So here is what is going on my daughter is 3 and has been potty trained since she was about 2 1/2 and she would go pee and poop in the potty and she was doing GREAT!
well then one day she decided not go poop and more in the potty, not in the little potty or the big potty. I dont understand and if it was once in a while then fine. But she is doing it everday. I cant even catch her doing it because she dont do it like other children she dont act like she is pushing she just goes with no warning. So we have tried to time out her and take her toys and i dont know what to do. And why this started all of a sudden. please help!
Maybe she is having a problem with her muscles? If she doesn't "push" or bear down at all when going, maybe it is coming out with out her knowing it's going to happen? I would talk with her doc.
I agree with the mom below who said see your pediatrician about the regression. And once the medical reasons have been ruled out there are some kid friendly ways of retraining her.
My son was one who had a difficult time sitting on the toilet long enough for #2. We started having little parties and parades around the house when he was successful. I know it sounds ridiculous but my son still remembers the songs we would sing. "Peyton went pee pee in the potty , Peyton went pee pee in the potty, Peyton went pee pee in the potty, Because he's a real big boy." We would grab his toy drums and tambourine and march around the house for a minute or two to celebrate. When he had an accident we would discuss it but not punish and it would be brief. The process didn't really take long at all. Maybe two weeks for him to get the hang of it. I tried to train him when he was only 18 months at the coaxing of my mother in law who thought it was ridicules that a child should still be in diapers if they can walk...lol. I know I shouldn't have caved in to that kind of thinking because I knew better. It was stressful for both my son and me so we quit after about a week of accidents. I waited until my son could verbalize what he needed so he could feel like he had some control over the situation. He was trained but for a few accidents by the time he was 2 1/2 years old. Except for a few accidents which are to be expected it was a success and we were both stress free in the process. I think pull ups are a god send and if you want to be Eco friendly cloth potty training undies and plastic pants are good too. Try to make it fun for the child so its not to upsetting.
Most of all just communicate with her and let her know what you expect of her.
Good Luck and congrats on the baby.
Punishing her is not the answer. That's going to make her feel worse and lead to more problems. My 3 year old did this as well, just about the time the new baby was taking away more of my attention. when she does it gently remind her that poop goes in the potty. It may be frustrating, but it's likely coming from something that is bothering her or making her feel like she needs attention, which is perfectly acceptable for a 3 year old to need attention. She just needs to learn appropriate ways to ask for it. Scolding her is simply negative attention, so not only will it upset her more,but it will make her continue the behavior. Keep reinforcing the idea that people don't go in their pants and don't get upset with her. Also take a look at when she does it. Are you usually distracted, doing something else? My daughter always did it when I was busy cleaning or taking care of the baby. She was jealous and wanting more of my time. Good luck!
The expectation of the new baby probably has something to do with it. You need to be patient and stop the punishing and try to get your child to talk to you about her feelings. Tell her to tell you when she needs to poop, and you will put a diaper on her so she doesn't get her underwear dirty. It sounds like she needs some extra attention right now. Once she feels more secure, she will go back to using the potty when she is ready. Also have your pediatrician check her to rule out any medical issues. Good luck!
I know you are probably at your wit's end, but I think you should avoid any kind of punishment related to potty training. Punishment makes it a power struggle between you and your little girl. I would reward her for going poop in the potty. Tell her what she'll get if she does. It doesn't have to be anything big. Everyone keeps telling me they were potty trained with M&Ms. It just has to be something she likes. Make sure she is getting plenty of fiber, too. That will make it harder for her to hold it in. Try to stay positive even though it is making you crazy. Good luck!
Hi L.,
Any time that a child looses a skill that they once had "suddenly" you should visit your doctor first to be sure that there is not a medical problem causing the problem. It is not the skill, but the loss of the skill that is a red flag that you should take seriously right away.
There have been several threads, one not to long ago, about a condition that effects the nerves in the bowel and cause exactly the symptoms you describe. I would do an archives search and read some of the responses about the condition, and ignore the psychological and behavioral ideas until you have taken her to the doctor and ruled this condition out.
If you rule out a physical problem, then you should be vigilant and inventory her skills thoughtfully for any other regression. While rare, there are serious developmental concerns whenever children loose skills.
Hope all goes well.
M.
Well, here is some advise that will sound harsh but it does work. Sit her down and explain to her she is a big girl now and big girls use the toilet not their pants. If she wants to be a baby then you will have to put her into diapers again. Explain to her there are a lot of things babies can't do and a lot of toys babies can't have. If you have to start using diapers again then some of her toys will have to be put away and some of the activities she enjoys she will no longer be able to do because she is not a big girl, she is a baby. If explaining it to her doesn't help then put her back in diapers, start putting away the toys and stop taking her to activities or letting her participate in activities that babies can't do. Take her to the toilet like you did when you were first toilet training her. After a day or two she will get really tired of the baby thing and start using the toilet again. Reward her by returning her privelages and toys one at a time for using the toilet and when she uses the diaper remove the toys and privelages again and she has to earn them back. Boring and time consuming for you but worth it for you both.
You might try giving her some kind of incentive like a small piece of candy or something that she likes as a "reward" to her if you take her to the potty. Tell her that she will only get her "reward" when she goes potty in the little potty.
I put a little bit of water in the little potty when I was potty training my oldest boy (now 7)and that seemed to work along with the candy or reward because it was something that he knew he would get if he did something good. He did have a few accidents but that was to be expected...
Some people might say that this is bribing the child to do something but I felt that if it was an incentive then it was worth the try and it did work for me.
Let me know if this method works for you or if you just need to chat more....
Good Luck with her!!
C.
