Help with 14 Month Old Gagging Himself

I have a friend who's son did the same thing. All they did with him is hold his hands down when he was upset. He eventually got over it and quit doing that.

Ignore it! Pack extra clothes and baby wipes when you are going somewhere, but do not give him attention over this. Give him plenty of attention at other times. Don't resort to hot sauce, there is no need for that. He will eventually stop this behavior if it does not get him what he wants - a reaction from you.

my first born did this, we overly reacted by telling her loudly not to do it and kept taking her fingers away...anyhow, she liked the attention. So we started to ignore it. My husband said if she didn't stop he'd put "chile" --hot spicy Mexican sauce on her fingers, or lemon, or rubbing alcohol. He didn't because I didn't let him and she eventually stopped. We didn't punish her. But i did give her TONS of attention and that's when I noticed that when I wasn't giving her attention-she'd try it again, but I kept on ignoring it. Basically she either learned that this isn't the way to get my attention - or - she grew out of it. Maybe it was just a stage/phase?
-S

It might be the hardest thing to do is to let your kid throw up and not rescue him, I tell you we put up with my son doing this for 7 long yrs, finally I just let him throw up alsom choke to death, but I did not run to his rescue nor lcean him up, he slept in his vomit all night long and the next day he had to clean it all up, it was the last time he did it. It was so hard I creid in the other room, but worth every gross chunk of vomit.

Good Luck

S.,

I hope that you can resolve this problem soon. My daughter did the same thing, and it drove us nuts. It is usually a manipulation tool and they know just when to get you. THe way I solved the problem was when she started getting upset and not getting her way, I would say "If you choose to throw up, you will clean it up" So of course she did it anyway. (we were at home) so I handed her a bunch of paper towels. Of course she didn't do it well and I helped, but she had an unpleasant experience, and thought twice about doing it the next time. It took a few times of her cleaning the mess and helping with the laundry and the problem was gone.
Good luck to you!

my little girl would scream herself to puke when angry, too. She did not use her fingers, she would just scream and cry so hard, she would vomit. One day we left the kids with a new babysitter who happened to be a special education teacher. I informed her of Tessa's puking issue just so she wouldn't think she was sick. When Tessa started with this, she turned on the TV and said "I can't hear the TV when you cry, can you??" and she talked her out of puking!! I was aghast, because I then realized that she could control it. I worked really hard to talk her out of future situations by redirecting her...It takes a lot of effort and preplanning (I took several extra toys along with me in the diaper bag, I kept special snacks on hand that she doesn't usually get, etc) and eventually she grew out of it. It really is hard and takes alot of energy. I even resorted to threatening to take away favorite toys and the beloved "Barney time" if she vomited (which, I probably should not have done but it worked at the time.)

So, ignore when you can, redirect when you can't... It is a phase, but you will need to help him work through it until he has the words to accurately communicate his feelings. Make sure that you are acknowledging his feelings ("I know you want to knock over brother's tower, but he is working on making it bigger...let's make another one for you to knock down" and stuff like that. That will at least give him the feeling that you know what he wants and you will do your best to help him. Good luck with this messy problem!

Hi S.. We had this problem with my youngest daughter as well. When ever she was unhappy about something, she would gag herself and cause herself to vomit. She did this the most when we would put her in her crib to sleep. She wanted to sleep with us! Our doctor also told us to ignore it. Which I might add is not so much the ped giving "parenting advice" as assuring you that it is not a medical condition and is instead a behavioral issue. That does not mean that ignoring it is the only thing to do to handle it.
We tried to ignore the behavior for a while, but I got pretty sick of cleaning up vomit and decided to go another route. So even though it took effort and time, we decided to stop her from doing it every time she attempted. We usually saw it coming, so we would push her hand away from her mouth as soon as it headed there and firmly say "NO" and "Don’t put your fingers in your mouth". Over and over again.. it irritated her, but she got the point. After some time we only had to say "Don’t put your fingers in your mouth.." for her to stop herself. After about a month or two she stopped trying to do it all together.
Try some different strategies.. different methods work for different children!

I hope you find something that works for you and your son gets over the phase soon! Take care...

Ignore it. The minute you start responding he's won the power struggle. As soon as he figures out that it won't work for him he'll knock it off. In the meantime what about some of those large oversized art smocks for car rides?

I remember a news article about a baby who died from a parent putting hot sauce in his mouth. Dont do it.

Talk to your pediatrican. I would ignore it but also observe him to find out what triggers those fits, and whether he's actually having a seizure or worst right before he vomits.

If its plain putting his fingers in his mouth, let him. And when he's covered in vomit, clean it off him, act really non-chalant about it because if he's doing it for your attention, he's hoping you will react as if youre upset by it.

Hi S., I'm not a doctor, but you do not let a baby sit in his vomit, nor do you ignore it, I am apauled by all ther advice that comes through mama sourse advising parents to ignore bad or negative behavior. He's not gaging himself for attention, I'm sure he is having a fit, cause he is not getting his own way, so that's what you address, he throws a fit lay him in his crib/playpen, every time. be consistant, in the car take a change of clothes for just in case, when the fits stop the gagging himself will stop. This about this, what kind of schools would we have if bad/negetive behavior was ignored, how much worse would soceity be if the law ignored bad.negetavie behavior? address things asthey come up, nip bad behavior in the bud, and pick your your battles. J.

I am so sorry this must be hard for you. I know my son does this fake cough and puts his fingers in his mouth as if to gag himself. I do agree with trying to not draw a lot of anxious attention to it like the doctor said but I would go about it in a different manner. Your little boy is feelings overwhelmed and is trying to do something to cope with these very intense feelings. If you parent during this time and give him attention you are NOT teaching him to be "bad" you are giving him what he needs. All kids have there times when they become "high needs kids" it does not mean he is a bad kid or you are a bad mother, it is human nature. Think of these as mini panic attacks and in the time of a panic attack a person needs soothing and calm. Speak in a soft calm voice, maybe rub his back and tell him it will be alright and he is loved and safe. I ask my son if he would like a hug and then I rub his back. You do not have to give in to what ever he wants but never take away your support and love. If you can model soothing behavior your son can eventually self soothe however right now he does not have the coping skills to handle these emotions so you will role model them for him. Think of it as a "time in" versus a time out. I have worked with kids that have a hard time being close to someone when they feel panicked. They need their own little comfy spot for "time ins" with a blanket, or teddy bear or book, maybe some calm music but even more important a strong loving adult nearby who can help them feel safe. Please do not put any type of hot sauce or anything on his fingers. He is already scared and helpless this will escalate the situation. Good luck! Be patient and this will pass.
M. Carrillo, MS, LMFT

www.supportfornewmothers.com

While working towards my major in Family Science, I did a research paper on this particular subject. I will just share a quick tidbit of it.

There is a sensation of peace that follows throwing up that babies, as well as eating disordered teenage girls, can get addicted to. Make SURE your son is getting enough attention and that he doesn't start turning to this to "fill" up emptiness inside.

Hopefully it is just something gross he discovered, a passing phase, that he is currently impressed with and it isn't something he is doing to make up for something missing. For children who do this to make up for something, they are usually raised by mothers who suffer from emotional deprivation-the control freak kind that do things mechanically and experience little joy.

S.,

I'd never let my kid sit in vomit but I'd be very matter of fact about it and just clean him up and get on with things.

It is hard to not let things like this get to you but you don't want to reinforce behaviors you don't want. And gagging yourself isn't a great behavior to have. Negative attention is still attention so it is important to not get upset and give it more power than it already has.

At 14 months old, pretty much everything is a stage. Hopefully this is a stage that will pass quickly.

And for the record, I'd never put hot sauce of anything on the tips of his fingers. First of all, I'm not a fan of causing my kids pain and second, I'd be too afraid he'd rub it in his eyes.

Frustration is big at 14 months old, they understand way more than they can communicate. But I've found that talking to my kids really helps. Warning them about what is coming up when we change from one activity to another is really helpful. They understand what you are saying much earlier than they learn to talk. You might be surprised how much your son will understand when you talk to him.

Good luck,
T.

My first thought was, hot sauce, also. You should try it. People use it to deter nail biting also.

Hi S.! I haven't had this particular problem but I thought of a couple of things. First of all, make sure to brush his teeth not too long afterwards. You don't want him to have a problem with that later on. Also, whenever I have a problem with my daughter that is significant. I choose a time when we're both happy and in good communication to talk to her about it. Tell him why it's a bad idea - that he's hurting his own body. Then if you see him starting to do it again remind him of the talk you had - not angry or anything, just with a lot of intention. Combined with others' advice this should help too. Good luck!

Hi S., your son will stop gagging himself when he realizes it doesn't work. Try not to react at all. Don't get angry or give him what he wants. I know that can be difficult especially when you're late for an appointment or something but it shouldn't take more than a few times before he gets the picture. I'd carry wipes and clothes everywhere you go just in case. When he does it just be calm about it and give him a natural consequence such as "Now we're going to be running late so we won't have time to watch your show, or go to the park" or whatever he likes to do. It needs to be an inconvenience to him as well. Trust me it won't last. I suppose you could cover your car in some kind of plastic wrap until the phase passes! Good Luck.

L.

please don't put hotsauce on his fingers, it's so cruel. have you tried watching him closely to see what happens right before he does it and then once you know be mindful of it and talk to him or refocus his attention elsewhere before it gets to the fingers in the throat state? if he vomits in his carseat you obviously have to clean that up, I would ignore the just ignore it advice. I would really work on redirecting his attention, he's so young, while you dont want to make a big deal out of the vomit and not caving, it's just if you can engage in preventative measures he may learn that he can be engaged without vomit, that's all he probably wants (but I'm assuming here).

my 2 year old does that too. Don't do the hot sauce thing that is cruel really. try this instead. buy a toy bar that attaches to his carseat so he is entertained. they even have things that you can control via remote from the front seat to play music etc. Babies r us has some. maybe even put a portable dve player int he car and buy a barney video or something and he can watch that when you are driving. It is pretty colorful with the purple and rainbows and seems to hold the attention of a young one. Do not make a fuss if he does do it just clean him up and proceed. We are doing that and it is decreasing. good luck

S.,
I agree with your doctor. It is hard with the scenario you gave but I suggest bringing another set of clothing with you and plenty of wipes. Maybe you can put a liner in the carseat so your car and car seat aren't ruined. The hot sauce sound like a great idea but the application might be difficult because I am sure he puts his fingers in his mouth at other times too, not just when he is gagging himself. Good luck.

they do make something like no thumb (or something like that) to get kids to quit sucking their thumbs. maybe try that.. wow i really dont even know how i would tackle something like that... i would say give him something to numb his throat a little bit but thats too much of a choking hazard. try the no thumb sucking stuff hopefully that will work.

S.,

My son used to do this once and awhile when he was about that age. He used to think it was hysterical and we just ignored it. If he continued to do it and absolutely would not stop I would firmly say no and then put him in his bed for a timeout. He was doing it for attention. They do get over it. My son is now 3 1/2 and I don't remember it lasting very long. It will stop. Good luck.

L.

This is really hard, you can't ignore him, nor can you stick hot sauce on his hand, however, hot sauce sometimes work.
At this point I would probably try the ignoring, and be consistancy thing. Do not give in to his fits, not even a little, kids are smarter then ppl give them credit for and they will see thru everything.They will also try as much as possible to get away w/ as much as they can. What ever you do, do not buy them things ie: toys, candy, etc to be good, this just makes them keep doing what ever their doing. Just stick to your guns, although at times will be hard, but in the end, it will work, believe me. You also need to make sure everyone he has contact w/ does the same, he can't go to Dad and get his way or anyone else, everyone has to know to be strong and stick together. You'll see it will get better.

Hi S.,

This happened to me. Daughter was doing the same thing for attention at I think the same age. When I would hear her start gagging, I would tell her no...from the driver's seat. Yeah, she did it a few times in the car, with one or two times where she did throw up all over herself. If this happened where I was close to her, I'd pull her hands out of her mouth and tell her "NO". My mother would tell her "oh, those hands are in your mouth again". Amazingly, she would immediately get her hands out of her mouth. All I remember about this is just telling her "NO" with a strong tone in my voice and it hasn't happened anymore. I didn't want to ignore it especially when driving because it was really stressful for me in the car while driving in traffic...plus the smell made me want to gag with her!

Good luck!

I would avoid using hot sauce, if he gets it in his eyes that wouldn't be so good. they do sell a nail polish that is bitter to deter nail biting. I don't know if that would help keep fingers out of the mouth all together. I would ignore the tantrums (making sure he won't hurt himself) and when he does vomit I would clean it up and send to his room or time out (even in the car, just leave the ac blowing and roll windows down, music off, step outside the car where you can see him and let him sit in his chair for a couple minutes.) While cleaning him up don't be emotional, just act matter-of-factly. He may be seeking any sort of reaction from you ('see what a fun game! If I do this then I can make mommy act this way') I would make it routine that if he acts out and vomits then he may not hang out with the family and do fun things until he calms down. But you have to do what fits your family. All in all, ignore the tantrum or send him to his room to finish his tantrum. Clean the vomit off (I would be concerned about rashes.) Good luck!

My son did the same thing and I remeberhow scary it was. He'd do it in his highchair, in a resturaunt, and in his carseat. Mostly out of anger from being restrained and not from attention. Even at those times when we tried to prevent it by showering him with attention he'd still do it. He out grew it in less than 6 months, but those 6 months were still hard. We always cleaned him up and tried not to yell at him about it since that would make him start doing it again. I would definately say no to the hot sauce for this case though. I think its good for older children with nail biting and such, but it'd be really easy for him to get it in his eyes, and that would be really painful for the little guy.
Good luck!

My sister used to do this when she your son's age. When my mom would put her down in her crib for the night, she'd purposely gag herself and make herself throw up because she didn't want to go to bed. The way my mom handled it was to just stay matter of fact about it, clean her up, kiss her goodnight and put her back in bed. It took several days of being consistent but eventually my sister gave up when she saw that it wasn't getting her what she wanted. Kids are smart that way. :-) I'm not sure I agree with your Dr. about letting him sit in the vomit. That seems pretty cruel to me.

Good luck!!

Are you kidding me? Ignore him? Sit in vomit? Go with your instinct on this one. (I hate when our pediatrician gives parenting or discipline advice - they don't teach that in medical school, so Doctors aren't any more qualified to give this advice than your girlfriends. I ask a medical question, I want a medical answer.) But anyway, your little boy is only 14 months old. Of course he wants "attention." What is wrong with that? He's still a baby! We parents are busy, we can't always give our kids the attention they want/need/deserve, but that doesn't mean we should call the desire for attention "bad behavior." I have no experience with your particular problem, and it does sound awful and hard to live with on a number of levels, but I would go with your instinct and give your son more attention, not less. No necessarily as a reaction to the incident, but just in general. And definitely don't turn your back on him and let him sit in vomit. That will only teach him that he can't trust his parents to take care of his needs. It looks like from what everyone else has said that he'll grow out of this. I wish you much luck in the interim, and I'd say for a kid this young, err on the side of affection, and not withdrawal.

My son did the exact same thing at the exact same age and basically I was told to do nothing; his self-gagging was a way of getting attention when he was bored. I know it's frustrating, embarassing (in public situations) and messy but we ignored it and eventually he did stop doing it. We made sure to have Pampers Clean & Go wipes handy in the car, in his diaper bag, at home and in the office so we could clean him up easily. I wouldn't put anything on your son's fingertips because he will suffer in the short run with the obvious discomfort hot sauce will bring on and in the long run, he actually may get used to having unusual tastes in his mouth and that can definitely be dangerous. Besides, why punish your son for wanting a little extra attention? He's still a baby; he's still learning to cope with his emotions like frustration and boredom. He will grow out of it, I promise, mine did. Good luck to you!

I used a teeny bit of hot sauce for biting which stopped that. You could try lemon juice too.
Sitting in vomit is just bad hygeine! At that age just give him a firm no, dirty, etc. You can sit him in the bathtub (without water) while you clean up the mess and this will not give him any extra attention for a few minutes.
Be sure to up his attention in positive ways and other times.

Oh yes, he is trying to get his way by using manipulation. Always keep extra clothes in the car and when he does it, don't respond verbally. Husbands have a harder time with this sometimes but make him follow the routine. Just change his clothes and move on. If he does it again, do the same thing. My son is a big "I want your attention all the time" kid and I find that when I make a big deal about it, it gets worse and he got his way. I am emotionally upset for the next hour and he is over it in 5 minutes so try to stay calm. One other note: don't try and "talk" to a 14 month old baby. They don't understand that they are hurting themselves or anyone else. They don't have that reasoning yet. Hope this helps!

S.