HELP! My 2-Year-old Is Driving Me Crazy!

I would say it sounds like you have tried the lovey dovey approach and now it is time to be firm. Being firm doesn't have to mean screaming all the time but we are animals and (excuse the comparisian) children need to know who the leader of the pack is. If she running don't chase her that's the game she wants,if she throws food then feeding is over, if she was hungry it would be in her mouth not the floor,get a bed tent if she's getting up,if she screamiong then fine, let her scream ALONE in her room (or designated area, if she's saying "no" then no more open ended questions ie:"do you want a bath" WRONG!!! "do you want to bathe now or after this book"?. It's eay to get wrapped up in always trying to be nice but we can't always be the favorite and the world doesn't work like that. There have to be set in stone rules and of course there are always the rules that are bendable but rules and RESPECT are essential. You are not doing yourself, your child your newborn,your marriage and the public that have to deal with the tantrums any favors by letting her be a brat. Kids only push as long and as far as you let them. Ask yourself if you are enjoying time spent with her then ask yourself if YOU are ready to stop this pattern.

I've been reading the Happiest Toddler on the Block for 1-4 year olds, it is a great book. I think he has a DVD version too, I know he does for the baby version. Go to amazon and buy the book or DVD, you and your husband can read/watch it together, it is an easy read and I feel has helped me already with my 16m old. As for the sleep, I wish I can get mine to sleep past 5:30am...

Congrats and good luck, I am sure it is very challenging.

J.

I don't have any advice but am curious to hear some responses/suggestions. My 2-1/2 year old has also become more challenging. Not to the extent of your little girl, but still, I find it hard to keep my cool. I'm due with a baby in 2-1/2 months and am not sure if that is part of his regression - or if this is just a phase that is normal. His tantrums are more frequent. His coping while having a meltdown is to cry for his buddies, blankets and passy (which he only gets at bedtime). Every little thing sets him off - and then he cries for his "crutches". Bed time is a nightmare. We just moved him in with his 17 mo old brother and he has been a terror. Instead of taking 10-15 minutes to go to sleep - now it is 1 to 1-1/2 hours, which is also affecting his little brothers sleep. I'm sorry I don't have answers, but hope it helps a little that you aren't alone ...

We should put our daughters in a room together to duke it out while the parents enjoy a much needed hot toddy in the kitchen together. :-)

You only _think_ I'm being inappropriate and wrong, but I think there's a little merit to my plan. We also have extreme cabin fever with the weather. We don't do nearly enough socializing and it makes everybody in our household crabby. My 22 mo-old daughter isn't in daycare and without playground time, doesn't get the chance to play and battle things out with other children. And we miss having other parents to commiserate with.

So if you live on the northside of Chicago, email me! We'll hang out. It may not make your daughter's behaviors any better, but it may help give you the energy to deal. :-)

It is so hard. It will get better as long as you choose the battles you are willing to fight, stick to your stand on those issues, be consistent and don't waver a bit. She's testing, she's expressing her feelings and what is going on inside of her. I know it is hard to find time to spend just with her with the baby being so little and you being so tired, but it is very important for her in order to help her through this stage. If you can spare 15 minutes a day with only her time it will go a long way. I use a timer and when the timer goes off it is the timer it is the timer dictating when the special time ends not you, not the baby. Right before the 15 minutes plan the activity that the two of you are going to do together, set it up and once you are ready make sure daddy has baby or baby is sleeping and put on the timer. Don't let anything distract you from her, no phone, you lists that go on in your mind she'll know. Be ever present for those 15 minutes not only will she reap the benefits but so will you. Have fun!