Help! My Son Won't Sleep at New Daycare

Updated on October 09, 2009
M.D. asks from San Mateo, CA
4 answers

I don't know what to do. My son, 17 months old is adjusting to daycare 3 times a week, and getting a little better with it and being away from me, BUT he will not sleep. They have nice cribs, have tried leaving door open, other places to lay, NOTHING works. Any advice???

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J.L.

answers from San Francisco on

My son was the same way when he started at a home daycare 3 days a week at 18 months old. The caregivers were very accommodating, however, so they would even have him nap while sitting (or even laying?) next to him. They assured me that it takes time for them to adjust because they need to feel safe and secure in a new place in order to sleep better. Eventually, he did adjust and nap on his own.

I know it's worrisome and frustrating...for now, talk with the caregivers to find out what they think will happen as he adjusts or what they do to help him. At night, have your son go to bed earlier than usual so he can make-up for the lack of daytime sleep during the nighttime.

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B.R.

answers from Sacramento on

How long has he been at this daycare and what kind of responses are you getting from his teachers regarding his naptime problems?
I have worked at a number of different centers and now have my own home childcare business, so have seen a lot of different napping issues. Sometimes it's because the child has not had adequate activity to make them tired by naptime. He also might just be overstimulated by being around all the other children. Perhaps they don't have a good routine for napping. At his age, most daycares won't be using cribs for napping, and from what you've said I'm wondering if they have regular cots or mats for the children. Most centers use one or the other and all children sleep on the same thing. Only bed babies (up to a year of age) normally are put into cribs.

Do the teachers put on quiet music and have a calm room for the children to rest in? Do they sit with the children and rub backs or do any other type of soothing routine to help the child sleep?
Are there teachers in the room trying to do other jobs as the children are trying to settle down? If so, they need to stop and help get the children settled and asleep before doing those jobs. And no traffic in and out of the room to disturb the children from settling down.

Another thing to remember is that he may just not have been there long enough to feel 'at home' and comfortable with the new surroundings. If they are gentle and calm with him, he should be able to eventually trust them enough to sleep there.

I would highly recommend that you simply drop by and observe one day at their nap time. Don't enter the room, but look in through a window.. and most centers will have a window that you can look through to see what's going on with your child. Frankly, if they don't I'd be looking for another place for him, where I could observe activities without the child seeing. This is one way you can assure yourself of how your child is responding as well as to see how the teachers are treating him. You may be able to detect something that will help you give the teachers some good ideas of what they can do to help your child sleep better too.

One more thing... at seventeen months of age, I have often observed a changing in napping patterns in children anyway. They go from falling asleep the minute their head is down, to having to toss and turn, or fight sleep for a while before giving in. This could just be one of those adjustment periods and the teachers as well as you may have to learn how to help him make the adjustments and get back into napping well.

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A.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Stop worrying! We all transitin differently and at 17 months he is needing more time. He may not sleep, however if he has quiet time and his own blanket he will be ok. Relax, some things we cannot control and that is OK.

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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello M.: As the mother of 5 and having run a Day Care for several years-- let me share what I did.
I insisted that the children that could not sleep had to stay in thier designated area and look at books, play with stuffed animals so they did not make noise and wake the other children. I often had parents bring a full size blanket or quilt, and have the child build a nest like big bird, and they were happy in that setting.
Some children are just not nap takers- none of mine did after a year on a regular basis. Some children are not willing to sleep in a strangers home. So use other alternatives. If I had a child that refused all these things but insisted on waking the others, I had a parent come one time and try to assist with the child. It was in the contract that they signed. If it was a total problem then the parents removed thechild from day care with me. I only had that happen one time. So 1 out of a 120 is not bad and shows you that your little one will be just fine. Nana G

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