Help!, My 7 Year Old Son Tell Bold Face Lies to Get Out of Trouble, I Am Afraid

Reward him for being honest. It isn't uncommon for kids to tell lies or stretch the truth to get out of trouble. Our kids know that if they do something wrong there will be consequences. But if they lie about it, the consequences will be more severe.

You have to teach him that you will be more understanding and the consequences will be less severe if he is honest with you.

ETA - If your son is always getting in trouble at school, it is high time you had a meeting with his teacher. Find out what he is doing, why he is getting into trouble, what the teacher is doing to try to change the behavior, etc. Calling you all the time and telling you about it doesn't really help the situation. The teacher needs to deal with the problem. Find out what the plan is.

We went through this (around same age) with one of ours.

Ours was having some issues at school - wasn't happening at home. If I were you, I would meet with the teacher for a one on one.

Your child may be going through something. I came down really hard on our son, and I probably overreacted.

Like Gidget says, if you can explain that the lie is worse than the offense, then that will help. We had our son apologize (to his embarrassment) each time and that also helped. We explained when you lie it makes it worse (someone else gets in trouble, the problem is not resolved .. frustrating for the teacher who is there to teach...) but if it's behavioral - then look for other signs that your child may be going through something.

My son also exaggerated - I think to fit in/get attention. He did grow out of all this - for us, it was a phase. I would try to figure out why he is lying - is it trying to fit in, peer pressure, he's not being himself and doing dares, and then gets scared or anxious of the consequences - that kind of thing. Easier to help curb behavior if you can figure out what is prompting it.

I would schedule an appointment to meet with the teacher and the school social worker/school psychologist and see just how serious they think it is and what they suggest.

Are the lies and the problems at school always about the same thing? For example, is he cheating on tests consistently? Or is his behavior erratic (lying about something a classmate did on one day, pushing a kid at recess another day, disrupting the class on another day)?

If he's consistently doing one thing, like copying from someone else on his spelling test, then maybe you could look into getting him some help in that area.

If his bad behavior is all over the place, consider the whole class environment. Is the class really large? How does the teacher manage the classroom (calmly, in chaos, loud, quiet, consistent or inconsistent)? Is your son trying to get attention by misbehaving, or is he not getting clear instructions about what is expected of him in class? Is the classroom managed very differently from the home environment? Sometimes a home is pretty laid back and the school environment is super strict. That can confuse some children and they may need help to adjust and understand how to behave at school.

How is his lying handled in class? What kind of punishment does the teacher give him? Does it seem to bother your son? Is he being bullied, or perhaps is he bullying someone?

Just a few things to think about that maybe will give you some kind of clue to help understand his behavior at school.

I think it's really typical of kids. The main thing is to make the consequences worse for lying than for committing the offense. ("It's not the crime, it's the cover-up," you know?)

And you can tell him you discount "his version" because he doesn't have a good track record for telling the truth. The teacher wouldn't be calling every week for no reason. So I think you also have to investigate what he's doing in school and why, and get to the bottom of that. He's acting out for some reason, and perhaps some work with a child psychologist would help get to the bottom of his reasons.

Talk to your son.
This is a learning opportunity so take advantage of it.
Ask him if the dare was worth it considering all the trouble it caused.
You have to talk to him in such a way to get his thought processes working.
He wants to impress people?
Fine - tell him he needs to work on impressing you - because what his friends think doesn't matter.
Let him know that if this situation comes up again you'd like for him to handle it like this:
It's hard not to get caught up in the moment - but think and consider how stupid the dare is.
The friend is a fool for asking it and getting YOU in trouble is his entertainment.
Don't care what a fool thinks and don't care about entertaining him.
He can go get into his own trouble and find out how much fun that is (and it's no fun at all).
Your son will make you proud if he can say "No way" to dares and really try to reward him for that.
A small special treat would be in order.
For right now, you are disappointed about this situation but you're confident he'll handle it better next time and if he wants to talk some more about it you'll be more than happy to go over it again.