Help!!! My 2Yr Old Still Takes a Bottle in the Middle of the Night.

Updated on March 25, 2008
A.C. asks from Brighton, MI
26 answers

Hi, I would greatly appreciate some suggestions on how to break my (almost) 2 yr old from taking a bottle in the middle of the night. She wakes up 2-4 times a night for a bottle. She doesn't take one to go to bed any more only when she wakes up. I have tried a sippy cup or a bottle with water and it doesn't work. All she will do is cry, cry and cry and ask for her "bubba". I've been told I need to just do it "cold turkey" and let her cry. That is where my problem comes in, she sleeps with us and both my husband and I work full time so I don't know how to do this without all of us losing a lot of sleep. Any suggestions are very much appreciated. Thanks is advance.

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K.C.

answers from Detroit on

When I was breaking my kids from the bottle, my mom told me to get the farmers almanac and see when to wean. It usually only happens once a month, but the most any one of my three kids cried was two days. I thought that wasn't too bad. Try it, it might work. Then make all bottles and pacifers disappear for good. Good luck.

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T.M.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Hi, its been awhile since my son was that old but Ill let ya know what i did at that age. I had just put the bottles in the top of the cupboard and gave him the sippy cups. It only took a few days and he didnt want them anymore. In fact it only took a couple weeks and he was asking what they were. By doing this he didnt want them at anytime when he woke up. You can also try replacing it with a favorite toy at night when she wakes up and give her a drink out of her sippy cup instead of having the "bubba". It may take a few nights but believe me it will work. You just cant give in to her at night and give the "bubba" back.

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C.L.

answers from Detroit on

HI A.,
You might want to read the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I can understand how you'd want your sleep, the book gives other ways to help a baby sleep through the night without crying. There are many people who co-sleep so if works for you.. great! If not, maybe you could transition her to a mattress alone on your floor and then into her own room? Dr. Sears's books gives many reasons that co-sleeping is beneficial. Hope things get better.

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

A.,

I know it is hard...I work full time too and we also have fallen prey to the do whatever you need to do to get some sleep tonight. However, she really needs at 2 to be sleeping in her own bed and should not be eating/drinking in the middle of the night. I would take the bottle away completly (my ped told me to stop giving a bottle at 12 mos) and then transfer her back to her own bed. The first week will be rough...but you will be surprised how much better everyone, including your daughter will sleep, once the transition is made. Start on a Thursday or Friday night (or when you have some vacation time). And yes...I have been through this and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

On a similar note...we had problems potty training my son and my ped asked how he was sleeping. I told him my son likes to come into our bed at night, etc, etc. He said (and was right) your son needs to be in his own bed, the independence this gives him is important to potty training. Once he was sleeping in his own bed/room, potty training went much better.

You especially need her sleeping in her own room with a second one on the way. Believe me (my second is 5 mos) you don't want two of them up at night. It is much harder getting up with the second than it was with the first!

Good luck.

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J.W.

answers from Saginaw on

Your daughter needs to learn to get herself back to sleep, which she will never do while she is in bed with you and you are doing it for her. We took my daughter's bottle away and replaced it with a doll at 1 year. There were no sleepless nights - but she was used to sleeping alone, since she NEVER slept with us. I now sometimes hear her talking to her doll during the night, but she's not waking us and she's learning the skill of getting herself back to sleep, which is VERY important.

You HAVE to get this taken care of before your new baby arrives...and a little hint to remember the situation you're in now when making habits with the next baby. Don't do naything more than once that you don't want to continue for months longer or that may be difficult to change. I take this to such extremes that even now (at 20 months) when she wakes up upset, which is rare, but happens occassionally, I won't do anything the least bit entertaining. We sit in the rocker or on the couch, no TV, no toys. She eventually gets bored and wants to go back to bed.

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C.V.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi A.,
Are you planning on having your daughter transfer to her own toddler bed at all? You could make it into a big deal about her being a big girl. You could let her pick out her own sheets and then maybe the bottle will go away by itself because she is in a differnt routine. I know you didn't say anything about moving her out of you bed but if you are expecting it might be a good time. My son slept with us until I had my second and he wasn't getting good sleep because I was up with the baby so we had a "Big Boy day" and let him help set up his bedroom. He still occasionally came to our bed but he loved his new room. He got much better sleep, too. That might be part of the reason she is up so much. She might be getting uncomfortable. When they are little they don't take up to much room but the older they are the more they move around. Just a thought. Good luck in whatever you do.
Chris

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

Cold turkey. And set up another room for her, if possible. And remember it isn't just your job. Let hubby have the occassional pleasure.

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L.P.

answers from Saginaw on

Hi A. ~ I'd be interested to know, if the sleeping arrangement could change, now that she's two. Of course this would be a huge transition - might be too much to try bottle weaning & solo sleeping at the same time. But perhaps one 'big girl' habit could lead to another. How about finding some variation of the sleep training/cry it out method that works for you. If I ever need to, we're prepared to use it on my son. Something else to try - to let her SEE you THROW all the bottles away. (EVEN if you get them out later & HIDE to use for baby.) L. P.

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M.M.

answers from Grand Rapids on

i'm not sure how to be of advice here, except to tell you that your 2 yr. old is probably way too old to be doing this. i know our son was weened off the bottle at 1 year of age. he's been sleeping through the night since he was 7 weeks old. there is no need for your child to be waking up once during the night, let alone two times. i think cold turkey will have to be the best way. or if you can communicate w/ her, tell her the "bubba" man needs to come and give her bubbas to another baby who needs them and then replace them w/ some goodies...crayons, dolls, crafts, etc. good luck.

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A.R.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi A., my name is A., I am a working mom, I have a 7yr old son and a 1 yr old daughter. I read your request and here is my advice to you. The reason she still takes a bottle in the middle of the night is because you give it to her in the middle of the night. You are worried about losing sleep if you let her cry but you are losing sleep 2-4 times a night when you get out of bed to feed her. She WILL work it out on her own, if you can't quit "cold turkey" try cutting back gradually, only giving her 2 for one week and then 1 the next week and then not at all. It will be harder because she is older and can cry longer than a baby but you can do it! It does NOT hurt a child to cry, it hurts you more than it hurts them. Also I am curious, why do you have her in a bed w/2 adults, it makes for bad/broken sleep and no privicy for you. I know this is a hard thing to do but you can do it and before you know it, it will be resolved. Good luck.

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D.S.

answers from Saginaw on

Why is a 2yr old still sleeping with her parents? That child needs her own bed. If she really needs something in the night, she'll let you know. Especially with a new baby coming. Do you realize how many babies and children are suffocated by parents rolling on them during sleep?

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T.W.

answers from Lansing on

You have two options:

1. Do it Gradually--Half water and continues to increase water until it is 100% water

2. cold Turkey--Take a long week-end and just do it, It will be less stressful if you and your husband do this when you do not have to get up for work

GL:)

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V.G.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Our daughters were never allowed to sleep with us. My husband is a light sleeper anyway, but we read a lot of negative information about co-sleeping. When our oldest was turning one, we began to ween her off the bottle (despite our day care providers protest). We were already pregnant with our second child, and wanted Josephine to understand that bottles were for the baby, and she wasn't a baby any more. By then she had given up her night time feeding and was on table food, so it was easy to transition her over to a sippy cup. By the time Trisana came along (6 months later), she was on a sippy cup and helping to feed little sister. I would recommend that you first move her to her own bed. Both of my girls were in big girl (twin size, not toddler) beds by age 2. They sleep a lot better when the aren't confined. Once you have her transitioned into her own bed - and make it fun for her, then you can work on pulling that bottle. I personally would go cold turkey. However, tell her before she goes to bed that now that she is the big girl, the bottles are for the baby, and she doesn't need it any more. If she is thirsty at night, leave a sippy cup close by, where she can reach it - with water in it, not milk. Our dr. actually warned about giving the girls milk in a sippy cup after their teeth had been brushed for the night. The milk can sit in their mouth for a long time, and apparently can cause some decay issues with the teeth - at least that's how it was explained to us. He said that if we needed to leave a sippy cup on the night stand, to have water in it, nothing else.

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K.W.

answers from Detroit on

I agree with most of the Moms, I too let my son and daughter have their bottles until the were almost 2 because I felt bad taking it away. But when they bit the nipple off I knew it was time, I told them if you bite it again its gone. They did and I said well thats it no more bottles for you my daughter didn't really even care but my son cried for a whole day and was very sad for about three days and then we went to the store and picked out new big boy cups and he never looked back. In short , set a date maybe on your day off so that your loss of sleep will not be too hard on you and say thats it cold turkey no more bottle at all not at night not during the day. Then just do it. You may loose some sleep it really won't take too long for her to get over it but at least you've gotten over that hurdle, it won't hurt her but it will probably hurt your feelings. Be strong and hang in there and don't give in to the sad face and crying because if you start you have to finish. It will be over in a few days. Then comes potty training and first days of school and many things that will be harder to do than this, kids are challenging all the time and we have to stay strong and be their leader to help them grow into wonderful well adjusted adults. Good luck, once you do it you'll wish you'd had done it a long time ago!

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K.M.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My dear A., My name is K. and I am a single mother of three little girls; ages 4yrs, almost 2yrs in June and 7 month old. I am in the same boat as you are with my almost 2 year old too. I work full time second shift job and I find it hard to get any sleep with having to keep up with three on my own. If it's not one, it's one of the other two that's up early in the morning or not sleeping through the night; So I know how much you value sleep and now that your expecting your second little one; sleep sounds so good when body is going through it's beautiful transitions. Congadulations!
As for taking care of the bottle issue; I just talk to her and tell her that she doesn't need a bottle and that bottles are for Baby Taylor {my youngest} (in your case the new baby), or baby's, tell her she's a big girl and that big girls don't drink out of bottles. I did cut Madison off cold turkey for the second time last night and of course she cried and cried, but didn't carry on as much and went to bed. During the time of her crying I just told her to calm down and that she'll be OK and just kept on reassuring her that she'll be OK and that she's a big girl. Like I said, I just did this again last night and this morning she asked for a sippy cup instead of the bottle. Working together with your husband and not giving in to what your little one wants, you may have just one or two big messy lack of sleep nights; but it will be all worth it when you get your first full nights sleep again. You know the one that didn't have anything to do with changing diapers or giving a bottle to your two year old, well just for a while until the new one gets here. Good Luck. Hope this helps and Take Care. ~K.

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B.P.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I have never had this problem, but I am concerned for everyone in your family. Not only do you have concerns with your 2 yr old still taking a bottle in the night, but she is sleeping with you and you have another on the way. Try to get it taken care of before your new little one arrives. I would suggest that when she wakes up asking for her bottle, just give her a sip and that's it. Do this for maybe three nights (once a night) and then stop altogether. That way it is not cold turkey, but you aren't prolonging it either. You also need to get her sleeping in her own bed. I have a friend whose 4 yr old is still sleeping with them. It is going to hurt your marriage eventually. If you make these adjustments early in the child's life it will be easier. You may have a few crying and sleepless nights, but it is worth it. If you stick to your plan, it should be solved in just a few days.

(Just a side note for an example and encouragement: we were reluctant to give our children a pacifier when they were babies because I kept seeing 4 and 5 yr olds walking around with pacifiers in their mouths and I didn't want that. A friend of mine said that she felt that way with her first child and at age 12 that daughter was still sucking her thumb. With her next children, she gave them a pacifier so they wouldn't suck their thumbs, and then she took the pacifier away at age 10 months. There was one or two nights of extra crying, but then it was over. I tried it, and it worked. My children cried for one or two nights and never sucked their thumbs.)

I hope it works out well for you and your family.

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C.S.

answers from Detroit on

You really need to just toss all the bottles. They are not good for a child her age. My cousin ended up with rotten teeth in the front from having a bottle at night. They had to have them pulled at about 3 years because they were totally distroyed and they are just now growing back and he's 9. He went 6 years with out teeth because his mom didn't want him to cry at night....worth it? Probably not. It is not good for that milk to sit on her teeth while she sleeps. Get rid of the bottle cold turkey and then decide if she needs to be in her own bed, co-sleeping works for some. That isn't hurting her physically, where the bottle could. Good Luck!

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A.M.

answers from Detroit on

I had a similar issue with my first child. When he was 10 months old I decided it was time for a change and that waking up several times a night to feed him wasn't good for me or him. I found a book from the library called "Solve your child's sleep problems" and it helped so much! It explained how my son couldn't fall to sleep on his own because he had never learned how and that we have rythms of sleep and that everyone (adults included) have a part of their sleep cycle in which they are sleeping lightly and/or they wake up, if your child only knows how to fall asleep with a bottle, they will need a bottle to get back to sleep. It talks about how you fall asleep with a pillow each night. If you woke up in the middle of the night, and your pillow was gone, you would wake up and start looking for it until you found it, because you aren't used to sleeping without a pillow. If you didn't have a pillow on your bed for a few days, it would be harder to get to sleep the first few days, but you would eventually get used to it and fall asleep just fine. It sounds to me like your child is only able to fall asleep with a bottle and when she wakes up in the night she can't get to sleep without it, because she has never learned how. Practice during the day at first, letting her cry. I also liked the book because it said that "cold turkey" doesn't always work because often the parents feel bad and give up. It said that a better solution is to check on them at a given interval (at 5 minutes, 10 minutes, then 15 minutes, then after that for every 15 minutes) until they fall asleep on their own. I am not sure how this will work if your child sleeps in bed with you, but perhaps you can just reassure her that you are there at those intervals. Each time it reinforces that you will not be giving her a bottle. Eventually she will learn to get to sleep on her own. You do have to be consistent for it to work. You also have to be determined. This may also be a good time to move her into her own room, considering you have another one on the way.

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A.G.

answers from Detroit on

Hey - A. looks like you got some great advice here!! I noticed several people were pushing you to get your daughter to sleep in her own room as well. I think thats a HUGE adjustment to try to throw at her along with taking away the bottle. Also if co-sleeping works for you as a family then there is nothing wrong with it and no reason at 2 she has to be out of your bed! I've never heard of a 16 yo still sleeping with mom and dad lol! Keep in mind also - she's getting up out of habit and not need. I like the gradually changing from milk to water - that may lessen the stress of the change on her. We've all been there at one time or another and know how hard cutting out that night time feeding is.

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S.H.

answers from Detroit on

I haven't had this problem yet, but our doctor suggested diluitng the milk with water gradually. Initially the bottle is all milk and eventually all water and the change has been subtle so that in theory by the end she won't want it anymore.

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C.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

You need to do this before #2 comes along or you will NEVER get any sleep!! We let our oldest sleep with us too and we really struggled with this as well. It will be a battle, but I think "Cold turkey" is the way to go. The fairy has to come and take the bottles to a baby that needs them or something. I agree with the others to do it over the weekend. With our kids, any transition like that was usually hard for 3 days and then got easier.

Good luck!

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J.D.

answers from Detroit on

My DD took a bottle until she was 3.5 y.o. At around 2 y.o. we started to water down the milk, making it less and less diluted until eventually we just gave her water. A few times we just said we didn't have any milk and that she could have water or nothing in the bottle. After we had her totally on water, we started decresing the amount of water in the bottle until eventually we just said no more water in the bottle. She would take an empty bottle to bed with her for about the last year that she had the bottle. Once we got to the empty bottle stage, we told her that tonight she could have the bottle but tomorrow night no bottle. Eventually she just forgot about it. It was a very long gradual process, but I think the most important thing was that we didn't just take it away and tell her she couldn't have it at all. I guess it depends on the kind of child you have but that's what worked for us! Good luck, once you get over this hurdle it will be something even more fun!

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P.N.

answers from Detroit on

Mine did that, too. He slept/sleeps with us and I work full time. My husband is a stay at home dad with a parttime eBay businss. The advice I got from someone about the babies sleeping with us (and I like to apply it to other things, too)... Don't worry, your child won't go to college and still want to sleep with you. So, your child will some time before she goes to college, stop taking the bottle in the middle of the night. Some practical advice: Have the bottles prepared so, you don't have to become fully awake, maybe even a cooler pack near the bedside? Make them smaller each night and she'll eventually stop. Mine did. It was really dry in the house when he was at the height of asking for bonkies. Maybe a humidifier?

that's all the advice I got for now, good luck!
P.

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T.H.

answers from Detroit on

I don't know if my last response posted. My computer did something weird. Hire a sitter and make sure they know that they will not get any sleep. i would go cold turkey. No bottle, no parent even comes in the room. Tell your child that they are 2 and that they now have to sleep through the night on their own. Sounds strict, but your sleep (and sanity) is important. Read Parenting with Love and Logic by Cline and Fay it has great ideas.

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N.A.

answers from Lansing on

You could have her take all her bottles to a shelter or volunteers of America. We cut the bottle at about 15 months. I am a cold turkey mom. We give bottles and binkies to a shelter for other babies

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A.M.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi A.! You poor thing! I can feel your pain. I worked FT when my son was that age, too. Here's what I think...you need to go cold turkey. It'll be a rough week - with no sleep - but it'll pay off. TRUST ME. There's an end in sight if you go cold turkey - but there isn't if you continue as is. You need to teach her to sleep through the night. I would pick up a sleep book (Weisbluth book is awesome) before the new baby is born. Sleep issues are so hard. Hang in there. YOU CAN DO IT!

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