HELP! I Need Advice from ALL Moms

I'd say #2. Failing is just a lesson that he should practice more. It is a part of everyone's life. Class should be enough to teach/remind him of lessons, but, just like an instrument. You must practice. That way he is excercising his body and mind and getting school credit. And you save money and get to spend more time with him. Sounds like a winner to me! Help hime practice and he will love it--maybe not at first. But he'll be so glad that you are interested in his progress.

As a parent I know what you are going through, first thing I think of is try to talk with the teachers and see if they can help in any way. Sometimes they understand and will agree with a small change. Good luck.

Going to go out on a limb here....might be wrong, but are you upset for you or for him?
Sometimes we, as parents, get more upset about a failure than a kid does. I mean this in a nice way...we want to see our kids successful and when something doesn't go as expected, we can take it personally OR try to find the fastest, least painful cure.

Like the other moms, I agree that kids have to have some failure from time to time and they need to work thru it themsleves. After all, when they are 20 or 30 yrs. and have a failure, we can't jump in and fix it. And we shouldn't have to.

I would not go thru any extra-ordinary means/ expense for the karate retest. You should not re-do your work schedule for karate.
A commitment was made to the Band Camp and he is part of that group until it concludes.

It's OK for kids to fail (no matter how much it hurts us parents). If he's not ready to pass, there's always next class.

Since everything you mentioned is about your son what does he want to do? If getting his belt is not that important than don't spend the money and see how he retests. Ask the karate instructor for any advice where you may not have to spend that much money. Or have your son help pay for the week of karate camp to insure he pays attention. Band camp is important if it's important to him.

Talk to your son to get his opinion. That might help with your decision here.

I have read your post 5 different times and cannot figure it out.

Band sounds like it needs to be number one priority right now because it is school related.

Karate is an extra. Is there any way for him to just practice at home for Karate? Does he actually have to be there to practice? Is there another class for karate during the day so he can do both Band and Karate?

If you work from home do you need to be there at certain times to do the work you do there? Can you take a laptop with you while your child is at Karate and do work from another location like a Starbucks?

This is what I did when my child was at sports, tutoring, lessons or school activities. I just took my laptop, cell phone or any paperwork and found a place with wifi to get my work done..

If a child fails at something they learn to either work harder for next time, or quit. Part of learning to deal with disappointment is by having parents that say, "we're going to take our time on this, and keep working on this." I think the karate camp sends the message that if mom just throws money at the problem then it will go away.

Work with him at home with what he already knows and have him practice. Send him to band camp and simplify your life as much as possible. I vote #2.

As a mom whose son is on the high school drumline it is important that you son be at band camp the entire week. Are they learning how to march? If so, they learn different parts of a routine everyday. It drivers our band directors crazy when kids miss. Have your son practice every night and go on Tuesday. He should do fine.

I would have to agree with option 2. most martial arts camps don't train all day, they play, hang out and may get in like one hour of training. Just remember, he will not learn everything in one day or one week. It will come with time and patience. Just have faith that whatever decision you have, it will be the right one. Sit down and talk with your son and maybe together you will figure what is right for the both of you. You may also want to know what area he failed in the test and perhaps he can just put aside 20-30 minutes at home every night to practice on his own or maybe even with a higher ranked student. By the way..$175 for a week of karate camp is pretty steep! If he does go, I hope that there is some guarantee to him getting the proper training for the test cause if not, I don't see it worth the $175. Just a thought....Good luck to you both! I know he will pass!

I agree with Nan, ask him what he thinks.
Next, can the Karate camp be pro-rated so that you only pay for the time you go? How long is the Karate camp? Could you just pay for an extra class or tutoring for it?
Could you hire someone to drive him to Karate class or band camp?

Good luck,
H.

T., wow take a breather you are doing all this by yourself. How about asking a family member or friend to take him for testing if you can't take the day off. Sounds like you are juggling a big schedule all by yourself. Good luck!

$175 is pricey for one day. Can you afford it?

I did band for 7 years of my life. There are pros and cons. Missing one day at band camp should not hurt your son. He might loose his chair and will have to work to get it back but that is band 101.

If you can afford the $175 do it but if that will strap you for cash and make buying food an issue or major bills then explain to your son there is only so many hours in a day and you are happy to help him practice at home.

I would have him practice at home. its more important for you to be there with him espically if you can than for him to pass his karate test. but teaching him to practice both karate and band at home is important. i teach art classes and it drives me nuts that these kids dont practice what i teach durring the week, thats the whole point of me showing them a skill so they can use it go with it and make it there own.

I say stick with your plan and go with scenario #2.

How old is your son? Since you say he is too young to stay home alone it is beginners band (middle school). Then I would say whatever he prefer the most. Sounds like he really likes Karate. If he's in middle school and beginners band, he may not like or stick with it. If high school, then he may have to make a choice.

I'm just reading your post. I have to agree with the majority of moms here, #2. As a martial artist, I understand the importance of at home practice. You simply can not "get it all" from a couple of classes a week. Failing provides the opportunity to practice Endurance and Perseverance. We don't give up. We try again and Overcome, building Character. I'm sure you have made the correct decision. : )