Help with Daycare!!!!!!!!!!

Kids bite and it sucks! But....If after repeated meetings with your day care center, this is still going on, it would lead me to believe that they are not watching the children very well since they keep allowing it to happen. I personally would leave that center and find a new one. Or ...use the him or us approach. Either the biter leaves or your kids leave. Since you have two kids there, they'd be more likely to take your side I would guess.

If I was the daycare that had this problem I'd keep my eye on that kid like a hawk...and after counseling the parents several times, I'd ask the biter's parents to find a new day care.

Good luck!

Hey C.,
Well, the toddler years can be quite frustrating. As a director and toddler teacher for 5 years now, I am wondering why the teacher and/or director have not tried to pinpoint what is causing the biting. It is obvious that there are some issues going on in the room. Look around the room yourself. Are there any small areas that children might become in close proximity to? Are there multiple toys or are the children having to fight over one of each? Is there a certain time of day that the biting is occuring? These are all questions that the teacher/director should have already asked. I am concerned that they are not doing their job to meet all the needs of each child. An occasional bite does occur in toddler rooms, that is part of being a toddler. The concern is when it is happening multiple times on multiple occasions. I would also confront the director and ask her what she is doing to resolve this issue. If she has determined that there is not an issue or that is has been resolved, but it continues to happen I would remove my children. The other thing that you can do as a last resort is file a complaint with the state health and human services. They will at least do an inquiry about the incidents. Hope that helps.
J. G.

As a home daycare provider....I have a biter! At first he was about 15 months old and was teething and just bite other kids, as I watched (as closely as I could...I do have times when I have to go potty too!!!) I did not see anything that provoked him at that time, and he would lean in like he would to hug and just bite down. One child did leave my daycare because he had been bitten a handful of times and I felt that the Parents needed to make that decision for their child and not me. I truly did my BEST to separate when my eyes could not be on them but it happens in a split second I could not guarantee that it would never happen again. Now (my biter) is 2 years old he still bites from time to time (very rarely) but it is ALWAYS because he has been provoked...it is like his defense mechanism....if he is pushed or a toy taken from him he will sometimes go to bite and it happens in a spilt second and almost impossible to stop. The only thing I can say is that I try by best to teach my daycare kids how to share and talk to each other and not take toys away. I do little demonstrations with them and grab a toy away and ask "How did that make you feel" and then I do it again but ask "May I please have the car back?" show them how to ask for the toy back. It really has helped a lot not only with biting but with fighting too! I know that really sounds crazy and it is an ongoing process AND IT DOES WORK!! Does your younger one grab toys, I only ask because my younger one did. Her big brother did it to her so...she did it to smaller ones...getting her bite a few times!!! Regarding your Daycare....if they are taking it serious and reporting the biting to you AND the other parents I would give it sometime and possibly the timeouts or whatever kind of discipline they do may work. Good luck!

I haven't had my kids in daycare for awhile now, but when my oldest was in daycare. The action that was finally taken after many complaints from parents was that the biters were put off in area to themselves. I think the mind set was at least they are biting one another and maybe if they get bite enough they would stop. I don't recall how long they were kept from the others but, it is just a suggestion. I can remember the frustration myself and like you didn't and really couldn't move my child to a different daycare.

Best of luck.
A.

Well from the perspective of a daycare provider who is the mom of the biter I feel for you. The only thing I can tell you with my experience here and my son being the biter is he does it as a way of expressing his emotion especially when upset. I have been able to discourage this behavior with respect to all but one other little girl his exact age. He still bites her on occasion after she has repeatedly taken toys away from him or continues to sit or lay on him. The times it happens in my home are at times when I am in the bathroom or making a meal and not sitting right here with them. I will tell you it is as frustrating and sad for me as a mom when he bites her as it is for her parents. I don't know what else to do in this situation aside from not taking her anymore. I know in a daycare center it has to be a lot different since there are (or should be) more people caring for the children, that you would think someone would catch the biter in the act and redirect that child and behavior before the bite has happened. If I had someone else here with me to watch when I am trying to do something that would help stop it before it happens. I know this doesn't help your situation but I wanted to let you know sometimes (at least in my case) it is harder to stop with one child being so persistent or aggressive in having his or her way (ie. always taking things from ALL the other kids.)

~B.

Hi C.!

Oh, I had a couple of biters! My youngest son and my daughter. It happens in such a split second that you miss it sometimes.
When you're in a daycare setting and it's happening often, it makes it very hard to deal with. I'm sure it's not always easy for them to watch each child all the time.
Usually a child is provoked when they do it. Doesn't make it right but that's what happens oftentimes.
Hope you can find a solution, especially if you're happy with your current provider otherwise.

Blessings!!!

T.
www.liasophia.com/jewelrythatsparkles

As a in home child care provider, I have had my experiences with biters too. I have found like one of the other moms said that it is usually as a result of other kids trying to take toys from the biter or doing something to the biter and this is his way of protecting himself so to speak. If it was me, I would ask the parents involved if I could put a video tape in the toddler room for a day or two to see if you can catch what is happening right before the bite. Once you know what triggers it, you can figure out a solution to stop it. At that age they really don't know that they are doing something wrong, they are just defending themselves. I would also put an extra set of eyes in the toddler room until they can see what is causing the child to bite.