Help!! Is It Normal for a 5 Month Old to Throw Tantrums??

Hey, for my daughter, I have to let her cry it out. Sometimes it takes awhile, but she'll usually give in between 15-30 min. If I go in there to comfort her or whatever, the amount of time that she cries just starts over. Not everyone agrees with this method but it works for us. It's tough if you're not used to it, but worth it in the long run! Good luck!

My son is 6 1/2 months old and throws the biggest fits ever at bedtime. We have a pretty steady nightly routine but by the end of the day he is so worn out and just screams and stretches and fusses until he finally passes out. If I notice he's going to get really fussy I give him a little motrin,teething tablets or let him chew on his blanket until he falls asleep. I keep him on my lap until he's almost asleep and put him to bed. We have really liked the sleeptime sheep, *its the sheep that makes rain,ocean, whale, and womb noises. * We also have the rainforest mobile and i keep it on the rainforest sounds, its so soothing and he loves it. If you can think of anything better than what we are trying PLEASE let me know..we are having such a tough time also. Good Luck!

S.,
Maybe she is old enough to be changing to three naps per day. Babies usually go through a week or two of transition like this as they grow, everytime their sleeping needs/patterns change. Does she like a swing? My babies often took daytime naps in their swing. Switching to 3 naps per day may make her tired enough to fall asleep quicker at night. Babies are notorious for being fussy at dinner time, they probably sense the stress in the house at that time

I have had the same issues with my 9 month old since the beginning. She's getting better though, going down for naps and sleeping through the night. Your baby is probably just high energy and has a hard time winding down. Keep up with the routine and she will eventually fall into it. Things started getting better for us around 7 months. Also, I find that on days when I take her places (park, library, grocery shopping, anywhere) she sleeps better. Wear that child out! 4 naps sounds like a lot too. I finally gave up on a morning nap and wouldn't even try to put her down until after lunch or when she was visibly tired. Now she takes morning naps sometimes, but always a long afternoon nap. One two hour nap is better than fighting all day for 4 short ones. Hope this helps.

Boy, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I am going to be totally frank with you. Your child is controlling you! Are you the parent or is she? My daughter who is now 18 months old, was very similar to your child at that age. She wanted what she wanted and was going to fight me tooth and nail to get it. She would cry for an hour and would wait me out. She is very patient and yet so am I. When they are 5 months old, they are testing their boundaries and trying to establish dominance. They are always happy when they get what they want, who wouldn't be! But I can honestly tell you that making sure you are in control and establishing who's boss now will help you out TREMENDOUSLY in the long run. It starts now and it will get better I promise, but even up until my 18 month old's birthday we have had about 3 phases of testing control so far. If you cave now, you will cave the rest of her life and can you imagine what she will be like as a teenager? OK, now here's what you can try...

You said you have established a night routine. Great, but the routine has to be established 24/7. Here is an example of what works for my child. You can use it or modify it for yours..

7:30 am wake up and change diaper/clothes
8:00 breakfast then play time
9:30 nap (if she crys, let her cry. Do the 5 minute intervals. Do not pick her up, just go into her room, lay her down, and reassure her that you love her. Leave the room. Start the next 5 minutes. Repeat.)
10:30 up from nap, change diaper, play time
11:30ish lunch
12:30ish finish lunch, cleanup toys, etc.
1:00 nap (repeat the previous recommendations)
3:00 up from nap. Change diaper, snack, play time
5:30 ish dinner
6:30 ish cleanup dinner, cleanup toys, etc.
7:00 bathtime
7:30 storytime
8:00 bed time

Keep it regimented. All my fellow mom friends swear by schedules but you have to keep it up. If she will go to daycare once you start back to school, keep her daycare routine the same for your home, even on the weekends.

Good luck!!

4 naps seems like too many for a 5 month old. 2 good naps will probably be better. It will take time but you can transition her. Look for early early cues that she is getting tired about 3-4 hours after she wakes up in the morning. As soon as you notice she is slowing down,start to initiate nap routine. (for example- Bottle if needed, teething meds, diaper change, short story, then crib with paci) Come up with a routine that works for you - if you have a good bedtime routine, try to do a mini version so she knows whats coming. Repeat in the afternoon about 3 -5 hours after she wakes from morning nap, again watching closely for those early clues that she is getting tired.
Give her a few minutes to be fussy. If she falls asleep then wakes only 10-15 minutes later try just giving the paci again if you use one, rubbing her back and telling her to go back to sleep. Give her a few minutes to try and sleep again. It won't work in one day, but if you are consistant, she will transition to longer naps. Trying lots of different things day after day to soothe her isn't helping, babies love routine. Pick the thing that works the most, and stick with it.
She is getting frustrated and throwing these tantrums because she is trying to send you a message that she needs something. There is a golden time zone when you can get a baby to lie down to sleep. If you miss it, they get overtired quickly, and worked up because they are exhausted and fussy, and makes it harder to get them to sleep, so watch for those early signs!!!

My son just turned 6 months and started throwing fits at 3 months. Or earlier. He's generally very good but has a temper to rival that of any five year old I've ever seen!

She could be teething, because my son started doing the same thing about a month ago. I found that around bedtime he started to get really grumpy and read up on teething...that could be the cause. We gave him Tylenol for a few days (as directed by his doctor, of course) and this seemed to work like a charm. I made sure it was teething though by giving him a teething ring or a frozen washcloth (I wet the tip of one of his and put it in the freezer for a minute) to chew on. When he bit down on them like there was no tomorrow, I knew that's what it was, tried the Tylenol, and it worked.

He still throws fits though for other reasons and I think it's really him just trying to explore his emotions and our reactions. He will do the same thing (did just now) before a nap, and I will check on him, pat his back, tell him it's ok and just let him cry it out. I found the more I babied him and picked him up, the worse he got about throwing fits.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

PS...I just read the response below mine and they are right! We have had our son on a schedule, and it took a few weeks for him to get used to it, but we do pretty much the same thing every day at the same time. Now, if we don't give him his bath by a certain time, HE gets anxious for it. It does sound mean, but just because they are infants, don't think for one second they don't know what they are doing! I know a lot of other people w/babies that have no schedule, what so ever, and those babies seem more in control of the parents than the other way around. We vary his routine some a little to make sure he knows it's ok to be different every once in a while, but it really does work like the other lady posted.

Sorry to be so long winded. :o) Of course we don't know if you've got a schedule or not, just saying it works like a charm for us!

HI,
I agree with the other posters that 4 naps may be too many, but only you know your child, and it is possible she needs all 4. Here is what I would do. Try putting her to nap a little earlier than you are doing. When babies get overtired they have a hard time falling asleep and they may not sleep as long. Once you find the right timing, she may sleep better (and longer) and therefore reduce the number of naps she is getting. Try reading Better Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. It is excellent and addresses all kinds of sleep issues and normal sleep patterns.

The other thing I would mention is that you do look like you have tried letting her cry it out, but sometimes to actually get it to work you will have to let her cry the whole time without going in to comfort her. There are different schools of thought on this and the book will go into all of them. I tend to do what you are doing and work my way into it, but I do think it probably would go faster if I would just do it from the beginning where I don't go in. But it is hard, and I have never been able to do it right away. Naptimes and schedules can be a rough transition time, but if you work at it, it will eventually fall into place.

One other thing I would mention is that if she is teething, try tylenol for the pain rather than the teething tablets just to see if they are more effective.

Hope you find something that works. :)

M.

Welcome, S.,to the world of Motherhood and to Single Motherhood. You're now listening to a single mom of 3 now grown blessings in my life!

ok down to the reason for this response....your baby girl seems to be throwing tantrums when it comes to naptime and bedtime. The keyword here is "sleeptimes only." That sends up a red flag for me.

Now this may sound outrageous, insane, scary however as I live and breathe I speak the truth. What are the feelings that come over you when you go into her bedroom to put her down? How's the temperature in that particular place where she sleeps? It is quite possible she is seeing something in her bedroom which is frightening her. Babies see what most adults do not!

Have you attempted to move her crib to another room? perhaps you will consider doing this just to see if the behavior is different. You lose nothing moving her to another room and you may just gain a peaceful night!

As I said, I know it seems outlandish for most people. I promise you it is not. Keep me posted on what happens if and after you move her crib. write to me at ____@____.com if you'd like to discuss this further.

sincerely wishing you the best,
D.

Making her cry it out is probably stressing her out more and sleeping has become an insecure experience for her, which has exacerbated the problem.

You can probably make life a lot easier for yourself and your daughter by pre-empting the whole fight. Start earlier with your daughter. Every time nap time is coming up, make her environment quieter and calmer. Put some lavender oil in a warm pot on the stove. Try keeping the TV off more. The noise and general stimulation, even if quiet, is a lot for babies and young children. Start slowing down with your daughter, talking more quietly, turning down the lights and/or drawing the curtains. Read to her in a lulling voice. Make it all as pleasant as possible. Don't necessarily say it's nap time, or will be nap time soon (at 5 months, she doesn't have the concept of "15 minutes from now," and, anyway, it's become an ISSUE and bringing it up when she's not ready for it will probably just upset her). Just, 15-30 minutes before her nap, start winding things down. You can't force sleep on a child, but you can make it very enticing! If she ends up not sleeping, just spend that time cuddling with her. The rest will at least help her, and in the long run, it will help her find naps and bedtime much safer-feeling.

Good luck!

L.

After having 9 children of my own, I can tell you this can be normal. Every child is different. I had a child that was awake every night from 12 a.m. until 3 a.m. Of course, I guess doctors would say it was colic, but it was hard for me sometimes. Realize sometimes babies just don't live on a schedule. Enjoy what time you can with her and do your best to try to get her wound down for bedtime at night so you can get some sleep. These months will pass all too quickly and she will be grown faster than you can imagine. Maybe she needs one less nap each day. If you could cut an earlier nap she might go to bed easier at night. I found with my own children a nap that lasted past 2 or 3 p.m. in the day would mean it was difficult to get them to bed at night. There is no set rules; but, I hope this maybe will help you.

S.,
So sorry to hear you are going through this alone. Sometimes children will do things to get their way or attention. A long time ago my great aunt advised me "Choose your battles" This bit of advice has come in handy many times through life. even with my 15 year old daughter now. Perhaps try a routine of sitting with a book to calm her down. I found when my daughter was small, this gave both of us some quality time. Once she was settled down, it was easier to get her down for a nap. Enjoy your time with her while she is young, they grow up so quickly. Theses are trying times. Remember she is young and just not in control of herself yet. I've found positive attention an easy way of getting what it is YOU want. Hope all this helps.
Hang in there, the reading and cuddle time should help. Good luck! S.--- I wish I was back to those days, little babies little problems, big babies- big problems.

I don't think it's normal for her to be throwing a tantrum. I think when babies cry like you've explained, there is something else that's going on. You just have to work with her and see what she likes during nap time. My son at that age really like to cuddle and lay down with me. One night he was crying and pulled my shirt to him and started rubbing my shirt. I went and got him a taggie. www.taggie.com They are usually located at Hallmark stores or sometimes in Department stores. My son has the smallest blanket there is. It has little tags hanging from the edges and once I got something for him to cuddle and hold, he would go to sleep easier. I never rocked him, never. Holding something in his hands is all he needed.

I also started giving him a bath right before nap and used some soothing bath wash. This was down time for him and he seemed relaxed after bath. I didn't give him 4-5 baths a day but somewhere in there, he'd get a bath.

I also did not ever play with him closer to nap and get him all roused up and happy. Sometimes people would be over getting him all excited and this wasn't good and then it was a battle before nap.

You also may want to try a swing. My son LOVED a swing. Sometimes my husband would sleep on the couch at night near bedtime and my son would be in the swing sleeping until he was good and asleep. Then he would be moved to his crib.

AND if all else fails? Take her on a ride in the car...babies seem to sleep well in the car!

The only other thing I can think of that hasn't been covered is that maybe she is in pain...
My newphew for the first year of his life had hard stools that caused him a considerable amount of pain when passing them and allot of gas which can be very painful too.
Other than that I think your baby is being expected to nap too much as many of the mothers have already said...
Just let her tire herself out and tank on her own, then you can decide if it is worth moving her or let her sleep where she's at. Baby swings are pretty good for naps. Good Luck we all know how frustrating it is to hear the crying. Use your resources friends and family to give yourself a break when you need it.

WOW! This sounds exactly like my grandson. It turned out he has allergies out the wazoo, then he developed asthma. It was definitely a learning experience for us as he was unique to our family that way. The easiest thing for us to change immediately was our cleaning products and it also made the most sense as we are 'married' to our cleaning products: breathing and wearing those chemicals 24/7. The grandson still has an asthma machine; however, we haven't had to use it. I'm not saying this is your issue - what I am saying is that it's a very good possibility. Kids, especially babies, immune systems are not built up like an adults; and for those who take antibiotics - it's even worse. We've taken additional steps with diet and purifying our water and air.

Babies can't talk and it's a guessing game trying to figure out what may be troubling them. You are doing fine as a Mom, pat yourself on the shoulder.

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Hope this info helps and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to email me back or give me a call.

God Bless,
~V~

Yes it is normal, but at this point they are not tantrums in my own opinion. She has no way to tell you what she needs or wants. I have three high needs kids I call them,lol. Just keep in mind this age or phase will not last forever. I know your need well to have a moments peace to yourself. But this time goes so quickly take it to snuggle her and let her know you care more than anything you are all she has. And youc an rotate the teething tablets and tylenol every 2 hours by the way it is the only thing that got me through my first child's (girl) first year, she cried all the time, and also would only take about 20 minute naps during the day and would nOT sleep at night. Soon she will be the 5 year old not wanting to hang out with you at all, and sleeping in. SO try to have patience and be happy with your crying little one and if you are overly concerned go tot the pediatrician and get a professional opinon. Som kids just are not sleepers! Good luck..

5 months old is way too young to intentionally throw tantrums to try to get their way. She's most likely crying because she needs you. She's too young to be intentionally manipulating you. It's okay to cuddle babies a lot, in fact, that is what you should do. Letting a baby that young "cry it out" is awful, in my opinion. Babies cry to convey a need to their caregivers! My baby was really difficult at nap times from the start, but I always rocked her to sleep (took awhile), walked around while carrying her and singing (or playing lullaby CDs) or fed her til she fell asleep and then gently placed her in the crib asleep. As she got older (around 4 or 5 months) I started placing her in the crib when tired but awake, and she would cry of course. I only let her cry 5 minutes and if she still didn't sound like she was falling asleep I picked her up and rocked her or fed her. The goal was to comfort my baby, not get her to stick to a rigid, arbitrary schedule. So unlike most of the responders, I do not make her follow a schedule. She sets it for me, but it is just as predicable as if I would have set it myself. When she is hungry, I feed her. When she acts tired, I put her to bed. If she skips a nap, that's okay, her next nap will usually just last a bit longer. My baby is now 7 months and as of 6 months she takes one nap around 11 AM and one nap around 4 PM, never skipping naps anymore. I put her down for naps and it takes less than 5 minutes for her to fall asleep, I think because I put her down at the first sign of tiredness, instead of waiting til she is over-tired and inconsolable. I think she falls asleep so quickly on her own in the crib because she feels assured that she is safe since I didn't leave her to cry when she was very little. And if she ever goes on longer (very rare), I pick her up and comfort her, feed her if she wants, and put her back to bed and she falls asleep then. She's a very happy baby now and I think it is because of all the attention we gave and give her. I think she is very easy, she sleeps through the night and takes very predictable naps even though I didn't set the schedule, I followed her cues. She wakes up at 8:30 and goes to bed at 9 or 10. You can't "spoil" a baby that young. That said, since you said it still takes a long time to get her to sleep even with you DO pick her up and rock her, perhaps she has GERD, acid reflux, etc. so it hurts to lie flat, or another medical issue. If she is teething I would give her a wet frozen washcloth to chew on. My baby is relatively easy to get to sleep now, but very rarely she still needs help and I find carrying her around while walking and humming does the trick to calm her down and then I put her down again. I think it is more important to comfort your baby, whatever it takes to make her not cry or be upset, than to let her cry it out. It hasn't spoiled my baby. She is very easy, I think. I don't think a kid really throws tantrums until they are old enough to understand language and punishment, old enough to test limits, old enough to understand what you mean by No, etc. Anyway, to answer the title question, it IS normal for a 5 month old to scream and cry when going to sleep, and it is also normal for the mom to pick up the baby and do whatever it takes to comfort her. It's way too early to start trying to "train" her on behavior. I'm not expert, but that is my opinion on what I think has worked with my baby. Good luck!!

From reading the responses, it seems like people are thinking about a 5 YEAR old, not a 5 MONTH old. 5 MONTH olds do not throw tantrums. She is frustrated because she's trying to tell you something and you can't understand and meet whatever need she is having. My DD had colic for 5 months. She screamed for 14 hours straight one time, but I didn't leave her to cry alone. I enlisted the help of my mom & grandmother, but if you don't have family around, please ask a friend to relieve you some, so that you don't go crazy.

~A.~

Four naps are a lot. I would try cutting her back to two naps. One in the morning and one in the afternoon should be sufficient.

You are showing her that she can throw a fit and that you will go and pick her up. She is fine if she throws fits. You better get her out of this before school starts and she has to go to the daycare. Then she will be hard on them. Lay her down and leave her. Give her a considerable amount of time to cry. If after 30 min then she is not asleep then go get her. But the next time it will need to be a longer time. She has learned that if she cries you will pick her up. The days that she is not taking a nap but you think that she is sleepy then you need to try an activity with her also. She may not have gotten enough stimulation before you are putting her down. If you want to rock her then get a sertain amount of tiem that you plan on rocking. Either while you read a chapter in your book or while a few songs play then lay her down. Don't let her mandate the amount of time that you will hold or she will keep on mandateing to you. You are the parent what you says goes.

Yes, this is normal. She is "fighting sleep". But, by the time she is 5 months old, she may only need 2 naps a day. One in the morning and one in the afternoon, and she might sleep for longer periods of time.

HI,
The only thing I could think of is the day schedule!! You have a good night schedule but 4 naps a day come on. since she is young she should still take a morining nap and an after noon nap. Four will make her restless for the rest of the day. You know when you get woken up 4 times a night with her and the next morning you feel ssssoooooo tired. well imagine how she feels falling asleep waking up and on and on. I am a 24 year old mother of 2 boys ages 2 and 4 and they are on a tight schedule. Breakfast, lunch, Nap, snack, dinner, bath, teeth, prayers, nite nite time. Doing this my children sleep all night and 2 hours at nap. This gives me my time cause I go to school online. Give her time she is only 5 months old. If none of this helps go see her doctor my youngest had colic and now has migraine headaches and it beomes hard for him to sleep. But I think she is just being rotten!!! lol!
D.

My husband is in the Army and was gone for 7 months, and I treasured my alone time once the baby went to bed. I totally understand your frustration! Both my girls would get like that, crazy fussy, occasionally during teething time and I hated it! You mentioned she takes 4 naps, do you think she might only need 3? I would try looking at her nap schedule to see if she maybe needs naps earlier or later. And what time do you put her to her last nap and for bed? I know every child is different but I have found if they go down around 3 or later it makes bed time so much harder. We have bed time at 7 and that works for us. I recommend reading Healthy sleep habit, Happy baby; it has some great advice for kids who are having difficulties with sleeping. I hope things get better for you!

First, let me say I am shocked and appalled at some of the advise given here. Anyone that would leave a 5 MONTH old baby, or any baby for that matter to cry because they as a parent feel manipulated need to wake up and accept the responsibilities of being the primary caregiver to someone who CANNOT take care of themselves. Second, since you are not breastfeeding, that complicates things a bit since formula introduces a whole other set of "could be"s as far as reflux, intolerance, food poisoning, and increased susceptibility to communicable disease. However, ruling out any feeding related issues at this stage, it could be teething, indicated by increased drooling and a desire to bite. It could also be a growth or developmental spurt. Babies tend to get fussy and restless at night when going through developmental leaps. Look for her to be doing something new soon like rolling over, crawling or sitting .

The best thing you can do for her is to try to comfort her and don't let her just cry alone. Her cries are the way she communicates her frustrations and needs. As an adult, you can better communicate your own needs, but as an infant, your daughter doesn't have these tools. I know it's hard to hear your baby cry, but she needs you. If you need your hands free, try a baby carrier like a sling or mai tai to keep her close.

I have a 16 month old and remember the days of the nap fighting (still happens but not as often). I ended up giving in and buying the Sleep Sense Program online. It really helped. Its not cheap though.

First, don't label this a tantrum. As a K teacher, you've seen tantrums - a response to frustration where a child screams and yells - either unable or unwilling to express themselves in another way. Your infant is not choosing this response (but give her a few more months and she will :-)

All infants are different, so it is hard to say whether this is "normal". But infants can be extremely fussy at certain times of the day, some infants can have difficulty settling down and falling asleep. The infant stage lasts a short time (it just seems forever right now), so rock her, cuddle her and this to shall pass.

I think 4 naps a day is too many. She should get about 3 1/2 sleep a day total. I would consult Gina Ford's, the British Nanny, book The Contented Little Baby. I have used it for 4 kids and am doing it currently with my 4 month old. Get the book but 4 to 6 month old schedule is 9to 10am nap, 12 to 2pm nap, 4 to 5pm nap, go down at 7pm, wake to feed at 10pm. You need the book to tell you about changes and growth spurts. And also feeding times.

So, to answer your question, your 5 month old is not capable of tantrums you just need to adjust her schedule