Help. I'm Getting No Sleep at Night.

She's 3 and getting milk BOTTLES and wearing diapers? I think it's time for you to parent up and stop it all.

Milk at night isn't good anyways, give her water if she MUST have something. But no liquids after a certain time so she can start to sleep without soiling her diaper so often. Maybe she can get out of diapers if she isn't drinking so much at night.

So yes, you let her cry it out.

Water or nothing and let her cry it out.
She's rotting her teeth and her mouth is going to be a mess if she keeps this up.
This is a case of you know what's best for her, and you just have to do it no matter how much she fusses.
You should have started her on water only at night as soon as she had teeth coming in.
Maybe the 5 yr old can sleep in another room for awhile.

oh, my dear.
letting a 2 year old run the roost to this extent is setting a very difficult precedent.
NO child should be getting milk at night once they're no longer nursing. above and beyond the behavior problems and demands, you're setting your child up for tooth decay.
2 year olds scream. they don't have impulse control, and have not yet learned how to communicate appropriately. you don't teach them these things by acceding to their screaming demands. of COURSE she's frustrated when you try to trick her out of the treat you've taught her to expect. having set yourselves up for this battle, it's now your responsibility to re-set the boundaries calmly, patiently, kindly, and without giving in.
as for the endless diaper changes, you're pouring liquid into her all night long. it's got to go somewhere. if she's not potty-trained and uncomfortable wet, what else could possibly be the outcome?
having created this situation, i hope you don't just leave the 'baby' (at almost 3 she's not, and that's probably part of the problem) to cope on her own. she is going to have a very difficult few nights or a week. now she not only has to adjust to sleeping alone, but doing without her comfort milk, and it's not fair if she has been truly babied up to this point and now gets 'tough, deal with it.' you're going to need to explain the transition to her in short, simple term, and be prepared to go to her with gentle hands and words while she rages through it.
khairete
S.

Bottle at 3?
Pick a date & TOSS the bottles.
Sippy of water. That's it.
Let her have small bowl of cereal & milk before bed.
Brush teeth.
Brace yourself. It will be a few nights of torture.
Bit she'll adjust eventually.
(So bad for her teeth!)

Your pediatrician will tell you that milk at night is a total no-no due to tooth decay. Your child should be sleeping through the night and should have since the age of 6 months or so. So SHE is sleep-deprived as well as you, and that is not healthy! I think a diaper at night is fine - many kids aren't dry all night until 4 or sometimes later than that. That's normal - BUT you should not be filling that diaper with so much liquid all night long.

You can start by taking the milk away entirely - blame it on the doctor if you want to. She can have water only, and she is more than able to use the bottle herself. You'll still have wet diapers though - unless she gets bored with the bottle and goes back to sleep.

You may have to ruin the older child's sleep for a few days but stop responding to every cry. There is NO food at night for anyone. If someone needs a drink of water or has to get up to pee, they do it quietly and without help or talking. If you have to put the training potty in the bedroom, do it. You'll have a lousy weekend and everyone will be crabby, and then you will be done with it.

Your daughter is in the habit of doing this milk thing - it is not a nutritional need at all. She will make up for needed food and liquid during the day.

The sleep deprivation is a far greater negative impact on her development, and you're in for a long history of dental problems as well.

I'm so sorry - this is going to be hard but you just have to start saying no every time. Explain to her that she is too old to have milk all night and that is just for babies. She is a big girl now and she needs to learn a big girl way to fall asleep...not using her milk as a crutch. This has gotten to be a bad habit. Explain about cavities.Tell her only a cup of water before bed. No milk bc the dentist said so. No milk in the night. Throw the bottles away! Then tell her you know it will be hard at first, but she can do it. Then hold firm! You are going to have a week of hell...but she will learn. You really have to do this now. You have to help her to find her own way of going back to sleep...by being the bad guy and taking away the bottle. She will find her own way. I'm not judging you! I finally took the pacifier away from my daughter a few months ago. She was 4 years old - waaaay too late! She only used it to fall asleep at night. It was rough for about 2 weeks. The first 3 nights were so incredibly awful. If I had not thrown that thing away I am sure I would have given in to her crying, begging, and pleading. It was really sad. But then she became really PROUD. She could do it! Now she proudly tells me pacifiers are for babies. You really have to do this. Good luck. (PS - My son was addicted to his bottles and at age 2 we told him he was too old for them at one point and gathered them all up and gave them to a baby who needed them. He came with me to deliver the bottles to my friend's house. So, we had ZERO bottles in the house for me to give in! It worked. He was mad at that baby for a while, haha) Throw out or get rid of your bottles so you cannot give in. Be strong.

Take the bottle away. Yes, she will cry and pitch a fit for a few days, but heck, you aren't getting any sleep now anyway?

Start it on a weekend, so it won't bother the older child as much.

I hate to think what milk in a bottle is doing to her teeth at night!

Better yet... get rid of milk entirely for a few days.... your family won't suffer for not having milk for a few days. If you don't have it in the house, you won't be tempted to give in just to get her to sleep!

I think the problem is that you are seeing your preschooler as a baby. She is three. She should be potty trained, drinking out of cups, etc.

Time to tell her she is a big girl, take away the diapers, bottles, and let her grow up.

I co-slept with my kids until they were 3yo. I nursed a couple of them until they were 3yo, and I nursed all of them on demand. But no way in hell would I have let a 3yo rule my nights like that. They were night weaned by 18months, and no food during the night, only water.

Yup, she's gonna scream. Yup, she's gonna be unhappy. You take it away cold turkey and hold her each night until she stops crying. Don't talk to her except to tell her she can only have water and that you love her. Rock her in your lap. After a few days of this, it will stop, she will get the message. My husband did this part, as I was the one who ALWAYS had to get up to nurse the babies, so he got to wean them for night time sleeping. The diaper changes will stop b/c she won't be drinking so much. I do not advocate leaving children alone to cry, there's no reason to make her feel isolated and alone, too. But I also do not tolerate being screamed AT, so you need to start putting your foot down about this.

Bottles at night at that age are very dangerous for her teeth, too, unless you are brushing after each time.

Good Luck.

If you haven't taken her already, she needs to see a dentist. A bottle of milk at night for that long has probably led to some tooth decay and could lead to even bigger problems.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002061.htm

You'll have a rough few nights but she's way past being developmentally ready to sleep through the night, so you know she can do this and you have to really stick to that message of "you can do this" because it will be hard for her. You already know that she's way past the age when bottles should have stopped and never should have been given cow's milk at night anyway due to a) no need for it and b) tooth decay. But I totally understand how habits hang around and before you know it, you're at this point where you all know it needs to stop but ending the cycle is painful.

Be prepared for a few really, really rough nights in a row. When my middle son was 3.5, he was still using a pacifier to sleep (and was using it during the day too). One day he asked if he could go to Build A Bear Workshop to make a bear. I told him that that store is only for big kids, and that babies who sleep with pacifiers can't go there. He immediately volunteered to give up his binky so I said that fine, after 3 nights of no binky, we'd get him a bear. Well that first night was just terrible! He was crying and crying and crying his little heart out, saying "I don't want a bear I can't sleep without my binky please mommy I'm so tired and I need my binky, I can't do this, please mommy, please!" So I sat with him (for hours and hours and hours...seriously until like 1 AM) and just rubbed his back and soothed him and encouraged him and told him that he could do this, he was a big boy, etc. He'd doze off and then wake up in a panic a short while later, desperately looking for his binky. He finally conked out for the night. The next night was more of the same, but he was asleep earlier, maybe by 11. The next night there was some whimpering, but he fell asleep quickly and that was that. Habit broken. We went to B-A-B, got him a bear and he still sleeps with that bear (he'll be 10 next week).

I would offer some kind of reward for breaking the habit so that she gets something positive out of it (in addition to a good night's sleep). Is there something her older sister has that she wants one of? Is there a special doll or blanket or nightlight or something that can be her new lovey for sleep and replace the milk habit? Give her some kind of motivation to get through this.

If I were you, I would leave a water bottle (with a sippy straw top, you can buy them anywhere) in her room and let her know that if she's thirsty at night, she can sip her water and that's it. She's not to get out of bed, wake anyone up, or have a diaper changed. Milk is way more rewarding than water so once she doesn't have something good like milk to wake up to, she won't bother waking up for water. Someone told me that when I was night weaning my middle son (the binky boy) and I didn't believe them but really, one night I went from offering him the breast to offering a bottle of water (he was 18 months old) and after a couple of times of waking up to that, he didn't bother waking up anymore.

The only concern that I would have is with the timing of moving them to separate rooms. If you wait until she's in her own room, she may associate this negative experience with being in the new room and have other issues sleeping. I would be tempted to give it a try this weekend while they're still in the same room. Your 5 year old will survive a couple of nights of interrupted sleep (my binky boy also shared a room and his brother was fine through this) and you'll break the habit in the old room and give her some time to adjust to her new sleep pattern before making the switch.

First, I have a 3 yo and she is no "baby". Explain to her that big girls don't drink bottles. Then go out and let her help you buy some cups. Notice I didn't say sippy cups... 3 yos don't drink out of those either. Then, if she wants something to drink at night, bring her a cup of water. My 3yo knows that once teeth are brushed, water is it. This is so important to her teeth- milk throughout the night can cause tooth decay.
She'll probably put up a fuss. But it will be shortlived. Go ahead and get her in her own room and start immediately.
Also, it's time to potty train. Start reading books with her about it and make it part of your everyday conversation. My 3 yo still wears a pull-up at night, but if she wants to put on a new one or change her bottoms, she does it herself. We put her clothes and pullups where she can reach them. She also knows that pull-ups are for nighttime only.
Be firm, and patient, and pretty soon you both will be sleeping all night.
Good luck.

Take the pacifier, take the bottle. At her age give a snack before bed adrink and that's it. and don't give them back. Also I would get her some plastic coated training pants. And Put them on her. No more diapers. If she is old enough to tell you she peed she's old enough to be potty trained.

Do the whole your getting a new big girl room. No more bottles, cribs, paci or diapers. It might be tough for a couple days but your not sleeping this way right? And I would also get a gate for her room.

I mean it depends... If she is drinking this much during the day as well, then it could be indicative of a medical issue such as diabetes insipidus. If she is ONLY screaming for milk at night, then I would absolutely refuse, and let her scream solidly for a few nights, she will wear herself out. Do not give in! This battle is totally winnable! You just have to stick at it for several nights.

My daughter still liked her going to bed bottle at almost three, I eventually weaned her off it by making the hole in the teat huge, so the sucking wasn't as rewarding.

Yes, you should take the bottle away. Babies (and yours is no baby, she's practically a preschooler) should NEVER have a bottle of milk or anything other than water in bed. You are asking for bottle rot/tooth decay. She does not need a bottle because she nursed. I breastfed my second for 14 months and then he drank from a cup, not a bottle. She does not need any feedings at night. You've started a bad habit, with night feedings which are leading to multiple diaper changings. She doesn't need the milk watered down at age 3, she simply needs no night bottles. I was NOT a cry-it-out mom, but this is not a child who needs what she is waking for, and she is not going to stop on her own. Not only are YOU not sleeping because you've created a monster so to speak, but your child needs a full night's sleep, not one that is interrupted 4 or 5 times for bottles and diapering. She does not need bottles of milk for soothing. She should be sleeping through the night.

Okay. To me, again, I'm not there, that she's not getting enough to eat during the day. I'd say she needs to eat a lot more in the evening then she won't be waking up "hungry". That many bottles means she's needing something. Something is lacking in her diet.

I have no issues what so ever that she's still on a bottle. If she got a drink of milk from a cup it is the same thing. So many people jump on people about bottles. It's a no brainer that if I drink a cup of milk I have milk on my teeth. If a child drinks 8 ounces of milk they have milk on their teeth.

Saliva has a job to do. It's job is to rinse the mouth out. IF IF IF IF a child is sleeping with a bottle of milk in their mouth with milk in it and it is constantly dripping on their teeth and gums....that means tooth decay. The saliva can't rinse the mouth if there is a constant supply of milk coming in.

So she can't sleep with the bottle in her mouth with milk in it. She CAN drink milk then go to sleep.

Perhaps you can switch her to a binky. If she is just needing to suck she can suck on a binky and not need mom to refill it.

As for the diaper change. I'd say she's old enough to start potty training when it warms up. DO NOT put panties on her at all while she's on the bottle or drinking this much during the night. You'll have a house that is flooded with pee and poop. BUT working on going could be fun.

I think once you feed her a big snack at bedtime and get her to sleep that you'll start to see her not waking up as much. Some kids do wake up though. Until they're older. Sucks but it does happen.

I also think that she might be sleeping too much during the day. She should not be sleeping more than 1 nap and 2 hours at that. I imagine she's pretty tired and sleeps more during the day. Keep her active and awake as much as possible during the day to wear her out then with not sleeping too much she might sleep more hours during the night.

Also, adjust her bedtime to later if possible, if she's going down at 7 she is going to be hungry 4-5 times during the night. Most people don't even eat dinner until 6 or 7...if they put their kids to bed at 7 when do they get to spend time with them in the evening? Try putting her down between 8:30 and 9pm. Feed her the evening snack around 8:30-8:45 then brush teeth.

She'll wake up for a bottle and it's okay. She needs to be stopped so you can rest but it's okay if she drinks milk.

I think you have already heard this but I think there are 2 important things. Make sure she has a snack before bed and get rid of the bottle completely. After you deal with the bottle part, then you can tackle potty training. Bottles are so bad for an almost 3 year old. It can cause tooth decay and effect muscle development and teeth placement.
What about some alternatives, ie stuffed animal that she could cuddle and help her to self soothe at night.

Definitely time to get rid of the bottle and pacifier and about time to potty train (of course she wants a diaper change every time she pees, wouldn't you?). Trying to do all at age three is gonna be tough. I would recommend not trying to make all changes at once (bottle, pacifier, potty training, and alone in the room).

Start by using just cups right away and allowing the pacifier only at bed time. That way she can still soother herself at night. Make having a cup of milk and maybe a small snack before bed part of the nightly routine...tell her "it's time for your bedtime snack" but let her know that once she's in bed drinks and snacks are done (if she's thirsty, she can have a sip of water from the cup of water by her bed). Then (and it should be relatively soon) start taking the pacifier as soon as she's asleep so she doesn't wake up with it in the mornings. You really do need to handle this now (and quickly) or potty training is gonna be really hard.

Your 3 year old does not need anything to get her through the night..milk or otherwise. You have created a monster here and it will be tough to fix.

I think that moving the girls in separate rooms is a start. You need to gear up for a few horrible nights. Every time she wakes up, go in an soothe her and then walk out quickly. You need to let her cry it out or she will never break this habit. Eventually, you just stop going in her room. She is fine and does not actually NEED anything through the night.

A 3 year old should not have a bottle...period... She does not need it and is very much capable of using a sippy cup. If she wants milk during the day, it goes in a sippy cup. Just get rid of the bottles entirely.

She knows enough to ask for a new diaper? That means that she is aware of her bodily functions and should be working on using the big-girl potty...

Bottom line is that you have let this go WAY too long. Your sanity cannot take 4-5 times of waking per night for a perfectly healthy child. You both need your sleep and you are not getting it...

No easy answer here, you need to take the bottles away completely. It's going to be rough. It's going to end up rotting her teeth out and I can't imagine both of you are getting a good night rest. Also she is not a baby anymore she should be able to sleep through the night without needing something.

At this age, she needs to be off the bottle no water what you put in it.
My younger daughter at that age HAD to eat during the night because she was seriously underweight. Our pediatrician had me wean her from night-nursing (which had caused me to be underweight) to baby cereal thinned out to a drinkable consistency (from a sippy cup), yogurt, apple sauce, etc. A friend gives her super-skinny 4 year old a 2 am snack of beef broth with vermicelli noodles (traditional baby food in her culture).

All at once, and in front of her, put all of her bottles into a bag and put them into the trash. But not your own trash. I would drive with her to one of those huge dumpsters and put them in there. :-)

Then no matter how much she begs you don't give in to buy more.

I also think that since she's three, she's probably past the point where you need to graduate to sippy cups although she might enjoy straw ones at meal times.

If she drinks milk all through the day it sounds like she's getting too much milk. I would start to give her water in between meals. Water with some fruit or raw veggies and some bits of cheese or cracker.

Is your 3 year old the one you're calling "the baby?" Is that why you've been lingering with the bottles? It's ok, I did the same thing with my youngest... calling her the baby... until she was about three. That's when she informed me she wasn't a baby but a big kid and I had to call her a big kid. I realized that thinking of her as "the baby" meant I was letting her get away with things that I shouldn't because I thought of her as much younger than she really was.