my 2.9 yr old boy is a healthy,happy and an active child. he doesnt go to any playway as yet. but he does get to play in the evenings with 2 kids everyday.they both live nearby and hence are more close with each other.in their own little games and fights my son finds his way out.but when he comes back home he usually irritable, shouts and fights with us. we try and pacify him but nothing seems to work. now those 2 kids have gone on a holiday and my baby has no company to play with.strange enough his behavior has changed. he is more calm quite and a real sweetheart!!....where am i going wrong?i dont understand this behavior of his.
It's obvious. You need to find him some new play dates. Clearly he's mimicing the other children's behaviors. I would stop letting him go play with those children. He's only 2 1/2 yrs old. I wouldn't worry so much. He would probably much rather wrestle with his father in the evenings and play other games with you and him.
I agree, time to find new playmates. Find a good Mother's Day Out program, MOPs group, or a good preschool so that he will have a positive play environment and hopefully a more positive "after play" time for all of you.
You said they play games and have fights - these may be activities the other two choose and he has little control, which he then lashes out afterwards because of that. Although at almost 3 he is able to talk, he most likely cannot verbalize his feelings and so is more irritable. Also, he may be over stimulated or over tired with the activities and a more controlled play environment may help.
Good luck!
My opinion is that he is probably tired int he evenings and can't handle the stimulation of the other kids and is doing better not because the other kids are crazy wild but because he needs downtime to play alone att that time of day. This is an almost 3 year old????? He needs some morning playdates. and i sincerely hope you are with him while he is playing with these other kids, i doubt that he is old enough to use his words and interact posititvely with these other kids all on his own.
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I agree - there is obviously something about the play date that unsettles your son. He is experiencing something that makes him uncomfortable that he doesn't know how to address (bullying or actions/language that he doesn't see at home or know how to cope with). Even though those kids are close, it's better to look farther with children more of his temperament.
You might ask him though to tell you what games/things he did with the other kids and which ones are his favorite and least favorite to get insight into what is bothering him.
That does not seem strange to me at all! It sounds to me like he may not be enjoying thise playdates and is better off without them. Even at age three, kids do more paralelle play, and really don't need to be with other kids too much. You still have time to introduce him to social opportunities later, even if you wait until age 4 or so. I would just assume that this is a good sign, and stay home, or look for more appropriate playmates that do not cause him to be irritable.
M.
Time to find new playmates.
and/or
Time to look into preschools, maybe 2-3 mornings/week.
When that other family comes home from vacation,
you'll need to tell them that DS won't be playing there any more.
Gma S.
First of all
Dont immediately think you are doing something wrong
Look at the situation
His irriatation comes frome something that happens in the little group steeing.
Have you sat on the sidelines and watched what they do or dont do?
Do you talk about wha the likes or does not like when he is wiht them?
Do you realize he is finding his own way to deal with some of the condlicts we wil go through in life, and a simple reinforcement from you and your husband may be all the support he needs.
If the frustration becomes anger and violent, then there must be a fix.
If he is a bit crabby, find ways to bring him back to calm awithout slamming the other children as people.
Tals about actions, not individulls.
My daughter had a friend that always had the latest gizmo even though I felt she was too young to deal with most of them.
I chatted with my daughter about what I didnt like and what I would or would not do in the situations that came up. I also explained what my husband and I expected of her as a duaghter in our family strucure.
In the end,,,the other girl has moved away, lsee choas in the lives of the girls here. Mya daughter even mentions how she is glad we didnt give in to all the whining she did when she didnt get everything she asked for. She also reminded us that she would continue to whine for things. :)
Alll in all...You have to do what is right for you as a parent.
Sometimes we eant to keep them away from all the stuff we dont like, but we have to teach during those moments and not jsut set up road blocks and detours.
Watch, use the information to teach your son, and remember that he is young, but he wil listen.
my guy is very irritible the evenings of daycare. i think they get so stimulated and don't yet know how to wind down. i've been planning on putting him down for a very short nap or just have quiet play. we haven't followed up on our plan because he goes to daycare 1-2x ea wk or we're busy after. My husband has put him to bed early but that usually bites him in the bum, waking ____@____.com, he probably doesn't need to have play dates with other kids but as a mom I know that it make me feel i'm doing something right.
Are you supervising these playdates? At that age children need somebody nearby to help guide them in making the right choices when there are disagreements. Also, at this age children are still too young to really play with each other. They are more likely to play next to each other, not really interacting unless another child has something they want. By 4 years of age children should be more interested in playing cooperatively with each other...however, they will still need someone close by to help with conflicts.
