Help My Three Year Old Son Insulted My MOL on Christmas

K., don't let the distance stop you from becoming the hostess. My stepchildren were in MI while we lived here in OH and while it wasn't easy, I still managed to be the hostess for little dinners and two big graduation parties. It wasn't easy and required a LOT of preparation, but it is possible and can be fun.

You have a wonderful gift in loving your in-laws so use that as your basis for wanting to become the hostess. Tell your mother-in-law you love all those family traditions they've shared with you and now you want to take the work off her shoulders and share some of your own family traditions with them. If you try this out during a non-holiday season, she is less likely to think you don't like what she does and be more apt to want to give you the use of her kitchen. If she isn't willing to give up the kitchen, plan your family get together at a community building. We did a lot of our entertaining in MI at hotels and in campgrounds along with at my SIL's, but the big events were at a community building we rented.

You're Mamasource request was so well written and thoughtful that I have no doubt you can do this and will be able to do it with great charm!

Infinite Blessings!
K.

P.S. Oh and one more thing, telling your MIL one more time that you are sorry for your son's statement sure isn't going to hurt anything.

K.,
I agree with the other response. You corrected your son after he made the comment, and are therefore trying to teach him what's appropriate and what's not. I wouldn't do anything further. I understand the food situation. When we have meals on my husband's side of the family, there is rarely a vegetable, salad, fruit, etc. I try to bring as much healthy stuff as possible. Doing something like a simple veggie tray or fruit salad will at least guarantee that you and your kids can get something healthy and tasty at these get-togethers. And, those are quick, so that you don't spend so much of your precious time making something awesome that won't even be eaten that day (ie, the periogies). I would try to eat a meal before you go, as much as is possible, or bring a one-dish "side dish" that you can have as your "meal" since other things are less than tasty. Also, the milk thing would have sent me over the edge. Those are YOUR children, and if you want them to have milk or something to drink for their meal, you need to get that for them despite who disagrees or gets mad. You are your children's caretaker, protector, and mother, not your MIL! My MIL always jokes about how she can't wait until my son is old enough to spend the night at her house so she can load him up on chocolate and sugar. He has a healthy diet, and while I'm not against that stuff altogether, it can rub me the wrong way and feel she should be more supportive of influencing his and her other grandkids diets positively. But, I think it makes her feel good as a grandmother (she's overweight) because what kid doesn't love that? So, I understand how you feel in all this.

What you said is fine. He's 3. There is no censor between his brain and his mouth. If he doesn't like something, he's gonna say it. If someone is offended by what a 3 yr old says, they really do need tougher skin. You called him on it, and that's enough.
However, for the future, make something that you know that you're kids will eat and ask (demand if necessary) that it be placed out. My kids are somewhat picky eaters and most family know that. If they aren't willing or won't eat what's out, I'll fix something that they will. And, you (as the parent) get to make the decision as to what you're kids eat-and drink- during a meal. Not your MIL.

Hi K.,
From the mouths of babes! I wouldn't worry about apologizing again. Unfortunately, especially at that age, kids are going to say things like that - and sometimes those things may be true ;-) You corrected him and apologized - there's nothing else you can do.
It sounds like you're probably a pretty good cook but it's just not going to be appreciated there. (The crack on the mac'n'cheese not being from a box would have applied in my case, LOL!) Maybe next time you can make/buy a veggie and fruit tray to take with you. Hopefully this will help with making sure you get something to eat and that the boys have something they like.
And next time, with the drink at dinner - I would just go ahead and get them something to drink or better yet, have your husband do it. And just let them know that the boys are used to having a drink with their dinner. (Does the family normally not have drinks with dinner? I can't imagine not having a glass of water, at least.)
Good Luck!