HELP!!!! My 2 1/2 Year Old Is So Disagreeable...

Stop trying so hard to please him. He's 2.5 and needs alot of structure and routine. Contrary to what some of people believe, kids this age don't need to have a choice in everything or a ton of variety. Alot of kids do best when they know whats coming next. All the decisions and choices just stress them out and their behavior shows this. Try sticking to a strict routine for your son. Waking time, breakfast time, daycare, meals, naps, bedtime, etc... Don't give him a choice for meals. Serve what you want. If he doesn't want it, then he doesn't eat. Put him to bed when its time (early--before he gets overtired) and leave the room. Let him cry if he needs to. Reward for good behavior and time-out for bad behavior. If you time-out it has to be every single time he misbaves. Basically, consistency is the key in my experience. Don't overwhelm him with possibilities. Your the parent and you make the decisions, down to what underwear he's wearing that morning. Don't argue, he clearly likes getting a rise from you. If you feel like you are going to start arguing with him, say nothing and walk away. Completely ignore his whining or no's. Come back when he's done and finish what you were doing. All his behavior is normal, he is learning how to manipulate you and get what he wants. He is also overwhelmed with all the choices and things going on. Just simplify it for him for awhile. Lots of rest, a strict routine and I think you will see some changes in his behavior. You will definitely be able to pinpoint what is triggering the bigger meltdowns by following a schedule. I think sometimes as adults we think our kids need all the variety and spice of life that we crave, when they really don't. Kids just need rest, love, and a place to play. If he is in anything other than daycare, I would probably drop it as too many activities cause over-stimulation. Kids are way over-scheduled these days. This may be his way of asking you to just slow down the pace a bit. Good luck, I hope this helps.

Welcome to the 2's! They are little tyrants...but it's not totally their fault. The only way I made it through each of the stages was to say in my head "he's only 2 he's only 2". Your son is starting to want to be independent and he doesn't yet know how to control his emotions...a wonderful combination. There's a lot of little tricks you can do...let him dress himself if he wants, but be there to help if he needs it...then if he can't or won't dress himself do it for him. Yes, he'll be mad, yes, he'll thrash around but it has to be done. Altho also remember to pick your battles. If you are going to the grocery does he really need to change out of his jammies or can you let that one slide? At age 2 my daughter went to day care in her jammies a lot--no one cared if she was in her jammies-- I even put her in her favorite Buzz Lightyear jammies if I knew I had to get going the next day. Then when she said she wanted to wear them all day I'd look at her like it was a big deal, sigh and say "OK, just this once". She thought she had won some big battle and I was able to get going to work quicker! That is very very important--pick your battles!If he won't put on his shoes or let you help...then you don't go for a walk outside...this way he learns there are consequences for actions. If your son starts throwing or hitting then it's time for a 2 minute time out. If he picks something to eat then says he won't eat it...you can allow one change and then no more or no changes at all once it's picked. 1-2-3 Magic is a good book check it out. And remember some things are non-negotiable...if he won't let you buckle him up--too bad--you are Mom you gotta keep your kid safe. But one other thing, if your child gets mad, starts screaming and throwing a tantrum because he's frustrated, don't just tell him to calm down--show him HOW to calm down. Tell him to take a breath, blow it out, and tell him it's ok Mommy will help you calm down. I always thought 2 was easier than 3. At 2 a kid really doesn't understand how to calm down or why he's getting so pissed--but at age 3 they are better able to control and just choose not to. Good luck---everything will be a battle for awhile. Get a mantra Mom, start breathing yourself and soon this will be a memory.

Instead of fighting with him, just tell him what's expected. I sometimes struggle to get my 19 month old to wash her hands before we eat, so I just simply tell her, "please let me know when you'd like help washing your hands, until then, I'm just going to eat without you." I then walk away and literally start eating my lunch, etc.

Who knows what she will be like when she is 2.5 years old, but I really think it's important to not let them pick fights. So don't even engage in it, walk away. Also, don't ask questions that can be answered with a Yes or No. My daughter seems to only know the word NO --I swear!

One thing I do that I find helpful is this: give choices that really are directives. So, instead of letting him pick out his own clothes, say to him "do you want to wear this or this." Instead of saying "it's bedtime," say "do you want to read X book or Y book before we go to bed." By asking these sorts of questions, their brains gets busy with making a decision, as opposed to busy trying to exert control. I've been potty training my daughter, and when I think she needs to go potty but isn't willing to stop what she's doing, I tend to throw out questions like this, and itworks like a charm.

would you like to eat apple or pear?
would you like to get in bed or have me carry you
would you like to put your coat on or have me do it

as long as the choices are all things you can live with and things you can follow through with.

would you like to stop wining or do you need to go in your room for some quiet time?

OK! looks like you need quiet time, let me know when you are done!

: )
i got one headed for 2 and i'm holding on! its much harder the 2nd time around i think!

Oh- I know your pain :) My daughter is about 27 months and she is such a chore to get dressed. My husband says it is because I give her too many "choices" and too much freedom and she needs more of "this is the way it is"...he has way less problems with her than I do. So, I have started a 5 count (she is used to 3 counts leading up to a time out-unless she hits her 11 mo old brother --then it is instant) and that is her time to make a choice. I count slowly. If I get to five, it is MOMMY'S CHOICE. I also limit her options and lay out just a few sets of clothes rather than giving her free-reign. I have also tried bribing with a sticker if all else fails :) (like getting her to wear tights and not have bear legs to Church in 35 degree weather yesterday). It has helped. Because I started giving her choices, she now thinks she has a choice about everything...I do not plan to make the same mistake with my little 11 mo old man! Hard to rope them in once you give too much slack!

Good luck....proceed slowly because if you take all his choices away immediately, he will be a terror -- I am sure - ha!