Help with 3.5 Yr Old Waking in Night

I hate to say it but I think you need to start ignoring him! Desperate times call for desperate measures! You may have a few (more!) sleepless nights and your daughter will probably be awoken, but if you keep getting up to get him, he will only continue and this will get worse!!

Mom son has had a few phases of doing this kind of thing as well and we take the "Super Nanny" approach and give him one extra tucking-in, good night kiss, etc... the second time he is put back with a curt, "it's bed-time". Third time is silent... no eye contact, no acknowledging the behavior, etc.

Are you talking with him, pleading with him to go to bed, reading him another story or singing another lullaby? If you don't think you can just ignore the calls for help, think about what you might be doing that he is liking... and cut those things out. No staying with him and cuddling some more, no extra bedtime story, no talking...

Then, when it's NOT bedtime, ask him about it. See if something is bothering him. Maybe a new lovie or teddy bear will help him stay in his bed? A nite-light? Perhaps you can find something to keep him in the bed. Good luck! I know it's trite but "it's just a phase" and he will probably grow out of it if you can be diligent!

I agree with the mom before my response, ignore. Although, one change I would make would be to put the gate in his doorway so he cannot get out of his own room. Is he in a crib or bed? I told my son one night after he kept getting up I would put his crib back together and put him in it if he did not stop. It worked that night. Good luck I know how you feel, I have a son who if he hears the slightest noise he is in our room and I have to put him back. He is slowly getting better, he has a nightlight and water every night and that has helped.

When this happens at our house, this is what we do with our dauther: first time, take her by the hand and tell her its night time, tuck her in, give a kiss, say goodnight. Second time, take her by the hand, tuck her in say goodnight. Third time, take her by the hand, tuck her in and leave without saying anything. If she cries or complains the last time, I put my finger to my lips to signal "shhh" and wave bye, bye. Third time is total silence. It usually never gets beyond that point. If you do this a couple nights in a row, he will get the idea.

My older daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was a week shy of 4 yrs old. I can tell you we tried every thing. And if you are only having him do it 3 times a night, you are lucky. For her it was between 2 and 20 times a night.

Finally out of desperation I took milk and all milk products out from her diet. There was a study published in 01 or 02 that had shown that frequent night wakings was a sign of hidden milk allergy. By that point I had tried every other method and nothing had worked, so I had nothing to lose.

After 5 days without milk she started sleeping through the night. After 6 nights of solid sleep I decided to test the theory and see if it was just a fluke, or if it was really the milk. I overloaded her with milk, ice cream, cheese, yogurt, etc. That night she was up 6 times.

We learned that she could have ONE cup of milk a day, but no later than lunch. Any more or any later and we were in trouble. Now she is 9 1/2 and sleeps great. I am so glad that those bad nights are done.