Hi Mommies. Happy Mother's day to you all!
Although I have responded to some requests, I have never posted my own. My daughter, who will be 3 in August has never been a great sleeper, but putting her to bed was usually easy. We have a bedtime routine which consists of me reading her a book, singing her a song, tickling her back, holding her hand and then watching her for a bit before kissing her and letting her sleep. Recently, however, she does not want me to leave and screams and cries for hours unless I go back into her room...to only happen again. She constantly asks to sleep in our bed or for me to saty with her. Her father has tried to put her to bed, which she wants none of. I have tried rewards, to no avail. Since she was born, I have worked part time and went back to work full time as a teacher in Sept. so this is not a new change. I believe it's separation anxiety, but don't know what else to do. Her father and I are devastated to have her go to sleep like this each night. What can I do? Is this a normal phase? Help, please!
My 5 year old daughter did not like to sleep in her bed, So I would put her in my bed to fall asleep and then my husband or I would then take her to her room. It may work for you. After a while I got her to go to her bed to sleep.
Hi A., Your account reminds me of a story my mom told me recently about me as a three year old. I used to cry for my mom to stay with me and when she wouldn't I would go to her room 5-10 times each night. She was exhausted; my dad was annoyed; and I was tired! What worked for all of us was the following: She took me to the pediatrician who very matter-of-factly said, "L., you need to sleep in your own bed. Your mom and dad sleep in their own bed. No more getting out of bed at night. And no more tantrums when your mom leaves the room."
I don't recall having been afraid of this man -- in fact he is a close family friend of my parents, and his kids are acquaintances of mine -- however from that visit onward (according to my mom), I went to bed easily and stayed in bed until my mom came to get me in the morning.
Granted, it's been about 30 years since this all happened, and it's possible that my mother has remembered the highlights versus the lowlights, but it's worth a shot. Maybe by having your daughter's pediatrician "tell her how it is" she'll feel like a big girl who can follow the rules. Good luck!
Hi there , I've been thru the same thing with my elder daughter now 51/2. She never slept by herself till she was 5.
Well here is what I did after constant failure to put her to bed for 3 yrs ,we put her mattress next to our bed .
Then she use to scream and constantly wakeup crying with nightmares. I started telling her funny things at night and tell her good things are gonna happen tonight when u dream, it helped her sleep in her bed.
We also got glow in dark stars and moon she loves it and there is something exciting for her to go to sleep.
Hope you got some answers good luck.
I am sorry to hear your daughter is having sleep issues. My daughter had problems for awhile, so I know how stressful it can be. I co-slept with my daughter until she was 28 months old because she woke up so much during the night and it was the only way we all got sleep. She sleeps in her own bed now and stays asleep in her own bed most of the time. I usually fall asleep with her every night, but I'm ok with this most of the time - sometimes it's harder to leave at times and she wants me to stay. When my daughter was younger, I read the book called, The No-Cry Sleep Solution, by Elizabeth Pantley. I believe she wrote one for toddlers/older children. I really don't have too much advice besides that - sorry! Hang in there, I'm sure it will get better soon.
Hi, my boy is now going to be 7 next month. I have had and still do at times similar problem. I fight the battles that I can win. My boy slept mostly with me, after he turned 3 or so, up until about 6 or 8 months ago, and there are still times that he does. He is an only child and I believe like u that its anxiety. No one I talk to about it seemed overly concerned. I guess it would be different my son was 10 or 11 and still sleeping with me. Alot of people believe in the family bed, though you don't overly hear of it. Not much adult time that way, but sacrifice either way. They are only young once. We repeatedly said to our son that big boys sleep in their own beds, kept trying, years. Now he mostly sleeps in there but may get up in the night. Some battles as far as I'm concerned are not worth fighting, we are not super nanny and though it all looks good on t.v, it really is what it is. Good luck and hold her tight and tell her you love her. I've tried all the stuff that parents are suppose to do and have talked with doctors and teachers, no body seems overly concerned. Just keep up the good work
I leave the light on and let my almost three year old daughter read books after I leave the room. We also leave childrens music playing. If she gives me a hard time about not wanting to go to sleep, I tell her to just read her books, or play with her stuffed animals, and she falls asleep shortly after. I am sure it is just a phase and she will grow out of it soon! It all goes by so fast anyway! Good luck!
Mu son will be 3 in August and we have the same exact troubles. Seperation anxiety is common at this age. Right now, I am laying with him until he falls asleep but I remind him that I will not stay there all night. mommy sleeps in Mommy's bed, toddler sleeps in toddler's bed. (We co-slept a lot so it has been a slow transition). The biggest thing I discivered last week was that when he wakes in the middle of the night and wants me, I go in and comfort him, fix his covers etc., but I don't get into bed. I go back to my bed, and if he still cries for me I jsut call out to him from my room. We had resisted this for so long b/c we didn't want to wake our older daughter, but she sleeps right through all of his racket. Basically, hearing my voice has provided him enough reassurance and he goes back to bed on his own. It was a rough start to the week, but now he is either sleeping through the night or just waking briefly. Good luck.
HI A.,
I think it's probably a phase. Actually I hope it is because my husband and I are going through the same thing with our 3 yr old son. I will put him to bed (we have a routine too; sing, read a book and have a little chit chat about the day then kisses). Sometimes when I hug him he won't let go and he says "Don't go mom, I want you to stay".
Our son only wants me. Sometimes I go back into his room, but I don't do the "routine" again. I ask him why he's crying and try to calm him, but I don't make it as much fun the second time around. Sometimes in order to stop the crying and calling of "MOM", I send my husband up. Our son usually stops crying once he knows mom isn't going to come back and if he keeps crying dad is going to come. Trust me it isn't easy in our house either, but I'm pretty sure it will pass.
Best of luck,
B.
I would go in and check once and tell her "mommy will see you in the morning, love you" and then that would be it. No water, hugs bathroom unless really has to go and no absolutely not sleeping in "mommy's bed" and make sure she knows you love her and not ignoring her for the new sibling.
