Hello. My daughter is a little over 3 years old an not potty trained. I know that she understands when she's about to "go" because a few months ago she wanted to go potty constantly for a week. Only #1, though, not #2. It didn't stick because it was during the week of my finals in school. Bad timing.
Well, a few weeks ago, she was going #1 really good (when reminded to). Of course, she had accidents here and there. The only time I put pull-ups on her is during naptime and at night (and when she's messed up all her panties). Lately, she's been slacking off when she goes #1. She'll "go" and then 1/2 an hour later she'll mess up her panties...and she won't even tell me that she did. She doesn't care.
What's worse is that she refuses to go #2 in the potty. She has no problem going in her panties or pull-ups. She used to hate the feeling of it when she went in her panties or pull-ups, but lately, she just carries on as if she didn't "go"...again she doesn't tell me...until I tell her to go potty. I've had her sit on the potty for so long....and she won't do anything. I've tried bribing her with rewards, but that doesn't work. I've tried taking things away (like she's not going back to gymnastics - which she absolutely loves - until she's potty trained), but I can't take everything away or else I would be depriving her of having any fun. We've told her that all her friends "go" on the potty. Nothing seems to work!
I just don't know what to do. It is so stressful for us right now. Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone else experienced something like this?
A., I had a similiar problem with my son. We tried something a little different - we had a "naked" weekend. All weekend, he had to go naked. It sounds crazy, but it worked. He really didn't mind the feel of pee or poop in the pullups. But, he didn't like it when he was naked. He still had a few accidents, and we repeated it again, but within 3 weeks he was potty trained. Just a suggestion.
I am currently working with my 3 1/2 year old son. Here is what I have done at it has been two days with 1 accident, none at night. I went cold turkey no diapers, no pull-ups. I bought several packeages of underware. I also bought a small plastic piggy bank(we call it the potty piggy) and I have tons of pennies. I really started working with him 2 days ago. I told him I was out of diapers and all I had was his big boy underware and it worked he put them on. I then told him that everytime he went to the bigboy potty he got to feed(pennies) the piggy. At first he didn't care about that but amazingly my 22 month old daughter(she has been using the potty here and there) wanted to go potty so I let her and she did and so I let her feed the piggy, well when he saw that he wanted to and has been ever since. I do have to remind him but I don't say do you got to go potty I say does the piggy need to eat and it works. He has even started going in there and yelling for me. I told him when the piggy is full he gets to buy a big toy at the store. I am getting lucky because when one of my kids gets something or does something the other wants it to so my daughter is wanting her underwear on and is using the potty more to feed the piggy. So I might have two in one. You just have to remember that there are going to be set backs and power struggles. I think once you except that you don't feel stressed and then in turn they do not feel stressed. I tried a while ago with my son and felt as if it was a struggle and so I quit and decided he won't be in diapers in school so who cares if he isn't ready. I didn't compare my child with anyone elses becasue every child is different. When they are ready they will do it, not when you are ready. Good luck and hang in there. O one thing I forgot as for some reason #2 is harder for them. So that could take a little longer.
I don't think there are many people out there who don't have the same concerns about their kids and potty training. My youngest who is 3 1/2 has been potty trained for over a year. First thing we did was let her pick out the potty chair that she wanted to use. Then we kept in the the family room with us. We asked her every 20 minutes if she had to go potty and ask her to at least try. When she did go we praised her and made a big deal of it. When she didn't we told her it was ok that at least she tried. The main thing is don't scold her if she does have an accident. Let her know if was wrong but that you will keep trying. Eventually she will catch on and it will work for her. Patience is the most important thing. I may take days, or even months, just keep reassuring her on the good things.
Good luck!
D.
I dont know if this will work for you, but it did for my step aunt with her 4 year old boy who was doing the same thing.
her son loves thomas the train. she got so frustrated with him for a lot of your same reasons. she took one of his favorite thomas toys away from him for 24 hours. she told him he couldnt have it b/c he knew how to go on the potty but wouldnt (he was almost totally potty trained and then regressed and this had been going on again for a couple of months)
it worked for her. he wanted his toy back so badly and he's probably afraid she'll take it away again that she's had no problems with him and using the potty since then.
Hi A.! I JUST went through this! I thought my little guy would be in kindergarten and still in diapers. You just have to wait it out, keep them in underware and they will eventually get it. I went for weeks without leaving his side, (he always seemed to slip away for a minute to go #2 in his pants!) We actually moved his little potty in his room (i know sounds gross but it worked) and he went in there when he was ready.
Keep your chin up, she will get it! :)
I found with my son, the more I faught and pushed the less he went on the potty. I finally gave up asking him and just let it go. I told him his best friend always went on the potty and I stopped talking about it completely. He was COMPLETELY ready when I did this. He was using the potty when reminded but just had accidents b/c he "didn't feel like going" and he told me that. So I stopped fighting. I did reward him for going, but I didn't punish him for not going. I just let it go. He started going all on his own in two days from me stopping. To him, it was a power struggle, when I gave up he gave in. His doctor told me as long as he was potty trained by 4 y/o she wasn't worried about it. He was potty trained at 3 and half.
Relaxe and good luck!
What kinda potty chair do you have? Because I found out that it mattered to my daughter. I had bought her one of those singing throne ones and at 3 she just looked ridiculous on it b/c she was so big and I'm sure it was uncomfortable for her to squeeze into. So then I bought her the seat that you stick on the actual toilet, I thought she'd like it, I was wrong, but it took me like 6 months to figure that one out. We went to Walmart one day and picked up one of those plain looking "pot" potty chairs. The minute we walked in the door she wanted to sit on it and she tinkled a little bit. It took about 2 days for her to start going pee exclusively on the potty. It took 3 or 4 days for poop, she was pretty scared to do it while sitting down. But really, I think the biggest part was that I didn't push her to do it, I reintroduced it and she did it. Also, she was just over the age of 3 and I think that helped. Hope some of this helps and good luck!
A.,
I had a similar issue with my now 4 year old daughter. As I look back on the potty training issue I truly think that I was ready for her rather than she was truly ready for potty training.(it's a mental and physical/body issue) We usually get alot of "outside" information such as other children being trained by 2 or 3 and we automatically think that our child should be potty trained. However, my daughter turned 3 and didn't seem to mind a dirty pull-up. I had others to tell me to cold turkey her and put on panties but when they are soiled it only adds to your madness; therefore, she had on pull ups until I notice that she was going to the potty. I would take her after she eats and check again every 30-45 mins until it clicked with her. I would then reward her after several days of dry pull ups. By taking her to the potty every 45 mins she learned the routine. Then one day she just started running to the potty and it clicked!! She was not potty trained until 3 and a half years old. I truly believe that we are ready before they are... Also cut off drinks 1hr and half prior to bed and take her to the potty before bed for the routine.
hi A.,
you said yourself that this issue has you both stressed out, so why bother with it? i suggest waiting until she WANTS to do it. i really don't think you'll be sending her to kindergarten in diapers! i waited for my son to do it on his own, and since there was no stress involved, it was instant success. he has never had an accident and has only wet the bed a few times. he was about 3 1/2 when he was trained for #2. for some reason, kids are a litte more apprehensive about pooping on the potty, and it takes more time. all kids are different and will be ready at different times, just take it easy! good luck! L.
First of all every child will do things at their own pace. What it sounds like to me is that she is affraid that she is going to miss something.. For all of my kids I always had a couple potty chairs. one in the bathroom, but one or two somewhere else, as if someone is in there of if the door is shut they wont go in. If you can find where she likes to go hide at the pee her pants that is where you want to put her potty. Also I would stop using the pullups, you dont want her to think it is ok to go in her pants some of the time, and then not the rest.. you can get a cheat shower curtain at a dollar store and put that on her bed, then the sheets over it, that way if she wets the bed it doesnt hurt the mattress. My oldest son was just about 4 before he even started using the potty. Now my 2 year old , I had tried a time or two to get him to go and he refused, , but then all of a sudden started going on his own, and hasnt had a single accident since that day. It all depends on when she is ready. I let him pick out his underwear, I dont know if it was just that I stopped helping and let him do it himself, but she will get it, will just take time, I would just try putting her potty somewhere that she feels comfortable, even if it is in the middle of the livingroom, once she starts, she will catch on quickly. Maybe if it is really stressful, you can stop for a couple days, then try again.
Good Luck!
Boy do I know how you feel A., I was there with my now 4 1/2 y/o. My advice, No Pull-Ups at ALL. When it came to bed time, I had my little one sleep in a sleeping bag (which she loved) on the floor. Made for easy clean-up in the morning; I just threw it all in the wash. About every 20 min I would say "oh, I think mommy needs to go potty". We watched potty movies from the liabrary and read books. Also, when she would wake me up during the night with her bottom half wet, I would send her to her room to get dry paints on and then she would sleep with my hubby and me or on our floor.
Also, I had tried to force her to use the potty prior to her being ready and it was WAY TOOOO Stressful! She wore diapers past three and I made everyone stop asking her when she was going to stop wearing diapers and all that. One day she laid down on the floor to put on a clean diaper herself and that was the last day she wore one. Best of Luck, This too will eventually pass :)
