to stare at the ceiling and avoid getting anything into her eyes.

6) No conditioner. Just a leave-in detangler which I also use in the bathtub prior to getting her out of the tub.

Best Wishes for 2008!

A.

My son started doing this when he was a year and a half. After further investigation I disocvered that my mom had accidentily used adult shampoo on him when she was watching him and it stung his eyes. After that he thought every shampoo would sting his eyes. We found a cool tool at walmart (in baby section) that is sort of like a watering pitcher, but one side of it is soft bendable plastic. You can press it against his head and poor backwards so nothing ever gets in his eyes. I let him do it to me a few times and no he is okay with letting us use it.

Visit AMAZON or EBAY type SHAMPOO MAT. It Wipes away all the stress, crying and time wasting. You don't have fight with them. Have a creaming match, definitely don't have to get in to the bath... just pop them on the shampoo mat and sing songs together, or they can use a phone to watch their favourite videos while you give them a salon style hair wash at home..... if you try it there's no way you'll wanna back to hell.

My daughter was like that when she was smaller and one day i got on my bathing suit and got into the bath and had her watch me wash my hair. Then when it was her turn I let her wash her own hair with me right there just in case the soap got on her face. i don't know if this will work for you but it might be worth a try. you could even have daddy let you wash his hair. I hope this helps.

You could try having his dad take a shower with him, have Tyler wash dad's hair first. That is assuming you have a shower, and that Tyler's dad has hair, and that no-one involved has overwhelming nudity issues. Good luck!

We had the same problem with our first. We also had him lay down to rinse. He usually would let us use a cup to rinse the rest from that position. As he got older, he started using the cup himself. The biggest help though was having a brother to take baths with. BTW The second one loves everything about the bath, so it's not a universal thing to kids, but it is a very real problem for those that hate it.

My little one enjoys the shower more than a bath. One day I decided to give her a bath and she freaked out when it was time to rince her hair. I went back to the showers and she was happy with that. I just pull the curtain half way shut and reach in there and bath her.

Okay, it's been a log time since I had a two year old, but here's my $.02 worth.
1) I agree: wash his hair anyway everytime, whether he like it or not. This phase will go faster if he learns that You're the mom and you know what he NEEDS and that you are safe. Some empathy is a good thing (yes, his fear is real), but too much sympothy (or drama) on your part will cause power issues later.
2) Swim Goggles. My kids always had theirs in the bathtub. It was great for playing in the water and it keeps the soap out of the eyes as well as the water. We put them on first thing. Give them some splash time, do all the washing, then more splash time.

Hope this helps.
J.

Hi! Have you tried this thing: http://www.amazon.com/S-C-Products-Shampoo-Rinse-Cup/dp/B... ?
Good luck!

We got a special cup for rinsing the hair at Walmart for $4. It's with the baby stuff. You may have seen them. The front of it is rubber, so it molds to the head, so that water won't get in the eyes. It helps a lot.

Another idea: My mom used to take us to the kitchen when we were kids, and we'd lie on our back on the countertop next to the sink. She'd use the sprayer in the kitchen sink on us.

M., have you seen those neat visors available in catalogs such as One Step Ahead for hair washing? They attach by velcro to the back of the head and direct water flow away from eyes. maybe he got his eyes stung and is scared of it now. I would sure recommend you check out One Step Ahead for the product. WE used it when the kids were younger and it worked well. M.

Hang in there. Most of them seem to go through this--though it can be agonizing. With my (3 kids) we minimized the hair washing like you're doing... our oldest (almost 3) is easier to manage if I'm in the tub for hair-wash baths with him. I also make sure to have dry wash cloths handy, so he/we can dry his face when (he thinks) it's wet. The wash-cloth trick was probably most effective for all three. I've also found that getting my sons hair wet slowly and gently, from the neck up, seems to help. Sometimes asking him to look at the ceiling helps--depends on his mood.

I think many people have a primal adverse/fear reaction when anything comes near our face that we aren't putting there.

Good luck!

my daughter is 2 and a bit. She's been terified of getting her face/hair wet as well. She's also quite scared of the bath in general, for this reason. So I've tried several things. During the last bath she cried and cried, while I held her in my lap. My husband sat outside of the bath reassuring her. I started by washing her toes and going up her body, part by part, gently. I explained what I was doing and why. Then we got to the hair. It was the first time I was able to explain to her to rest her head in my hands and to lay back, while my husband washed off the soap. It did not get in her eyes, and the whole thing was successful. This was a week ago and she's still scared of going into the bath again. The trick might be to do this more often, but it's so difficult I don't want to. I'm not sure if this is helpful at all. Feel free to email me. -R.

take him to the store andhave him pick out a shampoo they have really neat bottles with cartoon charachters and then let him wsh his hair make it his job to do . i also used to hand my kids a dry wash cloth and had them hold it over their face while i washed their hair thenwe tried blowing bubbles in the tub and eventually they would get their face in the water also have lots of toys available .