Help! My Three Year Old Still Wants a Passy!

Updated on June 15, 2007
J. asks from Mesquite, TX
11 answers

I am at my wits end on how to get my 3-year old daughter to give up the pacifier. She doesn't have it all day at pre-school, but normally the minute we get home after work/school, she starts asking for it. And, there's no way I could get her to stay in bed without it. I know it's our fault for letting her have it for so long. Does anyone have any advice on how to get a child to give up the passy?

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

We just got rid of my son's pacis last night. He LOVES Caillou on PBS, and I found a doll on ebay. I bought the doll and told him that he could trade his pacis (like money) for the doll. It worked like a charm! He asked for it a a few times, and he slept last night WITHOUT the paci, but with Caillou. I was so proud and excited!!! I thought it would be a LOT harder, and wish I had thought of that sooner. Good Luck!

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, J.. My first child grew attached to a passy, as well. I kept making excuses as to why I shouldn't take it from him. However, when he turned 2 I decided to take it for good. The night of his birthday, I just explained to him that he was a big boy now, and big boys do not have passies. Therefore, after today, he would not have it again. I threw them all away, and he never asked for it again. I just think if you communicate to your daughter, who is plenty old enough to understand now, that you mean business, that she's a big girl now, and also that there are no passies left in the house to "reason with", she'll get the picture and come to terms with it. It may be difficult for a couple of days since she's older, but all in all, it's probably more difficult for you than her, and she knows this. Good luck. You're a terrific mom, so you'll to great!

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A.E.

answers from Dallas on

We took my daughters away by just throwing them all away. We tried to cut the tips off and she still wanted it - weird I know. What worked was only letting her have it for naps & bedtime for 2 weeks. She quickly adjusted to that and we switched that out for a sippy cup of water and no more pacifiers. I just told her that she didn't need them anymore. There were a few naptimes & bedtimes of crying, but it was well worth it not to have her need one. My doctor told us there was no easy way about it and we just had to take it away. We tried all of the other tips we'd heard and the only real thing that worked was just to take it away.

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K.W.

answers from Dallas on

Cut a tiny bit of the tip off and give it to her. If she takes it like that, in a few days cut a little more off and keep doing that until she decides she does not like it anymore. When that happens let her be the one to throw it away in the trashcan and wave bye, bye to the passy. Let her help like a BIG GIRL and take the trash out for the trash man to pick up immediately.

We did this with our 2 1/2 year old right after he turned 2. The first time he threw one away when we weren't looking he got in the trash to find it. I had already thrown all but 2 away that he knew about and I had one on reserve for a emergency just in case. I cut the tips of both and he did not like it when he tried to suck. After the first one was thrown away and he slept with no passy for the first night, we gave him the other cut one the 2nd and he did not like it so he threw it away and said bye to it like a BIG BOY. We did take him to get a new stuffed animal to sleep with to take the place and let him pick it out. He fussed for almost a week at nap time and bed time and after that, that was it. He did not need it anymore.

Good Luck!

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

On Super Nanny there was a girl that was about her age maybe older that still had a paci and Super Nanny did a Paci Fairy. The Paci Fairy comes and takes the paci to a baby who needs it. They tied it to a tree during the day and the next morning went out and there was a really cool big girl present wrapped all pretty in the tree waiting for her. I thought that was a really neat idea.

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E.D.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter was a little over two and had the pacifier glued to her mouth. i finally just took it away. I was hard for about two days and then she forgot about it. I've found that pretty much works with all her bad habits. The sooner the better. If you don't like that approach you could try what super nanny suggests. You could tell the child that the binky fairy is going to come and collect all the binkys for the new little baby's. Then you have your child collect the binky's and leave them somewhere and the next day have a prize there for them. That way they feel big and accomplished.

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S.D.

answers from Dallas on

J.,
Shamefully, we only got rid of my daughter's night time paci when she was complaining of her teeth hurting in the morning (she was 3 1/2). Shameful, I know. Anyway, she totally loves the nursery at church, the caretakers and the children. We talked to her about the babies needing the pacis more than she did, so she put them in a pretty gift sack with me and we gave them to caretaker in the baby room. She only asked for them two nights after that with minimal fussing when we reminded her where they were. This could also work with her preschool if they have babies, or if you have a friend or family member in the hospital with a new baby you can get your little one to donate the pacis to the babies in the nursery (the nurses are savvy, they smile and nod and toss them when your child is gone). Good luck!

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G.D.

answers from Dallas on

For a couple of months, we talked about how our daughter would not need it when she was 3. We also talked about her birthday party at the same time so turning 3 is fun. Then we went on a trip over her birthday weekend (it was Easter), and we did not take a pacifier with us. We told her we did not bring it because she won't need it since she is 3. I had to stay with her until she fell asleep for several nites - it was tough for her to get to sleep. But it worked faster than I expected. One catch - there were NEVER any more afternoon naps!

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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter was four when she gave up her passy (she had it only at night from about 3 on). At the time she loved Scooby Doo, so Daddy got a picture of Scooby and ontop stuck a piece of construction paper with little doors for her to open (like an advent calendar). Each time she slept without a passy she was allowed to open one door; when all doors were opened to reveal the Scooby picture behind it, Madison would get a big giant Scooby Doo stuffed animal.

It worked! She's nearly six now and has been off the passy ever since! :)

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I.D.

answers from Dallas on

I took my sons Paci away at 2.5. We did the Paci Fairy trick, and it worked. I talked to him about it for several weeks prior to the big day. I just picked October because I was on Fall Break. He did great. He got a DVD and a new stuffed animal to sleep with from the Paci Fairy. He did surprisingly well. He had no problems transitioning. He never asked about them again. I do have twin daughters that are 1 now and he will occasionally put thiers in his mouth and say he is a baby but it is just for jokes :) Good luck! As one of my dear friends always tells me when I am having struggles parenting, "You let that baby have whatever he wants! He is only a baby once."

J.F.

answers from Dallas on

J.,

Ok I have a 2 1/2 year old and when he turned 1 I only let him have it at nap and bed time, he wouldnt go to sleep without it. As it got closer to his 2nd birthday I wanted him to be off of it. His doctor kept telling me at his 1 year and 18 month checkup to get him off of it, the sooner the better. So when he was 22 months I cut the tips off of all his pacys(of course I didnt let him see me do it) and then started screaming oh no all of your pacys broke!!!!! He thought it was hilarious, he couldnt stop laughing. It was so easy he didnt ask for it ever again. On some days even still he will come to me and say mommy my pacys are broken. I let him keep the broken ones for a little while before I threw them away so he could see they were still broke. Anyways I highly suggest giving it a try. Good Luck!!! : )

J.

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