Help with Almost 7 Year Old daughter...attitude Problems

This may be a defense mechanism--if she is not finding any success in academic areas--and everything is hard for her at school (and homework at home) it may feel safer for her to be "bad" rather than be "dumb" among her peers (please don't take that wrong--I am not saying she is dumb--I am suggesting how she might be feeling)

Is she young for her grade? Does she seem less mature than her school peers? Would another year in first grade next year be beneficial to her to help her get the basics down before going to 2nd grade. I would definitely discuss the possibility with her teacher--not that you want to decide anything concretely this early in the school year, but if you and the teacher agree that this is a definite possibility/probability, it may be okay to lessen the pressure--reduce what is expected of her this go around in first grade--knowing she will grow up and mature this year and give her a chance to meet all the 1st grade expectations next year in her retention year. Just something to think about. I wouldn't think of it as a failure--at that age a lot of kids just need that extra time--first grade is just a different experience from Kindergarten or any other type of experience most kids have had--and some little bodies and minds just aren't quite ready for it.

Another possibility I wouldn't jump into, but I would definitely start exploring is if she might possibly have a learning disability or something else that is causing her difficulties in school. Just keep in close contact with her teacher and other professionals at her school (counselor, administrator, etc) and explore all possibilities. My experience (as an educator) with kids this age is that inappropriate behavior is often a symptom of other things. Very few kids that young are ever maliciously trying to misbehave.

Good luck.

You do not sound stupid. Worrying about her future is your job as a parent & for you to be cocerned only proves how much you love her. As someone else said, I would start with her school counselor. That is what they are there for. If they can't help you, go to her pedi. If they can't help you, ask for a referal to a child therapist. Don't give up on her until you've found the root of the problem. It may be exhausting, but eventually you will get this figured out.

First I would talk to your school counselor. There might be something that is bothering her. If she doesn't have any suggestions I would seek out a therapist.

My son used to see the school counselor on a pretty regular basis. A therapist could teach you coping skills on how to deal with and change certain behaviors.

A. Lynn

Hi Michelle, I just want to tell you; "You're NOT stupid". Sorry i don't have advice. My oldest son is almost 5, and he and his brothers are doing fine. (most of the time). But in the back of my head I'm always worried that someday one of them will act like your daughter. (My husband thinks I'm looking for the black side of life that probably will never come).
I wish you a lot of wisdom how to handle her, and keep on loving her.

good luck, I.

I am not an educator, but from all you said, perhaps your daughter is frustrated due to having some difficulty with academics. I'm sure the school is fine, but do they address different learning styles? Your daughter may pick up mathematics and reading skills in a different way, perhaps much more visually than the majority of the students in her class.

I once worked for a tutoring program called Lindamood-Bell Learning Processes. A great program that addressed exactly how children and adults learn, instead of just feeding them numbers, letters and rules in a conventional way. Some of the children who came to the program displayed attitude problems, but that was natural since their "job" is to attend school and they had not been succeeding at this full-time effort in the way their peers were. They got one-on-one attention and often adjusted much better when they completed the program.

You may not need a program like that, but you might consider that her attitude can be a defense against feeling like she isn't doing well, her disrupting the class the same thing. And not that she doesn't want to do well, but perhaps in some way her learning style hasn't been addressed. With class sizes and schools testing the way they are, it happens.