Help, My 2 1/2 Yr Old Won't Sleep in Her Own Bed!

We put up a tent in my daughter's room, just a little lady bug thing. Her crib mattress fit in the floor of it, and we let her sleep in the sleeping bag. Eventually, we moved her out into a toddler bed; it was because she started poking on the windows and pulling the netting off. She had forgotten by that time that she hadn't wanted to sleep in a toddler bed. Now she's 5 and she still sleeps in the sleeping bag on a big twin bed.

Hi...
I had the same problem with both my 5 year old daughter and my 3 year old son. I still have not been able to get my son out of my bed, but with my daughter, I told her she could sleep in my bed if she wants, but I do not allow any "blankies", drinks, or stuffed animals in my bed. She had to "choose" and her "blankie" won out. My son on the other hand could care less!! I have tries everything else with him to no avail! If you find a different solution, let me know. Good Luck!

Hi J. -

I'd like to be a dissenting voice. It always grieves me when loving parents assign such sinister intentions to small children. Running your household? Training you? Your child isn't even capable of knowing the difference between fiction on TV and real life. Forcing her to cry may get you some sleep, but at what price?

There are two books I very highly recommend that will help you BOTH, not just one of you. The first is called Sweet Dreams by Dr. Paul Fleiss and the second is The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Both have tons of realistic and compassionate ideas about how to rid your child's day of the things that interfere with sleep and encourage a peaceful night for both of you.

I'm not a fan of letting kids cry to sleep either. When one of my daughters started coming in our room every night and wanting to sleep in our bed, I offered to let her sleep with the blanket off of our bed in her bed if she would stay in her bed at night. It worked for her! Find something comforting to her that she can bring to her bed. Make sure you have a bed time routine with lots of loves and stories and songs-I usually stay there until they are asleep if they want me there, but I make sure they understand that I am going to sleep in my own bed and that that is ok.

Hello J.,
When my son was two we moved to a bigger house. His new room was down the hall from ours and because we were going to have a baby soon we put him in a toddler bed. Everything was so new that he had a hard time sleeping in his room. I tried the bear that plays the mothers heart beat and that really helped Toby sleep in his new "big boy" bed. I also used it when my daughter moved to her "big girl" bed on our last move. Both times the bear helped relax the children and let them go to sleep on there own.

My name is C., I am a stay at home mom with a five year old boy and a three year old girl. I also works from home. I hope that you are able to find something to help your daughter sleep in her bed.

Hi J., Trust me, the longer you let her in your bed, the worse it is. Let her cry it out NOW!!!! The first time or two will be the worst, but it will get easier pretty quickly. If you give in, you teach her that screaming and crying about something is a way she can get what she wants. Unless you want her in your bed for years to come, nip it in the bud!!!

we had the same problem with our now 3 1/2 year old. I KNOW we didn't do it correctly, but we did what worked for us.
(not only did he have a fit with going to sleep, he would cry so hard he would throw up every time and every night!).
We started bribing him with things and compromised on others.
To get him to sleep, we allowed him to settle in our bed. Once he was asleep we move him into his bed. We told him that if he falls asleep in mommys bed, we are going to move him into his bed. If he slept through the night in his bed (which he didn't always...he would sneak back into ours at all hours of the night) he could get a piece of gum, or a tatoo or chocolate milk in the morning.
Over time....it has worked very well for us and he has stopped asking for treats and is very proud of himself for sleeping all night in his bed. We do pick up little things here and there, a small toy or some incentive, and give it to him as a surprise for sleeping in his bed all night for 3 or 4 nights in a row.
We have not yet tackled the going to sleep in his own bed, that will be soon, BUT we needed to take some baby steps with him. He is a mama's boy---and he does enjoy his quiet time with me every night. It really is our special time to talk and laugh and settle down before he goes to sleep.

I wish you luck....someone also told me to try melatonin to get him to fall asleep in his own bed. They are so tired after taking it they don't fight it as much. After a couple of days of doing it...they get use to falling asleep in their bed and you wean them off the melatonin. I will let you know if we try that one....
Good luck!

Hi J.,
I didn't have the heart to let my daughter "cry it out" either... until I was absolutely at the end of my rope! I strongly agree with you; do NOT put her in bed with you. That will only give you TWO problems to deal with. I'm afraid I don't have any new suggestions, but maybe I can give you the benefit my experience?

We did end up letting our daughter cry it out. It was one of the most agonizingly difficult things I've ever done. (She, of course, has absolutely no memory of it.) I felt like I was the world's most awful ogre mother from hell. It really was horrible.

HOWEVER... The first night was 2 1/2 hours (oh my G O D!) The second night was 45 minutes (still pretty rough, but encouraging) The third night was 15 minutes, The fourth night was a single "waah!" and that was it. I never had to deal with it again. (Although I will admit that we have had some "slumber party" nights on occasion as a special treat).

Every kid is different, and not all things work for all people. I only know that it worked for me. Just remember, it's TEMPORARY! You'll BOTH (you and your child) be okay. I promise. There are those who believe it's wrong, but I strongly disagree. My daughter is a very well adjusted, brilliant 17 year old young woman, and is such a delight in my life.

I wish you much grace under fire, and an abundance of God's patience & blessings.

Hi J. - oh the fun days of toddlerhood!!! I have a 5yr old son and also a 22 month old that will be transitioning to a bed soon as well. They are so alike and so different all at once, I'm not sure what to expect the second time around. Hopefully my experience from our first will help you.

First of all, let me say that you're going to get a lot of people telling you the "right" way to do this, but just remember that the way you choose to help your daughter transition into her bed is the right way to do it. You're the mom and mom always knows best.

I personally have never liked the "cry it out" philosophy for the little ones - I wanted my kids to always feel safe and secure and never abandoned. It didnt make sense to me - they cry when they need me so I let them cry longer which makes then angry and insecure so they cry even harder and longer until they finally reach a point of resignation that I'm not coming and they give up asking?? bleh. (older kids are another story - when my son was 4, "crying it out" was often what he needed to help him vent and get through a tantrum.)

Back to bedtime - First off, my husband and I decided in advance that our kids would never sleep with us in our bed or even in our bedroom. It helped to set a ground rule so I wasn't tempted just to pull him into bed with me. It was important to my husband that our bed was OUR bed and I wanted to honor that.

From the beginning, we made bedtime and anything to do with the bedroom a 100% positive and fun experience. Timeouts etc. were never done in the bedroom. The bedroom was always promoted as a fun, safe and secure place to be. We kept to a routine at bedtime - after washing up, we read books and then sung lullabies with the nightlight on until he got really really really sleepy, then I would sneak out. This was a lot like when he was an infant learning to sleep in his crib. We set the rule with him that he had to stay in his bed. We also closed his door and kept the hallway dark so he would be less inclined to venture out of his dimly lit room into a dark hallway to come into our room.

I used afternoon naptime to start the process of teaching him to go to sleep on his own. At about the same time every day, we read one book in his room, sang one song, and then it was time for nap. I tucked him into bed with his special bear and blanket and then left the room and closed the door. If he cried or called for me, I made a point to run up to his room as fast as I could so he knew I was available. I would spend 15 secs checking diapers, etc. then tuck him back in bed with a kiss and the statement that it was naptime. I also never took him out of his room to let him sleep somewhere else. It was always in his own bed, even for naps. I didn't sweat the fact that he got out of bed to play with toys as long as he stayed in his room because I figured it was his way of winding down and getting sleepy. Plus - it was still quiet time for mom! A couple of days went by where I would find him asleep on the floor and I would put him back into bed. One day, I decided to just let him sleep where he was even though he was facedown on the carpet, no blanket, etc. I was curious if he would learn anything from it. I purposely did not say anything to him when he woke about sleeping on the floor nor did I enable it by covering him up, etc. Later at bedtime, I talked about how nice and comfy his bed was and that if he got out of bed, he could just climb back in if he was tired. No condemnation just equipping. He only slept on the floor that one day. He still got up to play with toys but since the door was closed and he stayed in his room, I didnt bug him about it. He always got tired and napped. Especially at first, I allowed plenty of time (2 1/2 - 3 hours) for him to get to sleep and then to have a good nap. I rarely rushed the process and didn't overschedule.

Were we "lucky"? you bet! But I also think I did the job I set out to do. I established in a loving, reassuring, and non-condemning way that "I'm the Mom". I kept it positive, set simple ground rules, kept consistent no matter what, allowed him to feel some consequences like waking up with "carpet head", and I was matter of fact about sleeping in his bed - no high emotions, coercion, fights etc. We gave him a lot of love and reassurance. We never threatened him with a "get to bed or else!" or told him that it was time to grow up and be a "big boy". We just set the rules and helped him to follow them.

Sorry about the novel! I hope this helps you and that you and your daughter have great success!

I know you don't want to hear your child cry. It is so sad to see them sad. My daughter started coming out of her bed when she was almost 2 1/2. My son was 3 weeks old and it was so rough on me getting up with him in the night and then having to put my daughter back in her room. With the advice from her pediatrician, I put a lock on the outside of her door. I told her it was time for bed and she needed to stay in her room. She tried coming out and realized that she couldn't and she cried for 40 minutes. After she had not been crying for about 20 minutes, I went to check on her and she was tucked into her bed with her stuffed animal and blankets on. She just had to know that she needed to stay in her bed. After that, we didn't have to lock the door. She was good about staying in her room. She will come out every now and then to go potty in the middle of the night or if she has a scary dream, but locking her door was the thing that worked for us. I know it sounds SO mean, but it helped. She is almost 5 now and has no memories of being locked in her room. Good luck.

My daughter still occasionally requests this, and she's 7! She hasn't gotten her way since she was about your daughter's age though. We got our daughter a little clock radio with digital numbers. We would turn on the radio to a classical music station and tell her to watch the numbers on the clock change. I would promise to come back in 15 minutes and check on her. I think only one time after that was she awake after 15 minutes. My daughter also loved Dora and the Princesses when she was that age (still does) and I had a stuffed Dora doll that was her size and she could sleep with it for company. Hope it works for you if you try it!

try putting her ped next to yours and sleep like that a night or 2.
Just a thought

You won't care for my response probably - but your daughter needs to learn how to comfort herself - which means she will need to cry it out and learn that she can calm herself down. Which later in life will be better anyways - because she may find herself in situations where you won't be there to comfort her. You are not a bad mom if you let her cry for a couple nights. I have three daughters who are the love of my life and they all go to bed like angels - but only because they learned to - you just have to teach her to. Good luck.

I have to say that after reading many of reponses - there are many ways of parenting. You are not necesarily looking for a solution - but probably someone to tell you what you want to hear in order to justify your actions. Kids cry sometimes - they cry not just when they are sad, but when they are angry and upset, when they are frustrated etc. You can't avoid it - I look at parenting as a job. It is my job to raise kids that are comfortable with themselves, happy, considerate, independent, self motivated etc. This is just part of the process that teaches them some of that. We've all cried ourselves to sleep at some point - and it was not the end of our self confidence. We didn't wake up hating our parents and most of us are confident adults. Anyways - good luck - it sounds like you are getting a lot of conflicting advice. I just know that my three girls - are very happy well adjusted girls that enjoy time with the whole family as well as alone time too. They still get up in the middle of the night - and sometimes I find them camping on my floor - but I never let them start the night out that way - and 9 out of 10 nights they wake up where they went to sleep never having cried a minute. Try books on tape, nightlights, books to look at in bed, etc. She'll learn.

This may sound funny but we have been trying to teach our kid about money and the importance of saving it so when we were having this problem we went back to the money thing.
At night we put a quarter on her dresser, we told her that if she stayed in her bed all night the quarter would be there in the morning and she could put it in her money jar for a weekly prize. If she got out as soon as she did the quarter was taken off the dresser and put in mom and dads money jar.. It took a whole week but it worked...and finally was downsized to nickles, still big but not as $$$. :) good luck

Also...make sure she or he feels safe, monster spray, nightlights,..

I was a co-sleeper with all 4 of my kids--oldest 9 & youngest 13 months. This worked for us, but some may "gasp" but oh well -it worked. We used a calming dvd to help them to fall asleep. One daughter loved "Finding Nemo", but usually we used one of the Fantasia dvds--the pictures engaged them enough to keep them in bed and the classical music lulled them to sleep. We did transition them to just classical music within 6 months to a year--as soon as the "pictures" kept them awake instead of in bed. It worked for 3 kids & my nine year old is very bright, so I don't think it hurt him academically--he listens to classical music to go to bed every night. Hope that helps.

I had much the same problem with my daughter. My problem started because I breast fed her and was so tired that I would rather let her sleep in our bed then to get up and take her back to her own. She also REALLY didn't like a toddler bed. I finally got a double bed for her and she took to it much better than the toddler. I think that she just wanted to have a "big people" bed. It wasn't an overnight transition, but after a while she realized that I wasn't budging. I also made the transition to the larger bed at Christmas and made it a "Santa" gift so that helped. I also instituted reading a few books a night before bed which gave her a reason to get into her bed and start to feel sleepy and comfortable there. Good Luck! I hope that you get a good night's sleep soon!

My friend had this same problem with her daughter. She made her daughter's bed and bedroom as fun as she could--she got her one of those fairy nets to put over her bed (if you aren't sure what I am talking about, look in the Magic Cabin catalog online--I think it's called a fairy bower? It's like a mosquito net, only pink with flowers). She also let her daughter pick out her own sheet and comforter set. I think they even repainted the room. There are all sorts of cute Princess and Dora things out there--you could really get crazy with that stuff and make her bed and room really "hers". Good luck!

Hello- I am a mom to two daughters (7 and almost 3). I highly recommend the book "No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers," by Elizabeth Pantley. The library has it. Blessings to your family on your journey!

I am not a fan of the whole cry it out method either, having said that at 2 1/2 a child is able to understand you. If the problem is laying her down, then set a good routine, and lay her in bed, I like to sit by the bed until they fall asleep ther first few night, and then After that I let them know that I am going out, and everytime they come out I put them right back in bed, I tell them it is night-night time, she will cry, she doesn't want you to go but they are OK, usually it takes a week with mine because I won't let them get hystarical. I forgot to add that I have been known to make a pallet on my floor for them, and then once they are sleeping good through the night, I start the routine above, and for the night waking the principal is the same, sit by the bed, reassure that you are thier and then leave, it is very tiring those first few nights, but it does work and doesn't have to be tramatic for the whole family,Good luck, I too have slept on the floor a few times!

First, she is running the show in your home. She will cry it out one night bad, then it will lessen then she will get in her own bed and sleep well. It takes time and patience, both of which she has learned when you will cave, when she cries. Make a bedtime ritual, make it very clear she is not to get out of bed and needs her sleep, tuck her in, kisses and hugs and walk out the door. If she gets up, then go back and put her into bed. It isn't up for discussion, debate or anything else, do not prolong the goodnight process either. She is learning how and when you will give in. In a few nights I promise she will calm down, be used to the ritual and realize that she needs to sleep in her own bed. Crying is her way of saying she isn't happy, unfortunately they need to realize that it is okay to be unhappy, but she still has to do what mommy needs her to. If you don't nip this in the bud now, even though it sounds harsh, you are setting her up for thinking she gets her way if she cries long enough. You are not punishing her, you are putting her in her own bed which at her age she needs. Ultimately you are really doing a good thing for her by being consistent and following through, I promise.

J., here:
http://www.mamasource.com/request/18071813551042854913

is a bunch of advices, including how I dealt with it.

Good luck, happySleep for all Your family!
M.

We had similar problems when my husband and I switched roles and he had the night duty. Our daughter has never been a 'good sleeper', but she absolutley hated her crib starting @ about 16 mos. We were ready to change her crib to a toddlet bed when we discovered, it only went from crib to full size bed. So not wanting to take up all of her small room wiht a full size bed, we tried the queen size air matress we had. Turns out is perfect, she can crawl in and out all by herself, allows us to play on the bed and floor area without the worry of her falling off a big person bed or climb over any saftey railing, and best of all it's comfy for us. Since we switched she has become a better sleeper, although we still occaionally get a night vistor in our room to whihc one of us crawls into to her bed till she's out - whihc is normally a brief few minutes. While my mom may not be crazy about the bed on the floor look, Kendall loves it and it just the right size for her (and comfy for us).

good luck....

tough love is the only way I know of. you could also make her do some extra exercise during the day and maybe make her more tired so that in the end her fighting to get into your bed isn't as constant then just laying down and getting some sleep. also if it takes you a while to get her to bed then put her to bed earlier, (even if it is still light out)and itll go away over time. if your not in your bed then she will have to do it on her own. BUT it will take determination on your part. if she gets out of bed and comes to you, take her by the hand and walk her right back to her room and tell her to go to sleep. it worked for me when i was little. Then when she does start making progress make a big deal out of it. To let her know that you are happy when she does these things. Positive reenforcement is always needed amongst kids. that and schedule, schedule, schedule. kids need structure. start early and get to bed on time. if you don't have energy then your both in trouble.

Stick with it you need to stand your ground. I know it's hard she can truly break your heart. But be consistant. When she get up, put her back to bed. Again and again and again. Trust me after about a week of the consistancy she will be sleeping in her big girl bed.

Mother of 4 youngest 13 mo., oldest 12 yrs

Hi J.. I am a mom of a five year old and nearly three year old expecting number 3! I do understand the frustrations of trying to get your child to sleep in their own bed. I am afraid that she will cry some and that just can't be avoided and she will be ok. Here are some things that worked for us when dealing with our first one. He didn't want to do his bed thing either. So, I made sure that the bedtime routine was very consistent each night and each night I talked to him about what was expected of him. I would sometimes sit outside his door with the door cracked so I could hear him and just sit quietly. Sometimes this comforted him and it also let him know that he wasn't going to get up and wander around. That if he did he would only be put back into bed. I did not respond to requests for food, toys and extra drinks when I knew very well he had all he needed. I would just simply put him back in bed and leave it at that. Eventually it got to where I didn't have to sit outside his door anymore. He just knew that once he was in bed he needed to stay. It took lots of patience and time. Now keep in mind we had a few nights that he did cry and he would just have to cry. It didn't last long and now he is so easy to put to bed. We read a book, say prayers and that is it. He is off. Now my second one that is your daughters age is a bit harder with bed time but I am starting to do with him what I did with the first except he does require more cuddle time and rocking, singing a bit and all that but he is getting it. He does cry sometimes but again, it isn't long and he just knows now that the crying isn't going to work. Part of the reason they keep crying is because somewhere along the way they have received what they wanted from crying so they know it will work. Not a criticism of you but experience by my own mistakes. Children will cry and they are just fine and are not left with any lasting scars. It still doesn't make it easy on our mommy hearts but our little ones really need to learn. Oh here is a thought. My youngest one is right at that age that he will nap but if he does then bedtime is a lot harder. So I have adjusted his schedule that if he naps I make sure it is early in the day and not for a real long time. Most of the time I just really keep him busy during the day and then he is much easier and willing to go down at night. Just something I thought of. I wish you luck and I do hope some of this helps.
R.

Hey J.! I know it is hard to make your baby sleep in her own bed. I have a 3 year old that I had the same problem with. But honestly tough love in this situation is best. After a couple of nights of agonizing crying she will very rarely have a problem sleeping in her bed alone (without you on the floor). Before I got married about 7 months ago, my husband would let his daughter just climb into bed to sleep whenever she wanted and her mother to this day still lets her sleep with her. Now we are having a very hard time breaking her of this. She is now five years old. My daughter started sleeping in her own bed when she was two. Needless to say it is the five year old instead of the two yr. old we are having trouble with. The longer you let her sleep with you or you sleep in her room with her the harder it will be to break her of it. In the end a couple nights of her throwing fits and acting like she is being tortured is better than endless nights of no sleep for you or her. Its hard to just let her stay in her room crying, but she mostly does it because you do give in, in one way or another. You have to think of the outcome in the longrun and she will come to accept it.

Good Luck,
My twin 3 1/2 year olds still won't sleep all night in their beds! It really helps my kids to have a night light. They usually fall asleep in their room and come crawl into our bed about 3am
I got really tired of having a bad back in the morning from being uncomfortable all night long just because I refused to let them back into our bed, so I compromised. I get to sleep more and not be sore the next morning and they get 3-4 hours in our bed!

I am totally going through the same thing, but my son is 18 months old. He is my third, and although i absolutely hate it, i have to let him cry. Its the only way. But heres how to make it easier for mom. Watch your clock. She wont cry nearly as long as u think. And give ur self a timeline. After 10 minutes i am going to rock her, hold her but i wont let her in my bed. Then put her down again, u will be surprized how quickly she falls asleep. It may be harder for u cause she is so much older. I put a 4 year old out of my bed too, and it was horrible. But he was old enough to say hey go to bed. Now. Out. It took two weeks for him to stop crying in his own room. Either way they are going to cry it out. U may wait until she is older, if u dont want to do it the hard way w/ a toddler. Trust me i know how u feel!!!

I had a similar problem with my firstborn several years ago. Finally I figured out this truth: IF YOU DON'T TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN, THEY WILL TRAIN YOU!!
It was difficult and painful to let him cry it out when we finally made him sleep in his own bed, but I reminded him each night when I said goodnight to him, that we loved him, he had everything he needed, and we were just in the other room. The "retraining" period felt long at the time, but it really only took about a week until he was used to the new routine.
Be strong, be patient, and DON'T GIVE IN, because ultimately you're teaching your child valuable coping skills and a sense of independence, which are far more important in the long run than a few tearful bedtimes. Remember, YOU are the parent, and YOU know best. Train her, don't let her train you!
LOVE, A.

Please be patient with your little girl. She wants to sleep with you because she loves the closeness and cuddling. We sleep with our husbands for the same reason. A friend mentioned to me once that it was very interesting for people to let their animals into their beds but force their children to sleep in another room alone. One other thought I'm having...my son was over 4 years old when my twins were born. He seemed really grown up and ready to be a big boy. Since I had my hands full with two babies it just seemed he was being overly needy and I have to admit I refused him at times or set up the TV for him to distract him. When I look back now (5 years later) I realize what a little boy he was and how much he needed me. It makes me want to go back and be able to hug that little boy again. Our children need us for a long time. We never did the family bed thing in our house but we did and still do lay down/sleep with our children (we put full or queen beds in their rooms for our own comfort). Our now 9 year old talks to us the best in the half hour before he falls asleep. We're trying to hold onto that time of true connection with him for as long as possible. Good luck with what ever you try! -J.

hi, i read your question and thought about how my son had the same problem. my husband is a truck driver too so i started to let my son sleep in the same room with me cause i was afraid i would be lonely with my husband gone. so my son used to sleep on the couch when he took naps and then he would sleep on the couch when he would go to bed. i finally got him in the habbit of getting him to sleep in his crib.
i watch the suppernanny show and she has a lot of good ideas. i would still put your daughter in a crib that way she cant get out. or if you want her to use her bed then what suppernanny does is you've got to keep reinforcing your daughter that she has to sleep in her big girl bed. if she cries it's a way of testing you and dont let it get to you, if you have to step outside and take a deep breath and just keep reinforcing her that she's a bg girl and needs to sleep in her big girl bed. after a while she will get the idea and will sleep in her bed.
another idea is to read her a bedtime story and maybe sing her a favorite song, get her into the habbit of sleeping in her bed. when she takes naps put her in her bed and just keep reinforcing that she's a big girl and make it seem fun to sleep in her bed.
my son would cry if i left the room and like i said i would usually read him a bedtime story and sing him a song so he would go to sleep when those ideas didnt work i would just let him cry and ignore it. it's ok for them to cry it strenghthens their lungs. reinforcing the idea and getting him not to sleep on the couch has been great cause now i know he wont roll off the couch and fall on the floor and i can get things done around the house while he's sleeping.
hope this idea works, sorry for rambling on
take care,
E.

I wasn't able to deny my child and to put up with the crying at 3 am like all the books and advice say to do. I"ve read and heard that being consistent about your expectations and waiting it out until they get used to the idea works. But I started sleeping in my child's twin bed till she fell asleep again, which was hard on me cuz she's a bed hog. So finally I compromised, and I let her sleep on the floor next to my bed. I give her a pillow and blanket, but nothing under her except carpet. I don't want to set up a real "bed" for her and make it that convenient. I'll even reach down and hold her hand till she falls asleep. Then we all get a good night sleep. It took a few weeks for her to learn to come into my room instead of just calling for me (I think she was between 3 and 4 when she started doing this). I also lay in her bed with her until she falls asleep when she first goes to bed at night. Like someone else mentioned, we have the best conversations during that time. It's the only time of day she'll let me see into her head. She's an only child, almost 5 now, and only occasionally comes into my room at night at this point.

I feel for you! We just went through this with our 2 1/2 year old! It was very hard at first-but consistency is what worked best. At night we would have him do the bed-time ritual with us-got started early-about 8:30 or 9. Then we would put him in his bed with a movie of his choice and or read him a few stories. We (mostly I) would tell him goodnight and see ya in the morning-lots of kisses and hugs of course-then I would leave. The first few nights he'd come in to my room crying, and I would take him back to his bed and tuck him in-sometimes if he wasn't throwing a fit-I would sit by his bed for a few minutes. Eventually he just stayed in his room and is even sleeping through the night. There were about 2 nights when we first started that I would have to shut his door when I laid him down, so he knew he had to stay there-but now I don't. We also rewarded him the next day a few times with a cheapo toy or new bedtime book. It was very tireing for me, but a few sleepless nights have been worth it in the long run. Take care!

Some questions to ask yourself. What time are you putting her to bed? What time does she wake up?

My own son refuses to go to bed until everybody is in bed. He is so afraid he is going to miss something. But he doesn't have a problem getting up either. So for him going to bed at 10 pm and waking up at 7-8 am is normal. He isn't cranky for not going to bed at 8:30 with his sisters.

With your husband gone, she may think that she can fill that space in your bed. Set the ground rules and it will take a few weeks, but you have to be consistent. Set a good bedtime routine that will take about 1/2-1 hour. You decide what you do to help unwind her from the day. (bath, reading time, etc). Do most of it in her room. Night lights are awesome! Give her something for comfort and on her level, talk to her and explain that "she is a big girl with a big girl bed and she is so lucky to get to sleep in it and needs to stay in her bed because she is so big now that there isn't enough room for her to sleep in mommy's bed". And then start putting her in bed, continually, it will get tiresome, but DON'T give in.

Good Luck and have fun!!