m thisy grandson is three yrs old and autistic and i have never been exposedam to this, and i having a real hard time. Evan started
to just hollering and just whinning for no reason, i know there should be a reason but he does not talk yet so I firsst make sure he is dry and then check his diapper, get him his sippy cup and everything checks out fine I am at a lost, I dont know what to do. He has allways been a happy boy, very lopving, not this new little monster. He just whiners and screams, I got his barney on and nothing helps, hugs dont work,nothing does. I know he if he could talk I would get a ear full but I cant understand. Im 63 and feel
like a olger or something close to it, He is the first to show this and I am overwhelmed.
Sadly, we cant 'love' autism out of our loved ones...be patient, thats the most important thing. As long as he is dry, and safe, you have to let it ride sometimes. Talking to them, touching them may only make things worse. Is he in school? Does he have therapist? Is he on a strict diet? Educate yourself as much as you can by reading and talking to other parents. Remember that each child is soooo different in their symptoms, stimmys etc.
I have a 16 yo high functioning autistic son, so I have a few ideas. You also posted about problems feeding him... so first, young kids can be picky and autistic kids are pickier. It sounds like you are doing as much as you can. At this age, you probably won't be able to reason with him much. I couldn't with my son.
If he gets upset, you can try taking a light blanket, wrapping him up in it and holding him firmly and rocking him. That worked well for my son. Sometimes these kids get overwhelmed with all the stimulus (too much sound, light, touching etc) in their environment and need a way to block it out.
When my son was about 5, we started him on a gluten-free, casien-free diet and found that was very helpful with some of his behavior problems. It also seemed to help him focus better at school. There was a segment on Dr Oz just a few days ago where that was mentioned. It's not 100% guaranteed to work, but often helps these kids. It won't hurt him and could help him so you have nothing to lose there.
He should be in the pre-k program 2-3 days at your local school since he is 3. The program my son was in was wonderful. He is in high school now and in regular ed classes. He's not an A student, but he is doing OK. Don't give up hope. Your grandson can have a very good life and be a productive member of society.
Hope this helps.
His parents need to help you figure out how best to redirect him and what they do to communicate with him (sign language, PECS board). I assume that he is going to school now and attending a special pre-k class to help him develop new skills, but does he have an in-home ABA program going on? If so, then you may want to sit in on one of their workshops or several of their sessions to get a sense of how the tutors are working with him on communication issues and how to redirect him or put his behavior on extinction when he is acting up.
Here are several websites that you can check out to learn more about autism and how it is treated:
http://www.lovaas.com/meetingpoint.php
http://theautismperspective.org/
Also, it would probably help you to read the book 10 Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew. It's a quick read and very insightful.
God bless you for being a good grandmother and trying to be there for your grandson. Take care.
I dont know if this would help (well I am sure it would, but I'm also assuming it will take a while before it really can help you) but try learning and teaching him sign language. (I HIGHLY recommend Signing Time (with Alex and Leah and Hopkins the frog, by Rachel de Azevedo(not sure how to spell her last name) this series is the BEST by far)
My neice has autism also and even though my family (her mom, I and her older brother and others) were deaf and already signed before she was born, she was a very very very difficult 3year old. It was heartbreaking to have her flop on the floor and scream and cry for hours! We didn't know what was wrong, we couldn't comfort her.... it was hard! Not until she started watching Signing Time and going to preschool did she become more in control of herself, more able to tell us (she would mimic exactly how Signing Time phrased things but wow, what a start!!)
If you're not already, please look into early intervention services from the local public schools. They have to provide services (ie, preschool, or something. home visits and/or therapy maybe.)
Have you looked into home services for him? The regional centers can help you set up ABA services for you. The North Bay Regional Center's website is:
http://www.nbrc.net/
Go to this link to apply for services:
http://www.nbrc.net/apply.html
Hope that helps!
I would start by reading some books about autism to get a better idea about the disorder. Does he see a therapist or anything like that? If not, I would speak with his pediatrician and try to get some resources from him/her on getting help with his behavior. There is a lot of help out there, you just have to get the info.
There is a lot of information and support out there. As the others mentioned, I'd start with learning as much as you can about Autism (from reputable sources).
Children with Autism will respond differently than other children. For many children, if they are already feeling overwhelmed, a hug may not be what they need and may agitate them more. Each child is different and its time to arm yourself with some knowledge and tools.
I am sorry for the stress you are under and I know that it is easy to feel overwhelmed right now. But reach out to others and learn all you can. You will learn how to help him more and more.
((hugs))
