I have a 4.5 year old and a 3 year old boy. They are great kids... super sweet and smart! We moved them into a room together about a month ago. We also have an almost 4 month old that we moved into our third bedroom (that was freed once we moved the big boys in together). So, there are no extra bedrooms. The boys did well initially with the move. But, a couple of weeks ago, they started being really difficult to get settled down into bed. They are constantly talking, playing, standing/jumping in the beds; getting in bed with each other, fighting, etc. I do try to get them to nap/rest about 3 times a week. They know that they can quietly look at a book, but must rest. Because they are not sleeping/resting at bed/nap time, they have become overly tired and are acting out other times. Honestly, I need the break 3 times a week for rest time.
I have tried everything I can think of to get through to them.... rewards for good behavior, punishment for bad... taking away treats/snacks, taking coins from their piggy banks, taking all toys/stuffed animals out of their room... much more than I can even think of right now. I tried to tell them that during rest time on the weekend, they can rest in my bed and watch a movie, if they'll rest well in their own room the 2 rest times per week, but it hasn't happened because the behavior has not changed.
So, I'm at the end of my rope. I need a super good idea of how to get them to lay down and go to sleep. I have moved one into the baby's room on the floor and put the baby back in my room, but he just kept getting into the baby's stuff. This is seriously the most frustrated I have been in as long as I can remember... while trying to appear calm in approaching them about it :)
Please help if you have any ideas. Thanks so much in advance.
Hate to tell you this but my girls (age 12 and 6) share a room and we STILL have problems getting them to settle down and go to sleep. It seems it's always something at night. Good Luck
My only suggestion is to make sure absolutely EVERYTHING is out of their rooms except for 1-2 books each and their bed. Make sure there is nothing else in there for them to play with. Beyond that, I'm not sure there's much else to do, other than give it some time to see if they get back into the swing of things. If they don't rest quietly one day, you could try not even letting them have books then maybe extending quiet time by X number of minutes for each time you have to say something to them??? Sorry I'm not more help!
I know when my 3 year old wouldn't go to sleep... as much as I loved and NEEDED my Mommy time during the day she absolutely had to stop taking naps. She was up sometimes until 12:00-1:00 a.m! Have you tried that Johnson's Bedtime bath? Try giving them a bath before bedtime with that. With my baby I say it's time to go night night but that I'm going to read her a story 1st and we will lay on her bed and that helps her get settled down and sometimes I let her take a small toy in the bed and being that she hasn't taken a nap I know she's tired she will eventually fall asleep. But I know it's easier said than done... I have a 3 year old and a 13 year old and she is in the room by herself. Good luck! : )
Cut out naps. Then send them to bed earlier. Send one then the other. But overall it seems like they are spending too much time together if they are like that at night. My guess is they probably spend a lot of time together because they are close in age, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and take this deeper and suggest that maybe start doing play dates if possible with the children going separately to a friends house while one stays with you. during the week when you usually have the need for rest time, engage them separately with task they can do alone, so that you still get some of the time for mom and they also get alone time. For instance, send one in the room to lay quietly and read and the other to another room to play a video game or watch their favorite TV show etc, one does not (if possible) necessarily have to know what the other is doing, just explain that this is their personal time and that they need time alone be firm and stick to it because they will tell you they dont want it. After trying this for a while you will start to see they look forward to it you get that break and everyone is happy and more calm in the evenings also. It may not seem to work at first because you will need to tweek it to see how it will work but I promise it will work most of the time there are going to be days still...also they are not going to understand the alone time so set a timer at first and make it for like 15 minutes or so to start, then let them play, separate them again after another hour or two, and set the timer again and then work your way up to longer periods of time over the following days. Good luck!
They may be ready to cut the naps during the day. I don't know - mine napped until 4 and 5. I had my girls in a room together since they were 2 and 3. Try and find another way to get a break. Preschool? Join a gym and let them go to the gym childcare for an hour while you work out? Watch a little tv? Anything?
As far as bedtime, stick to a routine. Bath, get in pjs, brush teeth, brush hair, read a story, go to sleep. Keep lights dim and things quiet.
Make sure they are tired out before bed. Outside exercise always helps. Maybe a little walk before or right after dinner?
Keep bedtime consistent.
Stop punishing and start making it happen by being firm and calm.
I know this is not easy.
My oldest two were no longer napping at that age, and they shared a room. They had reading lights clipped to their beds. They would read, but also talk and sometimes play. I pretty much ignored it unless I heard shouting or running around at which point they were warned I'd take the reading lights away if they didn't stop. That was enough for us. They didn't always go to sleep as quickly as I wanted them to but it was fine.
I suggest you get your break from your kids in the evenings or on the weekend, when your husband's home. I did my grocery shopping that way, I would go one night a week, no kids and no crowds, it was heavenly! I also had a standing walking date with my BFF every Saturday morning which was HUGE in maintaining my sanity :)
I would sit in their room until they fall asleep.
I would get a dim reading light, or use a Kindle/iPad. Place both boys in their bed and sit in the room and read until they are asleep. If you need to, walk them back in their own beds until they learn to fall asleep.
Unless you can get the one to sleep before the other.
Good luck!
Explain to them... WHY sleep/naps are important.
Teach them, about their body's cues, so they recognize, when THEY are tired/overtired.
This is what I have done with my kids, since they were 2 years old.
My kids napped, even until older than your kids.
They slept fine at night even if they napped.
No battles.
My son, would also tell ME things like "Mommy, I'm tired, I want to nap..." and then he'd get himself in the routine.
Or my daughter would say "Mommy, I'm sleepy already, I wanna go to bed already..." and she'd get herself in the routine.
IF you explain to your kids, about how to recognize their body's cues for tiredness/sleepiness... they can then, recognize it. Along with explaining to them... about WHY sleep is important and rest.
ie: it helps their immune system, it helps their body, it is a time when the body is developing and restoring themselves etc.
That is what I did with both my kids... along with having the same routines with them, per naps/bedtime, since they were babies.
The only thing that may have changed as they have gotten older is, their naps are now pretty much nil, and their bedtimes are now 8:00pm and no later than 8:30pm.
My kids are now 6 and 9. And once in awhile, they will still nap, when they KNOW they are real tired. They know it will help restore them and their moods. They know, their body's cues.
Per quiet times when/if they are tired but do not nap, they know that too.
I tell them it is quiet time and for MOMMY too.
I don't confine them to their room. The only rule is that we ALL do quiet things... and kick back. And they will. It is a routine we have always had... since they were Toddlers.
Can the 3 year old go to bed 30-45 minutes before the older O.?
As for naps...it is, indeed a sad day when they outgrow them!
