HELP - My 4 Year Old Is Out of Control !!

I am glad to know that I am not the only one. I have really had it lately. I am 8 mths pregnant with my third child and I just don't have any patience left. Something I have been trying lately is locking him in his room for 4 minutes. He seems to calm down much quicker and I do not have to put him in the time out spot 20 times.

Good Luck!
M.
www.mistysfrillsanddish.com

M.,

It sounds like you may need some professional help. I suggest that you speak with your pediatrician about your son's behavior and perhaps have him evaluated for ADD. I am sure you can get everything under control once you understand the root of the issue. Good luck!

I agree with the previous posters -- go get some advice from a professional. My daughter was the same way. I wanted to throw myself off a bridge daily from the time she was three until she was five or six (not really, but, man, it was TOUGH). I tried everything I could think of and was at a loss. All three of my kids are strong-willed and stubborn, but her behavior went beyond anything I could deal with alone.

Sometimes it isn't even a "syndrome" or a specific diagnosis anyone can make -- but information is power, and every little bit you know will help in strategies with how to deal with the disruptions.

Turns out my daughter is fine. She's ten now, gets straight A's and is in the gifted program, and behaves well about 95% of the time. She's just really sensitive and doesn't know how to show it and has anxiety (which Zoloft has helped immensely) -- and when you mix those things with a tendency to be inflexible and routine-oriented, it is a recipe for meltdowns. As she has matured, she has figured out coping skills and has been able to get more control over her bad feelings instead of acting them out.

And don't be afraid to try two or three places until you find someone who understands your child. There are a few counselors out there who have no clue or are just not a match for your family.

A great book to read is "The Explosive Child." Here is a link:

http://www.amazon.com/Explosive-Child-Understanding-Frust...

Good luck. I feel your pain!

L.

My daughter acts this way sometimes to. She used to act this way everyday. My husband and I stripped her room of ever toy she had. We also to away her TV, movies, cartoons, anything yo can think of we took it away. We then gave her a chore list. She has to make her bed, eat all her breakfast, lunch, dinner, she had to brush her teeth twice aday. You know things that she knows how to do. Then once she had done that for a full day she earned a toy. She still hasn't earned all her toys back and this has lasted a full year almost. She appreciates her toys more. She also realizes that we don't have to give her toys back. We also have given her calm child.(You can get it at a health food store in drop form. We put it in her drinks so that she doesn't taste it. It is homeopathic) This has helped control her tantrums. Since she didn't have terrible twos or threes. I guess she saved them all for her fours. Just know that you are not alone. My four year old was doing the same thing. I hope we have gotten it under control now. All I can do is pray.

I agree with the other poster -- talk to your child's dr and get an evaluation done. My son was the same way. We tried all the behavior books on the market, time outs, rewarding the good, anything you can think of. What worried me most was the 'no fear' thing. He had really poor impulse control. It made me feel like the worst mother in the world. His ped kept trying to tell me "boys will be boys", etc., but after he was expelled from his 2nd daycare center, I put my foot down and had an eval done. Turned out he did have ADHD, and treatment has made a world of difference.

I would definitely ask your pediatrician about it. This happened with a friend of mine -- nothing worked. No theory, no discipline method, nothing. They actually found out he has autism (though he's very high functioning). Now that they know what tactics to use to get his attention to follow instruction, they have few problems.

This may sound out there, but have you ever considered getting his speech evaluated. My older son is delayed in what they call "receptive speech". It's where they talk fine, hear fine and even socialize fine, but have a hard time processing and reponding appropriately to what is said to them. We discovered it with my son around 3 when he wouldn't answer our questions or respond to commands or requests. Now at five it often shows up behaviorally. I often have to get his attention physically to get him to respond.

The good thing about this is that it is totally treatable through speech therapy. My son had therapy at 4 (it took us MONTHS to get the right evaluation) and he is a different kid. Even though he still has issues, WE know now how to handle him better and he is learning how to cope better.

See if this helps you....

http://childparenting.about.com/cs/discipline/a/childdisc...

also I love going to ivillage.com

Try this site as well: http://www.aboutourkids.org/aboutour/articles/discipline....