HELP!!! Inexperienced with Newborns!

Good Morning K.!
What you are doing is amazing!! Congratualtions on the new addition! My daughter was a preemie born 10 weeks early. She would eat just a little bit then fall back asleep so most of the time we had to have her feet sticking out and when she would start to fall asleep again I would tickle them to wake her. I don't have any advice on how to switch the days & nights back to normal but from what I have heard from other friends it usually straightens out in a couple weeks. Good luck & Congratulations again!

I just want to say kudos to you. :) And to the folks suggesting donor milk, while that's an excellent thing when it can be done, I understand the foster care system has very strict rules about that. So I doubt it would be doable until she had full custody. :(

Hey,

I see that some moms recommended putting rice cereal in his bottle... and I do not want to start a "war" as it were, but I highly recommend that you do NOT do that. Rice cereal is empty carbs, and yes, the baby may get full, but it is not healthy for him at all- he needs all the good stuff he can get. I would recommend trying block feeding- that is, try to cluster his evening feeds before bedtime, so that he gets a very full tummy at night. But he is little, and he will wake up through the night for a while. I'm sure his circumstances will make it that much more likely that he will have a wacky sleep schedule for a while.

I would consider seeing if you can get milk donations from a milk bank. He sounds like he might need every ounce of healthy goodness possible. It is really wonderful what you are doing, and I know it isn't easy.

The World Health Organization and the American Medical Association recommends babies be fed breastmilk or formula exclusively for *at least the first 6 months*.

There are some good resources out there for sleeping, but with a newborn there are no easy sleep routines for at least a few months. I know that sounds horrible, but I promise, it *does* get better.

Wow, you are amazing. I salute you.

My doctor told me when we brought our son home from the hospital( he was full term but problems during a NIGHTMARE delivery required him to stay in the NICU) that make sure there is NO LIGHT AT ALL in nursery when lay baby down to sleep at night. Not even nightlight or glow from a clock. It should be pitch black. He said it would help "set" his inner clock and the blackness would signal his body to produce the sleep hormones. We kept a night light in his room that we only turned on when we went in for feedings.

Now, what I hate to tell you is this. In the first 6-8 weeks a newborn will only sleep about 2 hours at stretch overnight. Their little tummies are too little and they need the constant feedings. This is normal.

You do have other issues, drug exposure and prematurity. Ask around for a licensed massage therapist to teach you infant massage. Clinical studies show it does wonders for preemies, they gain weight much, much faster and as well it helps drug exposed babies achieve healthy developmental goals. See studies at Touch Research Institute In Florida.
Good luck to you all!

It takes a while to get them on a new schedule. Just try as best you can to keep him up more during the day. keep him in very well lit areas, sing up-beat songs and talk to him a lot during the day to try to keep him engaged and interested in being a little more wakeful. At night, set a bedtime routine and try to keep the lights as dim as is safe in whatever room he's in. He'll want to stay awake at this time, but try to make any interaction more quiet and calm. It takes a few weeks of patience, but this did help my son to get on the right track. A lot of babies have this issue because in utero, most infants sleep during the day b/c mom's activity lulls them to sleep. Hope this helped.

My son did the same thing. I tried to make sure he knew the difference between night and day by not turning on the lights or the TV in the middle of the night. I kept everything dim and quiet. The other thing to do is to not let him sleep so much during the day. I breastfed and I woke my son up every two hours to feed him. In between feedings I would try to keep him awake as long as possible. I think it's probably better to start shortening each nap a little at a time. My doctor told me to feed him more often during the day so that he wouldn't wake up so much to eat at night also. No matter what you try at least you know that it won't last forever. Eventually they all get it right. Good luck!

wow, so many ppl had some great advice for you... i was just wondering, are you going to be able to keep him, and does the mother get to visit her kids? not trying to be nosey, i was just curious how it worked?

oh, and by the way,, welcome to the 3 hour world... (thats when your days become defined by every 3hours.. or next feeding, how ever you want to look at it.) i started drinking coffee october 7 (the morning of my first day with my daughter in our house)... and i am still drinking it:)

Hello K.. You are doing a wonderful thing and keep up the good work. When my oldest daughter was born she had her day and nights mixed up also. I had her on a schedule the minute she came home and once she took her nap in the morning and in the afternoon I pestered her to keep her awake until it was bed time. Her schedule was that she napped around 10 am and again at 12pm. Her afternoon nap was a 3 to 4 hour nap. When she woke up I fed her and all we did was play until the next feeding then I did the bath routine. If you do anything in your power to keep him awake for a solid couple of hours in the late afternoon for a couple to a few days he should fix the day and night issue. My daughter only took a couple of days. She woke up every 4 hours at night. By 8 weeks she was sleeping 12 hours straight. There is hope and just hang in there. You are doing such a GREAT thing. Keep up the good work.

K.,

First of all I think that you are doing is a GREAT thing. My husband and I have often said that when our boys are a little older that is something that we would love to do.

Newborns are difficult, especially when they are challenged right away, as yours has been. Both of my boys were 4 weeks early, but able to come home right away. I had them on a "schedule" from the first day home. Do not put cereal in his bottle unless the doctor tells you to. His little tummy isn't ready for it yet. Don't wake him up, he is sleeping because he needs to. In the evening, do the exact same thing everyday......bathe him, get the jammies on, then the bottle. Do a little snuggling, maybe read a short bed-time story and them lay him down. Try to keep that time as quiet as possible, and as little light as possible. Unless it is absolutely neccessary, don't go anywhere that will have you home later than the "bedtime". Even as young as he is, he will start to recognize the time of day by the things that he does and the places he is. My boys are 6 and 3 and the ocassions are extremely rare that we are not at home, getting reay for bed at 7:30. They were both sleeping through the night at 8 weeks.

you may have some family and friends that get a little upset when you tell them that you need to leave, or can not do things, because of the schedule, but trust me, it will be better for you and the children in the long run.

Best of luck.

Hi K.,
Congratulations on the baby! Since he was a preemie, he was probably in the hospital for wahile. When my son(a preemite) was born, they told me that alot of the babies get their days and nights mixed up because the NICU is very active at night. Its not easy to turn them around, but providing a quiet environment during the evening and night and making noise during the day (run the sweeper, play the stereo, etc.)helps some. Good luck!

What may help is having a "difference" between day and night. During the day, have the lights on, the tv, the radio, whatever and don't be afraid to make noise. Play with him as much as possible to keep him awake. At night, make it dark and quiet. It will take a little while, but he'll get it.

hi K.
i know what you mean about the nights and day thing my son was also a preemie he only weight 3 pounds now he is a health 5 year old well what i did was i asked his doctor if i could put some ceral in his bottle at night that made him sleep longer at night

K.
for 1-2 week old babies the aim is to give 2 oz every 3 hrs but realistically that doesn't often happen. my girls were not preemies but being twins they were small, 5.65 each and i remember thinking they HAVE to drink 2 oz but they weren't at the time. during the day then feed him a little more often and keep him more awake as bedtime approaches. chances are he will have the nights and days mixed for a while, and he won't sleep through the night just yet. hang in there. be blessed for what you're doing.
vlora

K., when he is 2-4 weeks old, mix a VERY small amount of rice cereal in with his formula. Use a knife or scissors to open the nipple hole just a little. The thicker formula will sit on his stomach differently and should help him sleep. Use this in conjunction with the other tips.

My daughter had this problem for the first week and a half that she was home. I mixed my tip with the ones the others have given you and from that point on she slept fine.

Let me know how everything turns out!

Bless you. I remember when my daughter was at that age and she was the same way with sleeping.I was breast feeding, so that was a little different.I would do as other posts suggested and keep the baby awake more in the evening.Babies have there night and days mixed up for a couple of weeks. Not drinking a full 2oz is normal.In a week or so he will drink that.I think my daughter was about a month old, and she started drinking 4oz. up untill her 1st birthday, she has only ever drank 4ox of formula.I hear some ladies tell me how there babies drink 8oz, and My eyes get big.My daughter never did that.LOL.To answer your question about feedings, I would continue to do as you are, and see where he is in a week.How preemie is he?

Adding cereal to his bottles will only keep him up more - his little body will be so busy digesting that formula. I agree that you should look into a milk donation. But keep in mind, breastfed babies digest that milk faster than formula, so it might not help him sleep. It will be beneficial to him health-wise, though.

I think it is a wonderful thing you are doing. You mean the world to those children, and you're setting a great example for the rest of us. I wish you the best of luck!

HI K. ,
MY DAUGHTER WAS PREEMIE ... SHE WAS 2LBS WHEN SHE WAS BORN. I WOULD MAKE SURE HE ISNT LACTOSE INTOLERANT. MY DAUGHTER WAS AND IT KEPT HER UP.. IT TOOK ME A MONTH TO FIND JUST THE RIGHT FORMULA TO GIVE HER. SHE WAS ON PROSOBEE LACTOSE FREE . THIS GOT HER TO FEED AND SLEEP A LITTLE BETTER.. BUT WHAT GOT HER SLEEPING THRU THE NIGHT WAS PUTTING JUST A TEASPOON OF RICE CEREAL IN HER BOTTLE . WHEN MY SON WAS BORN HE WASNT PREEMIE AND WASNT LACTOSE INTOLERANT BUT HE SPIT UP ALOT AND I WAS TOLD BY A DOC TO PUT SOME RICE CEREAL IN HIS BOTTLE AND HE WAS ONLY A WEEK OLD AND I PUT THE CEREAL IN HIS BOTTLE AND HE SLEPT THRU THE NIGHT AND THE SPITTING UP STOPPED!
MAYBE SINCE HE IS SLEEPING DURNING THE DAY MORE THAN AT NIGHT YOU SHOULD WAKE HIM UP AFTER A TWO HOUR NAP AND KEEP HIM ACTIVE AND THEN AT NIGHT PUT THE CEREAL IN HIS BOTTLE SO HE WILL SLEEP LONGER AT NIGHTS.
GOOD LUCK.. LET US KNOW WHAT WORKED AND HOW THINGS HAVE BEEN GOING .
M.

Hi K. my name is T. I live in the Edgewood area I have to boys 4/9 year old. What you need to do is to see if he is on the right type of milk because he might be latose just to see if will drink prosobes.In try to blub him alot lot.
Let me know if that work wish you good luck.
P.S ____@____.com

Hi K.!
First of all, my hat's off to you! I know you will be a great mom to this newborn. After having four children (although none of them premie), here is my suggestion. I'm a person who has to have at least 8 hours of sleep or I am miserable. So getting them to sleep at night was my main priority after bringing them home from the hospital! Like some other suggestions, you definitely have to make the day noisy and bright and night dark and quiet. Don't be afraid to leave a TV or radio on, run the sweeper, talk on the phone, play with the other kids during the day. But also remember, he does need some nap time. After about a two hour nap, wake him up. For night time, and during night feedings, keep it dark and quiet. Another thing I think helped for me was a different sleeping environment for each. During the day, mine liked sleeping in their infant carrier. Then at night, they slept in the bassinette beside my bed (till they were strong enough to hold their head up). I did this after I saw my kids were taking long naps in their bassinette as opposed to their infant carrier.
You have your work cut out for you, I know. My aunt was a foster parent and had taken on premies from drug-addict mothers. It was very scary because these tiny little babies are actually going through withdrawals. She said her nasal syringe was her best friend...constantly having to use it to get "phlemy-like gunk" out of the baby's sinus. She would get extremely attached to these babies and then six months later have to hand them back to the mother who got them sick in the first place. Takes a special person to be able to do that and I commend you! Let us know how it goes! Happy Holidays!
AMH :)

K. he started early mine did it at 3 months your best bet is to try to keep him up alittle more each day but i also learned that around 10 to 11 depending on what time you go to bed, if you start a bed time routine it helps alot morgan was off for about 3 weeks, i started at 10:30 he got a bath then we lotioned him up really good, followed by getting into nightclothes, and then a bottle to finish it up, it took about 2 weeks for him to get the hang of it and now we go through that and he lays down next to me passy in mouth and in 20 mins he is sound asleep. I hope this helps. let me know how it goes.