Just like clothing and jewelry accessories--Less is More!!!
When washing smaller clothing items like whites: socks, undies etc. I fill the washer about 3/4 full. For larger items like jeans and towels I go about 2/3 full. We've been married over 20 years now and have a family of 5. I'm still using the same washer and dryer that we purchased with our wedding money. I take care of my appliances and they take care of me :)
It's also a rule in our house that all pockets must be emptied, pants buttoned and zipped and all clothing turned right side out before going in the laundry chute. Whatever is left in a pocket belongs to me!!!!
Another note, if you haven't tried the Tide with Febreeze, I highly encourage that you do. My clothes smell wonderful, especially my husband's work clothes!!!
Split the household chores--you do laundry and he does the dishes etc. It will hopefully end the arguments--Good Luck!