Help They Won't Stay in Their Own Beds...

People have responded with good advice: marching them back with no pay-off of attention, using a gate, etc. A gate can sound mean, but you could also think of it as creating a huge play pen: their room. They've outgrown the crib (are those bars "mean"?) but they still need to be kept safe. Try to stay calm so they don't get a rise out of you. Much easier said than done!

Hi M.,
There might be an element of fun for the kids in doing this. Is there a payoff for them? They get more time with you, for one, and lots of attention. They're at an age when the world completely revolves around them.

And, how do you and your husband respond? Are you playful and fun or stern? One suggestion might be to scoop them up without talking, march them back to their room, explain your expectations, any consequences you feel are appropriate, and then leave the room. Until they know you mean business, they will continue the behavior.

Let the two of them sleep together.

My son started sleeping in a bed at 2 and I put a gate in the doorway. I mostly did this because I didnt want him waking up and wandering around the house for safety reasons. I see nothing wrong with the gate. I would rather put the gate up than close the door. The gate was a positive thing and never meant as a kind of punishment. I also still had his monitor in there as well so I could hear what he was doing. My son would wake up , maybe play for a little bit and then go back to sleep. I sometimes left a juice and crackers for him too so he could have a little snack and then go back to sleep.

do what supernanny says to do - just march them right back . don't talk to them, don't look them in the eye, just take their hand and walk right back to the bed.. if you have to do it 100 times, then do it . they will get the idea. putting a gate up isn't a bad thing either.. they can still call to you. you can try incentives for staying in bed too.. a special toy, sticker charts etc.. but stay with it and they will understand. good luck

Two of my girlfriends closed the doors and wouldn't let them out! I thought that was so extreme until I heard the whole story and realized they waited way too long to try the simple things, like the gait. The kids started sleeping at the door with their blankies, and then eventually ended up back in the beds (more comfortable). Kids are sooooo smart. They know what works and what doesn't. And, they know the bed is more comfortable than the floor! The gait may be torture if they can see you, but you can see them and know they are safe. If you do get them, DON'T bring them to your bed. Go somewhere else, or stay in their room, read another book, then back to bed. Are they in a crib??

We had the same problem when our son was 15 months old. We put a gate at the door to his room. We used the Ferber method (his new book). We had 2-3 very trying bed time routines. It was very hard to hear him screaming for us. Now, we put him right into bed and he stays there until morning.

I am in the same boat with my 3 year old daughter. Ever since my baby boy was born and she moved from a crib to a bed, she has been coming into our bed in the middle of the night and continues to do so. We have tried everything from tough love, punishment to rewarding the times she does stay with special treats. The later helps for a night or two and then we are back to square one. Help!

For my two year old I had to use a gate. What I would say is "if you don't stay in your bed then I will have to close the gate." I give him one chance, then the gate is closed. I know it sounds mean, but they need to know nighttime is for sleep and not wandering. Having your kids get the rest they need is more important- so focus on that instead of feeling bad! I always say "I love you and you need your rest." As for the one year old? That's a little young for a one year old to understand, but I would do the same thing. They really do need boundaries. Good luck. I know this is hard!

Hi M.,
Is your child tired enough to sleep? If they aren't staying in bed could there be sleep issues not behavior issues. Are they in a childcare setting during the day? If so, what is the alotted naptime? Many times children have trouble sleeping at night because they are given a nap that is far too long and they may not be expelling as much energy during the day that they should. Also, eating snacks before bed will keep them from slumbering off. My suggestion is to monitor naps, plenty of exercise, feed early and then when bed time comes, read a story and then line their bed with stuffed animals that will comfort them and make them feel safe. My son and I made it a nightly routine and lined up the"Tommy guards" before sleeping. It works!