Hello. I doubt you want to hear this, but I'm going to say it anyways. Your son is mad about something, but does not know how to say it or doesn't want to say it. I grew up in foster home and crisis shelters, ran away a lot, and was very angry all the time. I also was a straight a student until 7th grade, then gave up and didn't care after that. I almost did not graduate because of it. I have step parents on both side, and really hated my parents growing up. I'm not a shrink, but here are some tips for you before anything else happens. Forcing him to see a counselor will only make things worse unless he wants to go. An alternative solution might be to enroll him in "Big Brothers/Big Sisters program" and set it up to be a weekly routine. Kids will open up more to someone who they feel comfortable around. You can request someone who can be a good influence on him and you'll be willing to listen to his problems. As for him acting out when he returns from his fathers, and not liking his step dad I'd have to say that something else is going on that your not seeing. I grew up hating my parents because everytime that I had to visit with one or the other, they were always talking bad about each other. It got to the point I told the judge I hated them both and never wanted to see them again. Mom and dad were always making comments about the other. None of it was ever good, and they always tried to play us kids (their's 10 of us) against each other. Needless to say I refused to go home anymore. And to this day I still don't talk to any of them. They only call when they want something from me, or want to fight and argue with me over something. I hope that you and your husband are not saying anything negative about your exhusband in front of or anywhere around the kids. Please keep all bad comments away from them. This will go a long way to make your son feel a lot better about being around you and your husband. Kids hate to be caught in the middle! The divorce should be kept between you and your exhusband, not the kids. I'm a single parent/soldier of 2 kids (Austin is 3 & Natalie is 7 months) and I have never said anything bad about their dads in front of them, nor will I ever. I know how it made me feel and I couldn't stand it, so I won't do it to them. Do you have a good relationship with your ex? I hope so. So far I'm still friends with mine. Some people just make better friends then lovers. At least for the kids sake. He's becoming a teenager now, which means everything you pulled as a teenager, he will probably try. I pulled a lot of stuff just because I was angry at my parents all the time. Good, bad, or indifferent start to spend at least an hour once a week with him!!!! Go for a walk, to the gym, have coffee, lunch, ice cream, run errands, or anything that he wants to do. The main point is just to listen. Let him do the talking this way you can figure out what's bothering him. Obviously he has something on his mind that you can't figure out or he won't say. Have your current husband, and even your ex do this with him also. Trust me, I will help. It just takes time. I hope this helps you out. Where or not my examples apply to your situation is for you to say.
