Help with 2 Year Old

Being a grandmother of five grandsons myself, I can imagine that your MIL would never discipline her granddaughter the way she might have disciplined her own children when they were two years old, but might be saying to her, "you are acting like I don't love you any more," or "why do you do/say that -- you know how that hurts Grandma"! That woman needs to realize what's going on. Perhaps you could sit down with her and tell her what your daughter is saying and ask if she has a suggestion. Grandmas love to be asked for advice!! Of course, you are merely trying to make a point. Good luck!

Hi A.. I'm K.. Mother of 5 and new Nanna to one. There's a reason it's called the terrible twos. I dont think that's the whole thing here. I've been through and seen a lot and it sounds to me like your daughter is possibly having "Night Terrors" and they might involve Grandma which could explain her recent statements. Night Terrors are different from a nightmare. Nightmares are, by definition, scary. But upon waking any child will have difficulty remembering why the dream was so frightening and can usually be soothed back to sleep just knowing mommy or daddy are there to protect them. With Night Terrors, your child will appear as awake as a person can be. Eyes open, rolling around in the bed or running around the room and even trying to flee the bedroom or even the house in sheer terror to include screaming from fright and registering no recognition of you or daddy. She's not awake and she doesn't see you at all. If this happens often, you may want to take her to the pediatrition to rule out any physical cause for this. If you Google Night Terrors, there is a lot of good info to help you decide if this sounds like a potential cause for her behavior. Her aggressiveness may be a simple cry for attention. Now might be a good time to talk to her about "positive" and "negative" attention. Good luck with her on this. Keep reminding yourself that this too shall pass.

At about 1 1/2 years old my son started having night terrors. They happened more frequently when he was overly tired. My 1st instinct was to hold him but they made it even worse. Her night issues sound alot like what he experienced.
They do grow out of them- my son is now 4 and has one every once in a while. I would google night terrors and see if you think that is part of the problem.

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In the eyes of a child...

When my daughter was 2 or 3 years old...maybe older, it's so hard to put a date on it now...she pulled awaw from all her grandparents. She had seen the Wizard of Oz and long story short, in talking to her I found out that she was terrified of witches. Her young mind made the association of wrinkles with witches. She thought all her grandparents were witches! We talked it out and in a short time she was back to normal around them.

My point is, you never know how your child is attempting to connect the dots on something they don't quite understand. Maybe she got a glimpse of a show or a conversation about divorce or a dad that left and didn't come back. Kids are listening and paying attention when you least expect it.

Good luck and God bless!

It is sounding she is not dealing with things around her like you said. You and your husband need to have a good talk and try veru hard to understand what this child is seeing and hear around her. I feel she must be feeling so much confusion and yes she is upset of all of it.
Work together and love her.
That is what she needs most.
Maybe take her places by herself with you and Dad just for a while and show her beautiful things of life.
And listen to beautiful sounds like songs and nature.
Just maybe this will help her slowly know that you and daddy love her always.
Yes I feel His mom needs to understand in a kind way what is happening.
Show her working together with this child is a little easier than by your self.
I just hope this will give you and idea of a precious child who soon will be a young lady.

Have a good day Today

Vicki W.

"she will kick and move around in the bed and sometimes her eyes are open but she is not awake"

Sounds like it COULD be a seizure. Could also be something else. Start with a your pediatrician for a medical checkup. After that, a psychologist. Even if your daughter is physically normal, you and your husband need some help discussing this. At least you need some help staying sane, so go without him if you must.

i went through a similar spell with my now 6 year old when she was 3 (for a few months) and then again when she turned 4 (for a few months). I asked my sister who has older kids and she said her pediatrician told her this can happen every year or so, has something to do with development. But we had the same thing--she turned against her grandmother who she loves and who is wonderful (but only temporarily). She's always been a great sleeper but started getting up in the middle of the night, crying, etc. I tried everything but eventually it just passed. I will say that I think it may have to do with getting older and while that's exciting, it's also scary and overwhelming. So I would tell her, you are bigger now and that's great, but you're still mommy's baby and mommy takes care of you, etc. Good luck!

These might be two separate issues. She might be having night terrors, and it needs to be discussed with her pediatrician.

As far as the grandmother, it could be a response to the sudden change in GMs behavior toward your daughter. At her age, things are quite simple, black and white. She doesn't yet have the capacity to describe how being jumped on makes her feel except to say she doesn't like GM any more.

it's called the terrible 2's and yes you can stop it. tell her that bad girls dont get special treats. and i would let her be with grandma more if you can so she will see that she does like her. the main thing is when she is bad take away her toys and don't let her have them back for a day or two until she does better. i had six children in 8 years im now grandma to 5 with one on the way. good luck an may god bless. penny d

A., I know this is a little after the fact but you've got several things going on here that need to be addressed. First of all, you state that your MIL just started reprimanding your daughter. This must be a terrible shock to the little girl and, naturally, she is going to react negatively to this.

She is potty training...

Without sounding the voice of doom, these things combined could well be the source of her night restlessness instead of more ominous health factors.

You need to get your husband in your corner. DO NOT tell your MIL what your daughter is saying. But you might want to ask her to back off of correcting her. Let her know you appreciate her concern for your daughter but you feel too many people correcting her can be confusing.

Lastly, you need to get her out of your bed. This, right now, can cause even more problems than you have already seen but, if you do not do it now, it will only get worse in the future.

Hi A.! I know how difficult and frustrating it can be to have issues like this. First of all my advice is to stay calm. If your daughter is simply seeking attention you should ignore the behavior as much as possible. Secondly you should model the correct behavior for her (I hope that you are not speaking negatively about your mother in law). Or your daughter may just be going through a phase and all she really needs is for you to be there with consistency and direction (not to be confused with giving in to her every whim). I see a lot of parents go wrong by thinking that giving a child everything they want exactly when they want it is going to make the child happy. In the end everyone is unhappy including the child. Another thought would be a play date with other kids her age to show her that other kids can have attention at the same time as her and its ok. Maybe you could find a few other stay at home moms who might want to meet at the playground or something like that. Like the other response said... this to shall pass.

Talk to your pediatrician. There may be more going on than simple jealousy, especially if this behavior is fairly new and abnormal.

The one thing that jumps out at me is that it sounds like your daughter sleeps with you and your husband. Is this true? If so, that needs to stop. Of course, she realizes daddy goes to work in the morning if she is sleeping with you guys. And the "crazy" sleeping?? Both of my children are "break dancers" in bed. That's why I never slept with them. LOL!! And the eyes being open while sleeping? That's me!! I've done that since I was little and there's been a time or two when my husband told me that I STILL do that. As for your daughter not liking her grandmother, it does sound like jealousy. But instead of sitting the grandmother down, I would FIRST sit down you daughter and gently talk to her. Ask her WHY she doesn't like her grandmother. And don't ever MAKE HER stay at her house if she doesn't want to. I know you want your daughter to feel she can trust you. Listen very careful to your daughter. I hope this helps.