Help Me Make a Plan to Break Bad Night Habits

What about giving her milk before bed (and a snack--make sure she's FULL) then only water at night time?

Tell her milk in the middle of the night will hurt her beautiful teeth.

She's doing it because it's working. I'm not saying she's "manipulating" you at age 2, but she's cognizant enough to know "behavior A gets result B" so time to buckle down.

Bedtime routine. Bath, story, snack, milk, brush her teeth the BED.
Try a lullabye CD on "repeat" all night long on very quiet volume.
Put a sippy of water in bed --near her.
What do you think about a gate at her doorway?
Wake ups are greeted with NO conversation.
Simply "Time to sleep" once, then calmly putting her back into her bed, and you return to yours. Repeat until YOU feel like screaming (but don't).
I'll betcha 3 nights is all it takes.
IF you think she's teething, give her Tylenol before bed.

I am probably going to get slammed by some other responders for this, but first let me say:
** I totally understand what you are going through. Being so exhausted you want to cry and being barely functional the next day. **

We did the Ferber method of crying it out. That day we started it, well before bed time, I told my son that there would be no more milk at night and that night was sleeping. I reminded him again of this as we started our nighttime sleep.

Then, when it came to bed time, I said goodnight and I would see him in the morning. He was used to falling asleep on me in the rocking chair... "I" was his security blanket and I could not live like that. It was one thing when he did just at bedtime, but it got so that it was 2 or 3 or 4 times at night, when he'd wake up and then want me to hold him again so he could go back to sleep.

Anyway, I put him in bed (made sure I kept him up a little later than usual so he was a bit extra tired). Then, if he cried, I let him, following this pattern:
* Let him cry for 5 min, then checked in on him. Told him, I love you, you're safe, it's time for sleep. And left the room. Do not engage in conversation, etc.
* Then, let him cry for 7 min, then check in on him. Told him, I love you, you're safe, it's time for sleep. And left the room. Do not engage in conversation, etc.
* Then let him cry for 10 min, then repeated the check, "I love you, you're safe, it's time to sleep" bit. Do not engage.
* If needed, go back in at 10 min intervals to repeat the "I love you, it's time to sleep." Do not engage.

The KEY part of this, though, is that if the child is calming down (volume of cries is decreasing, or cries are becoming more infrequent, or there are now pauses between cries where there were not before)--- Do Not Go In to check. Just let the child be.

It broke my heart and I cried, but I really needed him to learn to fall asleep on his own. I am a much better parent, and person when I have good, uninterrupted sleep.

I will also say that you may need to repeat this process, particularly after an illness.

And last note: don't do the crying out method when the child is sick.

I think what One and Done suggested was great. We coslept with our son for quite a while, by choice, but when I was done, I was soooo done. We did the same routine 'no talking/put them back to bed' for two nights with Kiddo. I actually decided to dedicate a few nights to the task of 'teaching' (which is important to keep in mind-- we are teaching them a new way and if we look at it in this perspective instead of as a discipline issue, it keeps our emotions calmer and more neutral--which works better for everyone) our son to sleep alone. I camped out in the hallway for the first night and slept there. The second night he was only up twice. The third night, my husband did the exact same thing and only had to return him to bed once or twice. By night four, there was NO getting up after our stories and songs.

The point of it is this: make the decision to do it and then stick with it. Do it on a week when you are ready. It really helped me not to be 'missing out' on anything, so don't start it on the night you're supposed to be having some time connecting with your husband. When you return her to bed: It's very important not to talk, get upset, threaten, etc. Just "Bed" and take her there. After the first snuggly goodnight, no more kisses or hugs. YES-- I know it will feel hard and mean and sucky. But you are being a good mom by recognizing when change and developmental growth needs to happen to keep your home running smoothly. Good luck and I wish you plenty of patience.

Ditto ☆ ★OneAndDone★ ☆. Commit to doing what you need to do and do it. As far as manipulating you...I read that studies show that babies as young as 4 months will cry and scream to get their way and once we parents give in a pattern is set and of course they keep it up :-/ (And this isn't the normal "I need to eat, be changed, be held, I'm sick" crying that we need to answer.)

What I did when it was time to stop milk in bed at night was tell my guy we couldn't drink milk after we brushed our teeth, just water. We switched to an ice-filled sippy with water, the ice melts throughout the night so it stays cold, and he adjusted to no milk quickly.

Hang tough and you'll soon be getting the sleep you need : )