Help!! Scared I Passed Cold Sore to My Toddler

yes, you were contagious and you may have passed it to your kid.

so don't do that again.

you're a mother. you're going to screw up. learn from it and move on. all of this ridiculous flapping and squawking about being 'scared' and 'failed at the most important time' (what was so important about THIS time) isn't good parenting, it's drama.

get a hold of yourself, treat the child's cold sore if it develops, and don't fall into a heap at the small stuff.

khairete
S.

I think that the bigger question is why are you so worried about this? Do you understand that the strain of virus that causes cold sores is not the same strain that causes venereal disease? And that most people (80% of Americans) have had a cold sore at least once in their life? And that the virus can spread even if it's not active, and therefore your son has been exposed to it many times before?

Even if he does get a cold sore, it's really not a huge deal. Just like it does with you, it will heal in a few days. In the overall course of what he'll experience in life, this is very minor. Do you feel this much anxiety when he has a cold or has scrapes or bruises? It may be worthwhile to work through some of these feelings with a professional.

It's possible that your toddler will get a cold sore. Now, let yourself go there. Allow yourself to think, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Your child gets a cold sore, right? Ok, that would be inconvenient and probably uncomfortable, but not really so bad, right? What if you gave him a cold. Well, colds aren't fun, but we all get them, and we all get better.

While none of us really like getting sick, and having a sick little one is a lot of work, it passes. They get better, and getting sick (being exposed to germs) helps to build up their immunity system. Getting a few colds now helps build up their resistance as they get older.

Our youngest started daycare when he was about 2 1/2, and he had A LOT of colds that first year. That was annoying, and my husband and I both had to miss work a couple of times so he could stay home. But!!! He was very rarely sick in kindergarten and almost never gets sick now (he's 9).

You might be protecting him from getting sick right now, but if he doesn't get sick now, he will get sick more often when he starts preschool and kindergarten because he will be exposed to all kinds of germs and will have no immunities to help me fight them off.

I would consider relaxing a little bit now. Let him get a cold or two. It will help save your sanity later.

I doubt he'll get a cold sore. But if he does, it's really not a big deal. Most of us will have a cold sore at some time. Do you remember the first time you had a cold sore? I was in grade school. And like you get one every once in awhile. They no longer last more than a couple of days. I think our immune system gets stronger with repeated exposure.

Try to find a way to relax. You will experience many things with your toddler over the years that are much more difficult. What will you do when he gets the flu or a really bad cold? How about when he's a teen and late getting home? You cannot keep him in a bubble. You cannot be constantly aware of what might happen when you forget. You are not perfect and that's OK!

Many, if not most kids drink out of mom's cup, use their mom's utensils, eat food off their plate. Kids build up their immune system with exposure to germs, even dirt.

This afternoon my daughter and her sister-in-law laughed about how much dirt they ate as kids and how healthy they still were.

Find a way to relax.

Breathe Momma :)

You could decide you're never going to share cutlery or bottles, period, but then you may as well say you're never going to kiss him either in case you're about to get tingly - right? (I think direct skin to skin is still the most transferable way to pass on the virus)

My friends with cold sores (I have two good pals) have not passed them on to their children or spouses. They take precautions when they have signs. You have not passed it on to your husband I'm assuming. So don't assume you are super contagious all of a sudden.

So I would just clarify things when you see son's pediatrician or your doctor next time - just so you feel better. Let it go for now. Breathe :) It will be ok I think.

I definitely understand that feeling of frustration when you have worked hard to avoid doing something (such as passing on germs) and then it happens. However, I think you need to evaluate more carefully how you respond to mistakes--or something you see as a mistake. You are talking about possibly having passed on a cold sore, not a life-threatening or debilitating illness. As Gidget suggested, what's the worst case scenario here? He gets a cold sore, is uncomfortable for a day or two (maybe), and then he's all better. This incident might be an opportunity for you to develop ways to calm your reactions to unwanted events, because this surely won't be the last time that an unexpected incident happens with your kid and you need to model proportionate responses for his sake.

I think you need to pick your battles with yourself. Beating yourself up over this is not one of those times. There are going to be waaaaaay worse things in the future than this virus and you need to be able to deal with them without jumping to failure.

Only time will tell.

If you did pass it on you will know eventually, and if that happens you will treat it.

This is, and has been, obviously important to you so I understand your frustration. However, it was a mistake and you're human.

As I read your question I found myself asking "why is this so important?" I wonder if you are self conscious about your cold sores, or may have been teased/treated badly because of them? Maybe you think everyone is looking at them (when you have an outbreak) and thinking badly about you? Is this why it is so important to you not to pass it on to your child? Do you feel like they will have to live through the things you feel you've had to endure because of a cold sore?

You have to let yourself off the hook!

You could spend your entire life worrying about this. Avoiding kisses, not sharing ice cream cones and other treats, and disrupting your life when you feel you may have messed up, and your child could still end up getting it from someone else anyways!

It is okay to be careful, anyone could understand that, but to beat yourself up so badly over a simple mistake? Your child was thirsty, you acted like a good parent and shared your drink, you did nothing wrong!

To actually answer your question, even though I hate to be the bearer of bad news, a cold sore can be transmitted to another even before it is visible. So it is possible to pass it along from the first tingling sensation.

HOWEVER, not everyone who is exposed to the virus will experience cold sore outbreaks! Most adults have come into contact with the HSV-1 virus and never had a cold sore. Cold sores are also EXTREMELY common, so even if you didn't pass it along, another could.

Basically, life is going to happen no matter how careful you are. I'm not telling you to rub a sore all over your childs face, but don't let it ruin your life!

Also, it is worth noting that stress causes outbreaks so maybe you were so worried about sharing your drink that you caused the outbreak after you shared with your child?

Good luck hun!

There's no way to know if he's caught it - you'll just have to wait and see if he gets a cold sore.
You could ask your pediatrician.
I don't know if there's any antiviral for this - your doctor might know.

Perhaps learning more about cold sores and the virus that causes them would help to relieve your anxiety about this.

I went through a period of time when I would get so many cold sores I couldn't keep up with them. I talked to my pharmacist and he said to take Lysine supplements. It worked, not only did the sores heal faster but I did not get them again.
Relax, parenting is an ongoing process, just like everything else. We try our hardest, some days we are great other days we are barely hanging on. We are human we all make mistakes. Stop beating yourself up. You are doing fine.