Help! Our Boys Wake Us up at 5 or 6 Am-how Do We Keep Them Sleeping

My best friend was in the exact same situation as you. She taught the two boys (who were actually a little younger when she was prego with #3) to not get out of bed until the digital clock she put in the room started with the number 7. She said it worked like a dream.

Good Luck!

I made a rule for my daughter that even if she woke up, she had to stay in bed and read or relax until it was at least daylight. She would always announce, "Mommy, it's day!" the minute the sun came up, but at least she would quietly amuse herself until then. Good luck! C.

I would purchase a clock radio with an alarm clock for their room. Tell your boys that they can't come into your room until the music starts. They should stay in their beds and not even talk to each other until the alarm goes off. You can set it about 10 minutes later than they currently wake up, and adjust it about 10-15 minutes every few days until they are not getting out of bed until you want them to. You can accomplish this same thing with a light plugged into a timer, but the radio is more useful in the long run.

Liza,
I may ramble as I have been up since 5 today :)First, sleep deprivation throws everyone off, pregnant mama's especially. It takes several good nights to make up for loss of sleep and it can throw you over the edge so I would try to find some rest when they are in school if that is an option while you are sorting this out. My 5 year old son is like me, with an early rise time (5-6 am) and my 2 year old daughter is a night owl and a non napper. When my husband is home, he helps immensely but when he travels for 3 plus nights, I am wiped out from lack of sleep and an intense pace. I found a variety of books by son's bed, leapster charged on his bed table, the play area set up for play ( a puzzle out, etc,setting food choices, pre-filled drink cups on the lower shelf, protein bars, fruits in lower crisper, pencil, eraser and workbooks, clothes and socks laid out, tv programmed to noggin after he is dressed, fed and played, buys me some time to wake up naturally. I am still up early but overwhelmed and my son is growing more confident. My daughter is learning this too although she sleeps a bit longer but I do the same thing in the later afternoon when I thought she would nap and I get the afternoon fatigue...and it gives an hour of quieter work..not sleep, but quieter things..and they are aware that this is a little break for me. They have had lunch, play, have a snack choice is the crisper (ziplocks of grapes, apples washed, bananas on the counter and a bowl of crackers etc...It takes work but knowing there is a little break helps me and I am ready to forge on to more HW, dinner, bath, bed, especially when dad is travelling or had work deadlines. I am not working officially but as my son's advocate, I spend 20 hours a week writing, conferencing, meeting, reading, going to therapy and appts so I have to be very ogranized and sleep/rest is paramount. Lastly, I know you are pregnant and may or may not nurse but I found after my daughter weaned I was more wiped than ever so I am more nutrition supplements than ever..Kelp pills help, B12, B1, low sugar, probiotics, hi protein, magnesium..it goes on...make sure you take care of yourself and hubby does too :)

I have lots of challenges with my kids (6 y/o girl, 4 y/o twin boys). And typically I do have at least one boy in bed with me by morning. Sometimes I do not even realize until I am getting ready to need to be up anyway. But 2 of them, there is no way!

When my daughter went thtough this we made a little bed on our floor, so if she needed to be with us she could come in quietly, and just go back to sleep there (she sucks her thumb, so I can't get any sleep with her).

For the boys, we have started an overall behavior system using stickers and jellybeans. You can earn and lose stickers through the day, and once you earn a certain number you get a prize (go to yogurt, pick the movie at blockbuster, etc). They start with 10 jellybeans everyday-and lose them throughout the day, and get to eat what they have earned at the end of the day (when they get crazy in the car I just start counting backwards from 10, rather than screaming at them, and they shape up so much more quickly).

ANYWAY-short story long, we made staying in their own bed all night something that could earn them a sticker/jellybean. So staying in bed all night was something to be proud of-rather than coming to my room being something that made mommy annoyed.

Just a thought!

Dear Liza,
My sister and I are 3 years apart as well. We shared a room. The rule was that if mom and dad were still sleeping, we had to be quiet and stay in our room. No jumping on the beds, no acting crazy and bouncing off the walls. We could turn on our light and play with dolls or cards or read or color...whatever. But there was no going into mom and dad's room while they were sleeping unless somebody was hurt or throwing up. My parents were far from being the type that would sleep all morning so having to be quiet until 7:30 or 8 was no big deal. We were allowed to get cereal in the kitchen and turn on the TV for cartoons....as long as we were quiet. When mom and dad got up, that was our signal that the day had started. It was hugs all around and Mom would go in the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast. During the week, she was always up before everyone else and looking back now, I'm sure she valued that quiet time so much. Fortunately for her, I hated getting up early and still do. My little sister was the culprit when it came to early rising and getting up and into stuff.
Our parents loved us and we were often allowed in their bed to read as a family at night before being carried to our beds, or when the power was out, we had candles and told stories.
Otherwise, if mom and dad weren't up and on with things, neither were we.
Another thing that kind of got the point across to us was that we had several neighbors who were elderly or had new babies and they had notes on their doors that said, "Baby sleeping" or "Day sleeper. Please do not ring bell."
My best friend's dad worked for the Post Office on the night shift and slept all day. We just knew not to bother them. When the kids came out, we knew it was okay to play.
You don't have to drug your kids, although it might be tempting, but they can learn that just because they are awake, it doesn't mean everyone else is.
SSSSSSssshhhhhhhhh when other people are sleeping.

My son is two and has been waking at 4am for the last two months. About a week ago I bought a night light and plugged it into a timer and set the timer for 5am. This way he knows when the light comes on, I will come get him. It has begun to help him sleep later. It is now set for 5:15am. My hope is to get it to 6am. Anyway, you could do something similar for your boys and let them know that they need to play quietly or read books in their room until the light goes on. Then they can get up.

Good luck,

J.

I think you've had great suggestions so far. One thing we would do was put a gate to block the entrance to our room. My 4 year old could tell us he was up at 5:30 and I would remind him that the gate wouldn't come down until 7am. We taught him how to tell time on his digital clock. He would have to go back to his room or the play room and play quitely until 7am. After about 2 weeks he stopped talking to us until 7am. I would hear him in the play room or his room, but he didn't actually come to me until the clock said 7am. After about 3 months I stopped putting the gate up and we have regressed a little. He no longer comes in at 5:30 but will come in at 6:30 or when he wakes up in the middle of the night. So I bribe him with a piece of candy (literally one jelly bean). If he can stay in bed all night and not wake me up he gets a candy in the morning. It works great.

I agree with the other posts that your 7 year old is old enough to know the rules and help the younger one play quitely until your acceptalbe hour.

Good luck. I was pregnant too when we went through all of this with our 5 year old (then 4). It does get better but you have to be consistant.

Make sure they have a lot of physical activities throughout the day so they are tired and rest at night. How many hours are they sleeping? Also teach them to eat, get dressed, and brush their teeth after waking up. You might also try cutting off fluids 3 hours before bed time. They may be waking up to go to the bathroom in the morning and are not able to get back to sleep. Also make sure their room is warm, a cool room will make it difficult to go back to sleep after a trip to the bathroom. Make sure the kids have blackout curtains as well. Be sure to avoid foods high in sugar, especially after 3pm. This includes fruit. When you give the kids fruit, always serve it with a protein to counteract the effects of sugars. Proteins can be nuts, peanut butter, or meats.

Good luck, let us know how it works out!

T. Solar
Founder
www.theparentpack.org

Why can't they get up and go watch cartoons? PBS has cartoons at 6am.... trust me... I'm up at that time every morning with my son. At age 7 he could get some cereal if left on a low shelf and help the younger brother too.

At this age, they are old enough for you to tell them that when they wake up in the morning, they have to play quietly in their room until you and dad get up and that they can't wake you up. Then, when they come to your room at 4 or 5 am I would invoke a consequence - my consequence would be that they have to stay on their beds with no toys for the entire day. If they can't stay there when you're sleeping, you'll make sure they stay there while you're awake. I will be a long day or two, but I think after a full day or two on their beds, they will get the message.

Hi Liza,
Congratulations on the new little one. You have a lot of great suggestions. It sounds like you are so tired that the kids are testing your authority. If you ask them to stay in bed and you regularly give in and let them into your bed, you are setting up a practice of their not listening to you... I know.. it's too much to deal with when you're exhausted right? I would follow the idea of getting to bed earlier. If they are overtired, they won't sleep deeply... and will wake early. First I would spend the day with them making sure they run, run run around at the park. Tired them out like dogs at the dog park. No sugar that day and no TV. Books and games. Then do the night time routine bath, brush teeth, book bed. Explain when they get up before they are allowed to - make a mark on the clock or match the time on a card if it's digital - then they will be walked back to bed. Be prepared to do it over and over. Do not respond verbally after the first time. They will get it. Just don't give it or you'll have to do it longer the next time. Once they have gotten it into their heads that you mean business, they will stay in their rooms (you should let them know what they can do there - books, games, sleep - quiet activities. Then for days you need to sleep in.... I agree they are old enough to leave out cereal and milk in a small pitcher (so they don't spill a whole half gallon) so they can serve themselves and watch a show, if that's acceptable. Good luck! I hope you get some sleep soon.

I have 4 little kids (ages 8 months to 6 yo) and know how it is to try and get sleep- honestly, I just accepted that I won't be getting good sleep probably for a few yrs. here- pregnant, with an infant and/or altogether. So, you can suck it up and survive this time- bc the benefits are so amazing- you can do it!!! There's plenty of the rest of life to sleep when our kids are older and don't need us... that being said, teach your boys to be quiet in the morning- I agree, keep cereal and small container of milk etc. on low shelf, have kid-friendly/educational websites they can go on independently- so you can rest more. I hate the mornings and am a night person- it's harder in our world to be a nt. person I think- especially as a parent. You can get through this time!!! And you are blessed w/another baby- so enjoy!!!

Hi
My son, Lorenzo who is 7 years old and is up between 4:30am and 5am.. He has ALWAYS been an early riser... it's his nature, could be your sons' too.
I am actually up at that hour and don't mind that he is, However,there were many times when I wanted to sleep in, but didn't.. That which we he does in the morning is computer work. There are many children friendly sites that are fun but also educational, for example my son goes to academicskillbuilders.com, there, he practices math and english. In addition, there is spellingcity.com.. I suppose if your sons (esp the oldest one) doesn't want to sleep in, he can do some FUN studying. It's a good use of time. Esp since the kids are probably at their freshest which would make learning easier for them.

good luck

Been there, done that!! :-p
Several of my thoughts:

*Have them go to sleep earlier (yes, counterintutive I know, but as you've already discovered, going to sleep later only makes them get up earlier!)

*teach them to tell time - tell them where the big/small hands are supposed to be. Then teach them what time is ok to come get you (or draw it on a note on your door for them to find in the morning)

*in our house we have no tv channels at all. The only thing our TV is connected to is our VCR, DVD and VideoPhone. So on mornings I/we want to sleep in, I set out a bowl of cereal and drink(water) in the fridge and put the DVD I know he'll like to watch (Disney Classic Cartoons are a favorite and have an hours worth of many short cartoons) Now he is finally "trained" to go turn on the tv and DVD via remote, then eat & watch, before waking us up.
If you prefer to have them play quietly in their room, then teach them that. Maybe ask them if they want to play with legos or read books or play school with their stuffed animals or whatever quiet (or semi-quiet!) play your kids do. Then remind them that in the morning they can wake up and play (whatever). Do review with them what is ok, what is not ok. practice with them. Set limits and consequences AND STICK WITH IT. They'll get it. at some point. they will.

Hi Liza- Seven years is old enough to take care of himself and his brother for a while in the morning. Set up a snack, books, toys or video with him the night before an adult sleep in day. Make it a "big kid" responsibility thing and be sure the little one knows the plan and that his brother is in charge. You have to have consequences if they don't follow the rules but I've found the fun of being independent is a pretty powerful motivator. It will also help prepare them for the future when your oldest will inevitably be left "in charge" at times. Don't underestimate how mature kids will be when given responsibility, with a baby on the way it would be good for them to get used to more independence. You really need your sleep now and we all know that need is not going away for a while. Congratulations on your new member of the family!

Do your boys like books? If so gently asking them to please stay in the room and read for another hour or so might help. I notice you don't mention what time they go to bed. Is it possible you are putting them down earlier than you need to? Would pushing bedtime to a half-hour or even an hour later possibly work?

Think about teaching them to go get their own breakfast in the morning (cereal). Put the bowls down low where they can safely reach them, and the milk on a lower shelf. Then tell them they can read books or watch tv (not ideal, but it sounds like desperate times). Let them stay up later reading in bed so they don't wake so early. Have you thought about changing your clocks to fool them a bit? Maybe someone can take them out during the day so you can have a nap. They need fresh air and lots of physical activity to tire them out. A healthy snack before bed will help to keep them from waking due to hunger in the morning. If you can afford all day preschool/day care for your 4 year old, consider that, so you can go back to bed after you take the kids to school. Have you considered seperating the boys from sleeping in the same room? Keep telling yourself "this is a phase, and this too shall pass!", because that's what this is. You just have to survive to the next phase! Best of luck to you.

Hi Liza!

It sounds like you ALL need a new sleep schedule. The one you all have isn't working (obviously). About 7 years ago, when I was pregnant with our youngest, I swtiched schedules, due to exhaustion, and it was the best thinkg I ever did. We still have the same sleep schedule, inlcuding me, but I am just better rested. Here's what we do:

7:15pm Bath/Shower
7:35pm Last "call" for snack/drink
8:00pm ALL GET IN BED (we watch TV...I know, I know...)
8:45pm Kids are asleep, then I can dose off, but until then my body was resting at least 45 minutes :o)
5:30am Start waking. I get up first to "do my things"
6:15am Kids wake without alarm.

Liza, I "used" the TV to get my routine down as I wanted it. It took a couple of months for their little bodies to have this routine naturally, but it's been worth every minute of sleep. I am a more happy mommy, and not so grumpy anymore~! We all have a better quality of life now

Good Luck~

:o) N.

A friend taught her 5 year old twin boys to tell time and made a rule that they could wake up whenever but could not leave their bedroom (except to use the bathroom) until 7am. It worked great! She had to consistently consequence them for leaving the room at first, but to this day they stay in their room until 7 am, playing quietly. Added bonus: they were motivated to learn to tell time.
Of course, I've never done that -- my six year old wakes me up most mornings, and I just get up with her....

Hi Liza,

Congrats on your expectant arrival. The only thing that works for me is bribing. I tell my 8 yr. old daughter if she lets me sleep until 7:30 on the weekends, that I will make her waffles when I get up. They are a treat that she earns. I've told her that if she wakes up before then, she can read in bed or watch tv. (Keeping her up later doesn't work either - she's still up at the same time, and then cranky all day). Good luck to you in finding a bribe that works for your family.

J.

school or no school, my almost 6 yr old is up by 6:30 am every day...sometimes earlier than that. Sometimes she will get in our bed and doze off till the alarm goes off at 7, other times she knows if she is really not tired, then she will go turn on cartoons or play quietly in her room. Some kids are just early risers, I was always up early as a kid, but my sister would sleep til 10 if my mom let her!

The 7 yr old is big enough to be able to turn on a tv, or play in his room and the 4 yr old will probably just follow him...

Good luck!

Go to bed earlier at the same time as your boys, so you catch some good sleep while they do.
P..