Hi S., Your problem is very common to many parents. You are the parent and should train the child to do what you know best is for her. When she begins nursery school, kindergarten, or primary school she will have rules to follow and the sooner she learns to follow rules, whether it be in the home from parents, grandparents, or baby sitter , she will be a much calmer child and will have learned to respect the "authority " figure. As a parent, you set the rules, children must follow, otherwise it is the child setting the rules and parents follow which causes much frustration and later on much humiliation,
I had four kids, each are a little different in nature, some more stubborn than others. For my husband and I, it was important that they be a part of the family as soon as they could sit in their high chair. When we sat down for a meal, they sat with us until we all had finished. If they didn't want to eat then, they still sat there with the family so they could feel apart of the group and in the conversation, At first it is parents talking to the child, but it isn't long until they like to "talk", also. Once they got down from the table, they got no more food until the next meal. They soon catch on, if, you do not give in to them. I think the most important thing to remember is: You are the parent, you are not going to teach them bad habits. Every parent wants a good, well mannered child, but the child has to be taught. Hope this might help. R.