Help ! Out of Control Baby :)

L.,
I know what you are going through b/c my son started that at 10 months and still every once in a while at 2 has a major tantrum. We tried a couple of things..but redirecting sometimes worked. The other thing that worked (which we saw on Dr. Phil or something) was to tell you childs feelings to them. "I'm mad. I'm mad because I didn't get to (do whatever it was) at first he would look at us like we were crazy but he stopped-eventually when he was mad he would come to us to "voice his opinion". He was a late talker so it was helpful. I can't promise it will work..but its worth a try. Good luck.

Hello L.,
I have a 2 yr old who does that a lot and so does her 4 year old sister. Never at daycare though, but it's still annoying. We just leave her be. I know your natural instinct is to pick her up or comfort her because you feel you're neglecting her but you have to resist the urge. You're giving her attention if you do. Negative attention, but attention nevertheless. I know that, in my situation, when I work long hrs I feel my kids crave my attention and sometimes they resort to negative behavior to get that attention. Working does not necessarily have to detract from spending quality time with your child. I don't think it's the amount of time as much as the quality that you spend. I have found that when I take the kids on individual "dates" or just to the playground or something, they are so much more bahaved. With the rush of everyday life we forget to bond with our child. They are more willing to cooperate when they feel close to you.
Hope it helps.

I also say ignore it. When you are at home make sure she is in as safe a place as possible and let her go. It will take alot of time, patience and tears, but it has to be done. When you are out and it happens, leave immediately, put her in the car and IGNORE her. That means if you are at the grocery store and she starts, walk away from your cart and get out of the store. At first it will be a real pain, but your life will be so much easier if you get this under control now. When you are in the car, pull the car over and wait. Breath deeply, eventually she will call down. Good Luck

I know exactly how you feel!! I have a 1yr old and a 2yr old. The 2yr old started his fit throwing stage at 10 months as well. I got freaked out because he would bang his head on the crib and scream like he was bieng beaten and noone was even in the room with him. If I had known then what I know now, I would have done this sooner, but as I am just learning this now, and it's working for me, I will share what I have learned. Don't pick her up, don't get freaked out, and in fact, don't even aknowledge that you see what she's doing. If she gets you upset or you are afraid that she might, put her in her bed and walk away. It won't be easy, but stick to your guns and as soon as she stops, than you can deal with what it is she wants. Kids her age are desperate to communicate, but they arn't able, so when she's calmed down, ask her to point to the things she wants, and ignore her if she starts to scream and throw a fit, because if she sees that fit throwing is getting her way, she has no reason to learn to communicate in any other way. Tell her teacher the same thing, and hopefully, you'll have a new kid in a very short time. Good luck,sometimes it's a thankless job, but you will be allright.

Ignore Ignore Ignore. there is no better way to stop this behavior than just acting like it isn't happening. and stick to it. it'll get worse before it gets better, but this is just a stunt for attention. my son at about 9 months did the same thing only he would slam him head onto the floor too. Basically though if they can't get hurt just walk away it'll stop eventually. good luck.

I don't think you can stop them, but maybe reduce the number of them. Little ones are prone to tantrums because they don't yet have the language skills to communicate. In addition, children's brains have not devloped the ability to think rationally until around age 6 when they begin to. They are purely emotional creatures and lash out emotionally when something is not right in their world according to them. Maybe she throws more fits at daycare because she misses you. Then, she throws fits when you're around because she gets your attention. It's not wrong to give her the attention she needs. To her, it is a very real need.

Try to keep your cool. Be present when your child needs you. Don't ignore or abandon them. Allow your child an out by offering a hug occasionally (Don't be surprised if you are first rejected). Don't allow your child to hurt him or herself. If you really need a break from it, remove yourself from the child's presence temporarily, breathe and calm down. Try to determine if there is an underlying need like for food or sleep. Try to figure out your child's triggors and avoid them when possible. It's not possible to completely avoid tantrums because many times you just don't know what's wrong. I've been there myself and this is extremely frustrating. Just don't take it personally. Every child tantrums from time to time.

Here's an article that might help.

http://www.jalexlang.com/parenting/discipline.htm

Hi L.,

Your daughter wants an audience. I've been through this with both of my girls. Every time she acts this way, walk away from her. do NOT respond to the behavior. When my youngest daughter was about between 1 and 2 I had to same experience, I just stopped taking her out anywhere until I got the situation under control. If you keep ingnoring her she will stop because she's not getting the attention she's seeking, its hard but it works (eventually). Good Luck
K.

is there any way you can work part time instead of full time? i dont know why your little one throws tantrums but it might help to have a parent home with her more. and if your jobs are stressful and you bring stress or a bad mood into the home your baby can pick up on it. also, if you and your husband argue in front of her it may make it worse. you can try to make things more relaxing and structured for her. and very importantly make sure she is well rested. a nap might be all she needs. if it doesnt work i would just tell her doctor at her next visit. usually babies and small children go through fussy phases...or at least mine does. hope i could help.

L.,
I to an extent agree with the other mother's to ignore this type of behavior but because it happens so frequently there are times that it may be more difficult to do so. (day care, etc)
A couple of years ago I watched a special on 60 minutes or 20/20 about children acting as you have described. The parents tried everything with no success. What they ended up discovering was that the kids had allergies to common foods: milk, peanuts, certain fruits and preservatives used in some foods, etc.. Once they determined what the foods were and they were eliminated from the child's diet, they were fine. They also said it is very common and many times goes undiagnosed because people think of the usual allergy signs - rash, throat swelling, etc..
I pulled this article because of the "Special Note to Paren'ts" section:
http://www.alphanutrition.com/Foodallergy/fachildren.htm

Good luck with you daughter. :)
Please keep us updated with your progress.

You may have to result to putting her into a room by herself and let her have it out. She obviously knows that when she does this, this is getting your attention. if it happens in public, you may just have to drop what youre doing go to an area where she can have it out. this is a phaze that happens and unfortunately just about every parent goes through it.