Help!! My Son Wont Stop WHINING!!

Well A., it sounds like, and you might be unconciously doing it, you respond to he's EVERY need. One thing that I can suggest is to not respond to his whinning. When my twins boys are complaining and whinning I just let them know that if they want to talk to me they need to use their regular voice or I will not listen. Good luck!

HI A.,

Wow, it sounds as if you have your hands full, does he think he is competeing with the other 2 for your attention? I don't think he knows what he wants, but does know that his whining DOES get your attention; bad, good or indifferent. Like both of the mothers stated once they let their little ones know that "whining" was NOT acceptable, they came around to understanding that if they wanted something then they needed to "talk" or "tell" Mommy; as whining gets them nothing because "we" don't understand whining.

You don't mention how old Connor is and he also needs to know that whining is not an acceptable form of communication from the baby or if he were to start doing it or even the 2 yr old picks it up.

Good Luck & I will keep you & your family in my prayers...
I.

Dear A.,

I am sure that you know that whinning is part of the human experience. But the many days of it may have a cause beyond that. I do notice that my husband's 53 year old daughter still has a certain way of whining when things are not going her way. - kinda interesting. She really hates it when she doesn't get her way, and there is a lot of hell to pay for all concerned. Oh well, just a warning to the wise.

Anyway, maybe he is tired, think of what happens around those whining days - maybe he needs an extra bit of rest.

Also, if you can't satisfy him right away, then let him cry and whine until he quits - yes it will be difficult, but whining is a learned activity, and he can learn to communicate another way too. But he won't if you fuss at him. Just get him safe and comfortable and let him whine. and cry, and whine, and he will find out that it is not the way to get mom's attention anymore. Tell youself that you are doing the right thing and that it will not harm him. Then keep a close watch so that he will not have a tamtrum and hurt himself.

C. N.

I completely agree with what the other 3 moms have stated, all of which worked great for when my son started to whine.
Another thing I did was, and still do when it comes up, I say, "NO WHINING" in a deep, but silly voice. He loves to say it back, and it gets his mind off what he was whining about, almost like changing his attitude about the situation. Kids love to have fun and be silly, so I try and use that as a tool as much as appropriately possible.

Kids are smart and will rise up to our expectations. We just need to let them know what they are and hold them to it. The hard part is being consistent.

I would also highly recommend sign language. It is super easy to learn and drammatically reduces frustration while increasing communication...and it is FUN!

D. d

Hi A.,

I feel so badly for you...not seeing your boyfriend regularly, and even worse that he is not willing to marry at this point. Your son is affected by this...the whining could definitely be related to his feelings of insecurity at not having a stable home life in that he sees his Daddy everyday. Something a small child needs to be able to count on. I am going to pray for you, that the Lord will give you wisdom how to handle this situation.

Also, a little trick I always used with my kids was to say "I can't hear you when they would whine." I just wouldn't respond to them talking to me, and when they would keep asking I would say "I'm sorry, I can't hear you when you are whining, in a pleasant voice." They caught on pretty quickly. Hope this helps. Take care...

I agree with what the other moms have suggested, but also I wonder if he is getting enough sleep on the days he is whiny. My 23-month-old daughter usually doesn't whine, as she is able to communicate really well and speaks in full sentences, but she is more clingy and whiny when she hasn't gotten enough sleep. Just a thought. Good luck!

Hi A....I have a 16 month old lil boy who does the same thing! He wants to be held constantly one moment...and the other his is playing all by himself. This is totally normal for their age as they are becoming more independent...and with this they also are more aware when they do not have our full attention which is what they want :) . I guess I can only give you comfort in knowing that it is normal and will soon pass! Just make sure to stay calm and explain to him that he doesn't need to cry to get something, that he can ask...etc. Eventually, it will sink in...it amazes me at how much my little guy actually understands and he is finally showing that he understands by listening to what I say (although, it has taken A LOT of repetition).

Good luck and I hope this helps knowing you are not a lone :) !!

My daughter started whining early, about a year. She's a pretty smart girl and the first time she started doing it I gave her the look and stated that she would have to find a different way to tell me what she needed. I know it sounds a little advance but she's a bright girl and stopped. She tried a few more times and I never responded to what she wanted. I tend to respond to her right away so she got the message pretty quickly that whining was just not acceptable.

You may want to validate that he's getting frusterated, upset, tired, etc. Put words to what he is feeling. Is it possible that he is teething or in some other way he's in pain?

For you, I hope that you get the time you need for yourself to recharge for your normally sweet boy!

Jen