Help W/ Staff Members

Just a couple questions to begin with - Has she always skipped a morning nap then taken an afternoon nap and a late afternoon catnap? Who is this schedule for - your best interests or your child's best interests?

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about having my child on a routine or a schedule. I think it is very important that children know what to expect out of their day AND receive adequate sleep that is needed. A lot of research will indicate that an 8 month old will typically still be taking a shorter morning nap and a longer afternoon nap. Additionally, most children that age should be receiving a nap after 2-3 hours of wakefulness in the morning. I think it is disrespectful to her sleeping needs to force her to stay awake. If she's falling asleep on the floor then she is obviously tired and needs a nap. Furthermore, forcing her to stay awake could be the root of the night-waking problem due to being overtired. You may wish to read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth as it is based on over 30 years of infant/child sleep research. It may even be able to assist you with the night issues you've been having.

If you're that dissatisfied with this childcare option then you may feel more comfortable changing to another place. Despite an age difference, I like to keep an open mind when my childcare staff members discuss childcare with me since they've likely dealt with many, many children.

My response comes as much from a mother's point of view as a former Daycare Teacher (infant room). First of all, if you're in Ohio, 2 teachers to 12 infants is within the guidelines, that's the max, but it is "in-ratio" (1:5 or 2:12). Second, in their defense, if you are to trust these people with your daughter, you have to give them some space to make judgement calls of their own. In most cases they should do their best to do what you ask, but you have to have some flexibility to allow for the other children in the room. If your daughter is so tired that she falls asleep on the floor - she needs a nap. She shouldn't be left on the floor - she should be moved to her assigned crib, but it sounds like she's still recovering. Keep in mind that they are responsible for juggling 11 other babies and their schedules. If you were home alone with her it might be manageable for her to fuss and cry for the sake of going back to her schedule, but with the daycare situation you have to work with them, and be a little more flexible (I am not in anyway saying that you are a doing anything wrong by working - I just am saying when it's 1:1 it's a lot different). If you think that this staff member was being disrespectful and put her down for a nap as a way of manipulating you, you should discuss it with the center director. If you think that she was just trying to meet the needs of your daughter, let it go. Talk to her about the steps you need to take together to get your daughter back on a schedule that works. If she is being rude to you - you should talk to the director. Just don't discount the staff because they are young - childcare is a low-paying, high-stress, job that, at least in this state, only requires a high school diploma so it attracts young women (and some men). But even young women are good at this job - most of the people I worked with were 25 or younger - we had a few part-time employees who were former stay-at-home moms and some retired school teachers. If you don't trust them - get out of there. I know it's frustrating- but that's the big downside to daycare vs. in-home care. Good luck - I hope everything works out.

I understand that you have a schedule at home, but you really can't hold the daycare staff responsible for making sure you don't have to get up at night. They can try to accommodate you, but they're not the same as personal babysitters or nannies. They have lots of other kids to manage, and it may just not be possible to spend time making sure your daughter doesn't sleep at certain times.

They can try, but she really couldn't tell you that she definitely could do that. It's most likely a promise that they can't keep. If there are 12 kids and 2 teachers, that means each teacher has six kids that she is reponsible for. Crying, eating, spitting up, keeping them out of trouble, diaper changes etc., are all things that would take precedence over what you're asking. I understand your situation of not wanting to have to wake up at night or have your son be awakened, but not to be harsh, but that's the nature of having more than one child. And honestly, put yourself in her shoes. If she makes special arrangements with you now based on what you want your sleep schedule at home to be, how can she say no to the next parent or the next one or the next? The best policy is to treat everyone the same unless there is some serious (like health-related reason) not to.

...LF

My daughter is also in daycare. Yes, they should try to abide by what you ask of them, but they also have set schedules for naps, as well as eating, playing, changing etc. I know where my daugher goes, their schedule for naps are between 12:30-2:30. If a child is tired before then, they'll place them in a crib before that time. So, its not super strict, BUT they do have to follow some sort of a schedule. I do have to say, the girl is right, they do usually have a high ratio (12:2 sounds about right) so it really isn't realistic to watch and be with an individual child for a long period of time. It sounds like maybe you should look into a private sitter because daycares really can't work one on one with each child, its just not possible. In home, or a private sitter can follow a schedule better, but asking a daycare to do something like that isn't really possible since they have a set schedule they follow. Also, I am not sure what time you are wanting your daughter to take a nap, but if she is going more than 4 hours without one, at her age, it may be doing more harm than good. She may be getting up at night because she is not getting the rest she needs during the day, hence, it's making her more prone to not rest good at night. If I may make a suggestion, try getting her to do the morning and a late afternoon nap. If she is waking up late in the afternoon (after 4 or 5pm) it's probably messing her up if she is expected to go to bed at 7:30PM. try either cutting out the 4 or 5 pm nap and have her take a mid morning nap (10 or 11 am for 30 mins to an hour) then again in the afternoon, say 1-2:30, 1-3, but I really try no later than 3 as a wake up.

just wanted to mention, also that in my experience, when a child is sleeping "too much" or what we might consider to be too much, it can also mean that she is growing, and their little bodies put a lot of energy into growing. and just think about all of the changes her little body is going to be going through in the next 2 months alone, if she's eight months now, in the next two months she is going to get considerably taller, and most likely learn to walk, and maybe even pick up a few words.

I know how important schedules are, but ifa little one can sleep a 12 hour night and wake up and still need a nap in the early morning, she is tired, and you have to let nature take its course sometimes, so don't try to beat nature, just relax, and she'll work this out in her own time!

Hope I helped, sorry I'm late in responding!

:)

I understand what you are saying about her schedule. I am also a young mother, but from my experience she will get back on schedule herself in little time. As for the daycare, trust me, I've had some touchy conversations with daycare workers in the past - not fun!!! - but with this I might have to side with them. If she is cranky, it is going to make them cranky and who here wants a cranky babysitter?!? I did notice as well that in a daycare setting that if one baby started to cry, they all would get upset. I agree with the others, if she is falling asleep on the floor, she needs the rest. She may not be visibly sick, but her body may still need some r&r. It should go back to normal soon.

Good Luck,
M.

I owrke din a daycare and I dont think you are being demanding at all. We alwayr had to follow the parents wishes. Its not much to ask to try to at least keep your child awake. Remember, you are paying them to watch your kid. If the girls in your daughters room wont listen then go to the direstor of the daycare. They will be very upset that their employees would even consider saying that to you.

Also, you said that there are 2 girl in a room with 8 infants??? This is not right. When I worked in the infant room the ratios had to be 1 daycare provider for every 3 infants.

Not only are thes girls not meeeting you wishes, the daycare is breaking the guidlines set by the state. I would talk to the director of this daycare.

Ok now I'm not trying to sound cocky either like you i'm 26 and was on my own with my 3 kids for a long time, and compared to the rest of the kids i went to school with i'm strict, now i'm a child care provider out of my home. from what i deal with every day and mind you i only have 5 kids here at a time, it is almost impossible to make a child do anything. i have a little girl that i watch that i have since 2 months old she's now one, and to keep her up when she is tired is terrible for everyone involved, she cries and is miserable and it just isn't fair to expect a sitter to do that on purpose. Now i do think they should work with you, but it might take awhile, and they do have thier own scheduals to follow as well. so be patient and discuss the issue with them openly and see when she is sleeping there and work with what you can. good luck.

Well, I think a child being on a schedule is very important. My daughter has been on one since about 8 weeks old. I think 12:2 ratio would be very difficult though as the worker. Maybe a private sitter would work better for you? We have a sitter for my daughter and it works out GREAT! She's VERY accomodating. She gets alot of one on one time, play time, nap time is the same everyday, snuggle time, all of it. I think it's important to like the person/people that are helping you with your children. I personlly think they should work at what you're asking for, not just what suits them. Maybe switching centers? I'm sorry I havent' been any help here, but good luck!

You are never wrong for requesting a little cooperation with your daycare. If you put your kids in a daycare, they need to bend to your children, and be able to give individual attention and requests. Ir makes me think--if a child is allergic to something, would they offer that food anyways because every child eats it. It's not fair. You just need to be stern with the people--if they aren't willing to honor a simple nap request, then it's time to find another daycare.
NEL